WEAR LINES

wear lines

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I was fascinated by the symmetrical triangular lines on the back of the leather looking necks, worn there by time and blue collar work in the unforgiving desert sun. I had a considerable amount of time to study those lines, year after year sitting behind a lot of those type of worn necks, bored out of my gourd during church service.

I soon realized that those triangular lines usually had matching triangular lines on the faces as well, although significantly smaller on their patterned, tired faces.

As a child, I imagined those tired eyes were due to age. I’m sure that has a great deal to do with most of it, but as I grew older I thought I could see some regret sprinkled in those tired, watery eyes as well.

I rarely saw joy in the eyes or actions of those men, at least not the way I measured joy at that time in my life. Maybe it was relief hiding in their eyes and actions proven by the fact they were at church, happy within themselves to know the truth before their death?

I remember rubbing the back of my neck with my hands in the hot Arizona sun as a kid, remembering the triangle lines on the back of the old guys. Kids spend time thinking about less than practical things, I was no different.

I had a slight fear as a child to grow up and be one of the old guys with a leather, worn, triangular lined neck with matching sample sized ones on my face. That was me judging them before I knew them. I’ve known some very good men with those lines on their necks and faces.

Even those men who knew God I sensed peace within but lacked the joy I thought should naturally accompany it. Then again, what do I know?

Now, I find myself fascinated with kids who lack wisdom due to their lack of having lived long enough to gather any, try to judge and fit others, especially older people, into the forms they think should be ideal in their world, like I did…

Like most of us, as  my time upon this earth increases, I see things just a bit differently. For those of us that know God, our exteriors are a masterful disguise of what lies below the surface. We are the exact opposite of what is perceived by many unknowing eyes.

The same thing is true of our youth or the exact opposite of what appears natural to the eye and a lost world. When we gaze upon youth, we assume a young strong heart with all of it’s potential.

In truth the young heart has emotional bumps and bruises ahead, heartbreak is imminent. Even in the understanding of the lost perishing world, there will be pain, notwithstanding the reality of the wicked and lost world that we share our lives with.

With the wear from time and living in our decaying world, we slowly begin to understand true peace and joy that can only be purchased with time or death. It is in the worn, and a bit battered bodies that our hearts become renewed with the love and understanding of God.

In that same often painful time period, we discover who we are not. All that we thought we knew as kids was speculation. It is in the tough lessons of life that we gain wisdom. In that wisdom God and His sovereignty is revealed to us.

I think to know God and HIs mercy and forgiveness of our shortcomings is to have a tad of regret, remembering in reverence our forgiveness. If that can be spotted in our eyes, that might be a good thing… Maybe the watery eyes is the joy I couldn’t see as a kid?

There is peace and joy understanding God’s truths. I’m not sure now if anyone can know the heart of someone by looking in their eyes except God himself.

I do think that God does sometimes give us a glance into the souls of others through their eyes. I’m not sure what yours show, I hope mine show peace, joy, and thankfulness to the One who designed them.

The leather triangle wear lines beginning to form on the back of my neck?

They’re not so bad, after all…

THE HIDDEN TREASURE

hidden treasure

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He was weary from the journey, the unforgiving desert seemed never ending. He couldn’t decide which was worse, the long flat dirt stretches mixed with a smattering of occasional cactus and creosote bush, or the rocky treacherous hills.

The topping of each hill or mountain felt like a little victory in itself but was short lived, only to discover another one following the last. He knew out there on the other side of the hottest stretch of dirt on earth was what he considered the promised land. The hidden treasure. He remembered the land transformed into it’s most unforgiving point right before the magical place.

After what seemed a lifetime, he finally reached the four thousand foot mountain range. He could see for endless miles west from that vantage point. He knew his destination was in reach as he braced himself and slowly made the descent back and forth, cautiously down the mountain. The drop off in spots was several hundred-foot sheer cliffs. One wrong move would mean certain death.

He smelled it before could see it. After a treacherous journey, he could feel the air begin to cool. He could almost taste the cold water as he swallowed, his dry mouth beginning to water in anticipation.

He crested one last hill, not knowing for sure if that was the last one, but alas he found himself looking at the most beautiful place on earth. His aching back and legs now couldn’t be felt.

He beheld the beauty first. Right out of nowhere it looked like his personal Garden Of Eden had sprung up. The vivid green leaves of the well watered cottonwoods formed a tall barrier hiding the treasure below that sustained them.

Below that, deep rich green bushes and vegetation among the cottonwoods spread out and up from the valley. Across the canyon, he glanced a high mesa, “If this were my land that’s where I’d build my home,” he mumbled in a low, barely audible voice as he talked to himself.

He envisioned looking out over the valley from that mesa in the late Fall afternoon. He could picture in his mind the beauty enriched by the long shadows across his perfect canyon.

He suspected a place that beautiful would likely have some dangers. He thought about the serpent in the Garden Of Eden he learned of as a child. His head locked straight ahead, eyes squinting at half mast, trying to focus as he searched for any movement. Even more troublesome would be the two legged animal. He’d come to realize it was easier to guess what a wild animal might do than it was a desperate human.

