larry the loser


We have two dogs. Larry and Lola. Larry is older than Lola, he’s a little over six years old and Lola is a couple of years younger.

By the way, it wasn’t my idea to get either of the dogs. I nicknamed Larry, “Larry The Loser,” right after we got him. It was an easy call because he started doing bad things right away.

Let me give you a little background info for our story and on our cast of characters. I’m not an animal hater, the truth is I like animals. I still miss our old cat named “Box,” he died when Lar (pronounced Lair) was around one and a half.

The reason I didn’t want the dogs was the same both times. I didn’t want to clean up after them. All three of our girls gave the emotional pitch for the dogs, especially the first one, Lar. I got the perfect parent snow job. “We promise to clean up after him, and feed and water him everyday”! “You guys won’t have to do anything”! “You promised we’d get another animal”! etc, etc, etc…

Guess who cleans up the backyard smellies? You guessed it, me… McKenzie and Ali are gone off to college, but it wasn’t much different when they weren’t. Gurm picked up some bad habits from her sisters and struggles with the coordination of holding the shovel in one hand and the collapsing plastic bag in the other.

Lar is a good natured dog. He’s friendly and loves people. He’s also smart as a whip and although difficult to admit, has a better personality than me. One of his favorite past times is to entertain. He loves guests and likes to sport his black bow-tie for the occasions. He might be a tad conceited, but he knows he looks good with his “slick duds” on.

Lar has it all, personality, good looks and charm. He can shake, roll over and dance. In fact, it might be possible for Lar to learn anything, due to his addiction to “jerky treats.”

Lar has one big flaw, he’s male and he likes to mark his territory. It doesn’t matter where to him… He wants it all… I’m OK if he thinks he owns the outside, but he and I have come to a complete disagreement about the inside of the house.

He won’t pee in the house when any of us are around. No, he’s pretty sneaky as well. He’ll wait until no one is in sight to declare the couch, chairs or drapes his new conquered territory.

Lar knows he’s not supposed to pee in the house, but he does it anyway. He’s got a lot of talents, but playing poker isn’t one of them. He gives himself away. He puts his tail between his legs, licks his lips and turns his head from side to side looking longingly for the backyard.

Lar doesn’t look so proud these days. He doesn’t strut around like he used to when he didn’t have to wear a diaper. Once the diaper is installed Lar hangs his head and heads straight for his basket.

Lar is my little buddy, we are friends after all. I don’t know if I’d call him my best friend, but we’re pretty tight. We’re a lot alike Lar and me. We’re both stubborn and strong willed, but I have an advantage over Lar… I have thumbs!

I wonder what kind of diaper or control God will place on me for my stubborn and sometimes willful disobedience? I know the rules my Master has for me to live my life by, but sometimes like Lar, I just want to get my way regardless of what my Master wants.

I know that when I screw up and go my own way pleasing myself my Master will still feed and water me. He’ll still provide protection and provision. I know that despite my disobedience He’ll still give me treats occasionally whether I deserve them or not.

All this love and forgiveness from my heavenly Father and I’m not near as cute as my little buddy “Larry The Loser”!

NOTE* (If you care to see Lar, he’s in a video my wife shot for a contest that she won. Go to youtube and type in “larry the loser.” My youngest daughter has a small cameo appearance in the video as well.)