TO BE GENTLE
Kids are like bulls in a china shop and struggle to grasp the world of physics. “Don’t slam the door!” we’d get yelled at… but it takes time to learn to be gentle.
It gets a whole lot easier to learn to be gentle and the effects of physics when you have to start paying out of your own anorexic wallet.
“You gotta let it out slow… real gentle like,” my oldest brother said. He was trying to teach me that some things in life required finesse, a degree of gentleness.
A ten-year-old mind trying to coordinate gentle between a gas pedal and a clutch is kinda like trying to teach a coyote to play nice with bunny rabbits.
After stalling our dad’s old orange Chevy work truck, it lurching like a bull from a chute several times, I did my own figuring; less gentleness, more ruthless action.
image courtesy of moment car.com
The time I shot Bobby with my oldest brother Dean’s slingshot wasn’t. That rock dropped him like Goliath… then again, he’d never gone out of his way to be gentle…
I tried to communicate a little better than the generation before us. I’d give details about the consequences of not being gentle with things. “Don’t slam the doors, it’s hard on the jamb, causes drywall cracks, wears out the hardware, breaks the bond of the glue on the applied moldings,” I explained. They just looked at me like I was speaking French…
They got older and drove their vehicles up the rolled curb of our driveway, kinda like they did speed bumps in parking lots; like they weren’t even there.
“You gotta slow down, crawl over them, eventually, if you don’t, you’ll trash your front end and I’ll have to get it fixed,” I warned. All three of them, make that four, including their mom, still hit the rolled curbs like Big Foot does the monster truck ramps.
It’s easy to tell others how to be gentle, the advantages of it, and the disadvantages of being harsh.
Back then I never stopped to consider their perspective… or mine for that matter. I wasn’t gentle. I never learned how to be gentle. I only figured out how to save myself grief physically from the laws of physics.
It never dawned on me that gentleness starts on the inside and when it’s just about not breaking things physically on the outside, it’s legalism…
My girls saw a hypocrite. I could tell them how to be gentle physically, but all I showed them was how to be harsh spiritually.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith…” (Gal. 5:22 KJV).
Many of us know too well the love, grace, mercy and gentleness, extended to us daily by our Father… and yet we struggle to pass those free gifts on to others.
I’m reminded that it’s only in Him that we can truly learn to be gentle.
Sunday, August 14, 2016 @ 7:08 pm
This is so true. How many of us haven’t felt the cruel whip of a harsh, legalistic spirit? It hurts to think that I have inflicted that same pain on others. God is merciful, and I think as we age, we mellow and more fully realize the value of a gentle spirit. Thanks for another great post, and my heart goes out to you as your baby goes to college. Praying for you, brother.
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 1:07 am
Ugh! This makes me yearn for a flux capacitor driven DeLorean. Not that I would have any luck getting into it…but it sure would be nice to go back in time and perhaps ease my harsh spirit when dealing with others. Still, a good lesson and reminder to carry with me today forward. Thanks so much Floyd!
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 1:58 am
So loved this, Floyd, and such a wonderful reminder “it’s only in Him that we can truly learn to be gentle.” Amen and Amen! It’s taken me a lot of years “in Him” to finally get that.
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 4:44 am
You certainly have a way with words, Floyd–and with truth. I find myself guilty of this lack of spiritual gentleness often, but in need of it constantly from others. 🙁
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 4:48 am
I want my Delorean as well. You are right in one thing for sure Floyd. This fruit is the result of the Spirit working within us.
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 10:25 am
Guilty, guilty, guilty…gentleness does not come natural with me, too much of a realist. When I am frustrated is the hardest to be gentle. I find frustration bring out the harshness more then anything. I have to walk away often from a situation so I do not become harsh with someone. This getting older business is not helping…and I so want to be that sweet little old lady who smiles all the time and give out candy to children. He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be…thank God….thank God.
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 3:53 pm
A great example of how the “Do as I say,not as I do.” parenting doesn’t work so well, Floyd. Most kids are a lot more perceptive than their elders give them credit for, especially in this day and age. I’m thankful for the ways the Holy Spirit has “gentled” me over the years. Blessings!
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 4:46 pm
Floyd, so honest of you to admit your shortcomings in this area. And yes, gentleness is something that comes from the inside. Sometimes I think it’s harder for men to embrace this quality, as our society has a way of teaching boys to be tough and strong. *Gentle* gets a bad rap, and is often seen as being weak. As in all things, if we look to Jesus, we will see a most gentle person – and yet, He was certainly no wimp!!
May the Lord continue to help us make our actions match our words. And may we be gentle with those we meet, kind and tenderhearted. It’s how God treats us, and He asks us to pass it on…
GOD BLESS!
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 6:02 pm
I would rather not be called a hypocrite, but there are some things I am not too gentle about. I have more money than the ones I see who are obviously on welfare, yet I feel I cannot afford a smart phone, nails done each week, tattoos, and piercings not mentioning where. That is one rant for today. My dad would remind us to shut the door, not waste water. I was never allowed to drive his car but once my sister and I did quickly drive around the block because I was sure he said yes. Dad was waiting for us out in front and motioned to drive into the garage. I do have a very bad fault and I share it with many other women, that is to drive up too close to the cement stopper and hit it. I am trying to over come and am doing better. Being gentle is difficult for those who are opinionated, such as me. Thank you Floyd for the reminder to learn gentleness and develop it in our daily lives. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story. http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Monday, August 15, 2016 @ 6:46 pm
That’s so funny. I’m also guilty of going too fast over speed bumps and also dirt roads. One time my sister and I almost lost control of our car going up a steep road with a drop off that was washboardy. It’s not easy being parents and watching your kids do crazy things! But I agree, gentleness is something we all have to learn – and it doesn’t come easily!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016 @ 9:20 am
A very good message about gentleness, Floyd. I enjoyed your humorous family examples too. Those fruits of the Holy Spirit take a lifetime to put into practice don’t they? The Galatians passage never gets old. My ears always perk up and my spirit comes alive especially when the words are crafted so well as your post. And I long to try again and do it better.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016 @ 2:11 pm
Floyd,
Enjoy all your descriptions 🙂 of driving….visual! And yes, only by the Spirit can we learn to be gentle as He changes us from the inside-out…bit by bit (Phil. 1:6) blessings to you 🙂
Wednesday, August 17, 2016 @ 9:57 am
As usual, you shared beautifully and got a lot of attention. I appreciate what you do. Bless you, Bro!
Wednesday, August 17, 2016 @ 10:48 am
I find the older I get the more gentle I become. I guess it’s due to all the rough edges God helps us polish off through not very gentle experiences some times. We just need to follow our Saviors examples.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016 @ 12:46 pm
This is why I wrote what I did last Friday about my kids. It’s hard not to push compliance (and any means necessary to preserve or ensure that) especially when you are only trying to protect them, but the relationship is what is most important. It can be exhausting to try gentleness when all you want to do is enter the comfort zone of anger, but it’s worth the fight. The other costs too much and even with the limited time I’ve been choosing self-control and gentleness, I’m already seeing gains, and that is awesome. Good stuff, Floyd! Thank you.