As he slowly continued along the far ridge, he caught sight of the very source of life that turned that place into an oasis. Making its way through the golden crust and sand, he spotted glimpses between a few cottonwoods of the dark blue shimmering water. He could see the sun brilliantly reflect off some of the bigger partially wet boulders flanking the creek.

He’d seen the beauty many times… He got close so often but never got to touch or drink the cool water or sit in the shade of the heavy cottonwoods with his toes buried in the golden sand.

He was moving too fast… He had a schedule to keep, he had responsibilities. He was caught on the hamster wheel just like a rodent… He could only look at the beauty and study it by slowing down to 70 miles per hour as he passed by on the interstate.

Those were the dreams of his youth… Those were the dreams of yesteryears…

The road to the big city was the on-ramp to life in the fast lane.

He remembered the verse from the Bible, “Be still and know that I Am God”….

He wasn’t very good at that one…

He is me…

TWO DREADED WORDS

two dreaded words

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I’ve come to realize a majority of people are influenced by two very powerful words in this world. The words have zero to do with our current reality. In truth, the two words are very wise when spoken in a proper perspective. The words can save time, money, friendships, relationships, even lives.

It’s the two words spoken audibly or inside of ourselves with an emotion of overreaching fear that begins to cripple and damage lives. I think most of us are guilty of using the two powerful words with a wrong mindset, maybe quite often.

I try to have at least a couple weeks of blog posts ready to publish. I can get really busy with work and life, so as a good steward I need to be prepared.

Then there’s the other side of the equation. The innate fear inside my belly… The ugly truth behind the good stewardship on occasion. Sure the positive side is in my mind, but also the weak, human side. The side that is poison in our souls.

When I think of it, it always starts with the two words. The two words that send slight electrical currents through my stomach. Pure poison, anxiety, and stress…

These two dreaded words are, “What if”? – “What if I go completely dry and don’t have anything to write”? – “What if I get writer’s block”? It doesn’t matter that I may or may not be a competent writer, that’s not the issue. All this over something that doesn’t even help feed my family? Can you imagine the Lala land I can deliver my mind into about other matters?

The issue is that fear, on whatever level, is unhealthy. There is no honor when the words “what if” bring about fear. I get the fact that all humans live with fear – I think a certain amount of fear is healthy. It will for sure keep us alive longer!

When the words “what if” bring about prayer, wisdom, and action, it brings God honor. When the words “what if” bring about white knuckle terror within us, we’ve lost the battle for our heart to the world and the masters of this world.

“What if we can’t afford the things we have”? – “What if this trip to the doctor is horrific news”? – “What if Junior ends up in jail”? I think these are fine questions to ask ourselves. It is the emotion or condition of our heart that tell the story, and only what’s inside each and every one of us God and us know.

It is the flesh that fools and traps us… It is the illusion that we have significant control that deceives us… To be able to live free from the fear inside us that the two words; “what if” conjure up, is to understand our rightful place in this world and God’s cosmos.

I believe the paradigm shift that occurs in the mind regarding our transition from fear to peace within, is really God’s miracle in our heart.

I’m not setting myself up as an expert, but I can testify to the power of God over my fears in this flesh. God has changed the way my brain perceives things in my life. I will have trouble in this life, that’s a given, but to truly know in brain, heart, and spirit that God will be there to see us through our “Valley of the shadow of death,” is a bonafide miracle.

If God has allowed something in our lives, it has a purpose. We are called to trust and learn in order to be prepared for whatever purpose God will have in our future to honor Him and in so doing, honor our families and ourselves.

Are we really so full of ourselves that we believe God needs us to worry for Him or ourselves?

Has worrying solved one single thing?

Didn’t Jesus Christ ask, “How can worrying add one day to your life”?

So here it is, the two-dollar question, “Is your biggest fear, standing next to God, bigger than He is”?

 

 

THE UNTHINKABLE

unthinkable

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He was unusually active that night. He was skipping, running, and even sliding around on the floor like a complete goofball. I should have known something was up, he was acting like he was on drugs or drunk, certainly not acting in his normal mode of character.

He seemed so happy and appeared to be having so much fun, I must have turned a blind eye, or blind brain… He wanted to sit close to me at dinner, which he doesn’t do much anymore. I even served him myself, his favorite food to boot.

I actually enjoyed the closeness and his desire to be close to me. It’s no surprise to anyone in the family that he and I have had our difficulties; his teenage years were an absolute nightmare. He has grown up and has become more settled, a little more comfortable in his own skin you might say.

After a nice evening of enjoying everyone’s company, he lay down in the family room and rested as my wife and I talked. I could see he was dozing on and off, opening his eyes every so often. It seemed, in comfort though, not in aggravation.

I got up to get something. On my way back to my chair, as I was passing by where he was resting, I reached out and patted him on the back. My intention was to show a man to man type of affection, after all, we had a nice evening and I felt close to him.

I don’t know what it was, but he snapped! I mean a full blown emotional into physical snapping! The little jerk did it! After all I’d done and sacrificed for him he did it… The unthinkable…

He bit the hand that feeds him! It wasn’t a full blown bite, but it was delivered with growls and all. I grabbed our dog Larry by the back of his collar and led him out the back door…

My pal went Cujo on me! We’ve been through a lot, but he crossed the barrier of what a man’s best friend should. He bit the proverbial hand… I was stunned, I’d even sneaked him some special jerky treats behind Lola’s back that night. (Our other dog). I’d rubbed his head and scratched his belly and this is what I got in return?

I even talked to him all night long, “What is your major malfunction Private Lar”?!!! He loves that one even more than, “Where’s your ball”?  I didn’t let Cujo back into the house the rest of the night. Most of the time I’m a little smarter than Larry, not all of the time, but most of the time.

I never raised a hand to my dad as a kid. I’ve also tried to never raise a fist physically or mentally toward my Father in heaven. I’m not saying I’ve been completely obedient, that would be an understatement, but I’ve tried to stay on the side of respect or sanity.

I marvel in disbelief and wonder when I hear people raise up in spirit against God Almighty.

I wonder how I’d feel if I could speak life into existence, then sustain the atmosphere that provides sustenance to something about the size of a small ant then have that ant that I created, loved, and sustained cuss me or bite me?

I’m not God, I can’t do any of those things, I don’t even know my heart compared to the One who created it.

Of all the dumb, reckless, fearless, brave, and courageous things I’ve ever done, I’ve never had the nerve, guts, or heart to question the God that works all things together for His good will. My insanity goes only so far…

I know other Christians who have the relationship with God to be able to test Him in these matters. It might be different for all of us.

I can’t say for sure what’s always the best thing for my dog Larry, only God knows. Of course, He is perfect.

Not being perfect and all, it’s occurred to me, maybe I shouldn’t call my dog Larry, “Private.”

Or ask him what his major malfunction is?

 

THEY WERE THE BEST OF TIMES

best of times

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Debra seemed to be able to get anything she wanted as a youth and as an adult. She seemed to have it all, good looks and an outgoing personality. It looked pretty obvious that her God-given gifts would take her far.

Everyone looking from the outside knew those gifts were the best thing that ever happened to her.

Phil was described by his coaches, friends, and family, as a “stud.” He too seemed to have it all, enough brains, rugged looks, a decent arm, with speed and quickness that could get him out of just about any tough spot on the football field. His God given gifts were the best thing that ever happened to him.

Tina was a natural. Motherhood seemed to fit her like a glove, she just made it look easy compared to the other moms. Tina’s kids were well behaved, involved in school, got good grades and were well above average at everything. Her skills as a mother looked to be the best thing that ever happened to her and her kids.

John made all the right moves. He knew when to buy and when to sell. When he went into business for himself, there wasn’t anyone who doubted that he would become successful. We just didn’t know how successful…

All the right moves put John in a league of his own. That success that seemed to come on him overnight was the best thing that ever happened to him and his family.

We’ve all seen it. The people that just seem to have more skill, gifts, or luck when it comes to certain things. The gifted people use those gifts given by God to achieve what most people never get a shot at.

I’m always in awe of the people, to whom the natural abilities come to with less effort than the rest of us. However, often there is another side to the success stories…

Things started to look different in Debra’s life when she hit her late forties. She was still pretty, but her eyes had a hardened distance to them. Her gifts served her well for awhile, but couldn’t hold together a couple of marriages.

The men Debra would have to settle for and rely on now, she found less than desirable. She felt forced to use the only gift she’d ever developed…

The same gifts that carried Phil through a colorful high school football career carried him through college and a mid round draft choice after his sophomore year into the NFL. Phil showed promise, but his quickness and speed were just above average, playing against the best in the world.

After several teams tried to train Phil to stay in the pocket and become a passer, they gave up. When things got dicey, Phil always reverted to his roots, he tried to run. That strength had become Phil’s weakness and ran him right out of football.

As Tina’s children got older and eventually went on to school, she found herself alone with a man she didn’t know; her husband. Tina had been so involved in her children’s lives she had become what looked like the perfect mother, but not the perfect wife…

After 25 years of marriage, the gap of neglect became too wide to get over for Tina and her husband…

John had it all, mini-mansion, vacation homes, private plane, yacht, and the stellar office with marble on the walls. He was fortunate enough to buy fancy cars for his children, the best schools money could buy, and the best drug rehabs as well for his wife and children. They were the best of times…

The only thing John lacked was the experience in business to know how to deal with a long recession. He lost it all… Including his family…

In hindsight and wisdom from God almighty, life is different than what the world tells us it is. Sometimes the best things that we are blessed with can become the worst things that we are cursed with. This happens when we rely only on the gifts in our flesh.

In contrast, some of our daily struggles that we dread and groan through, are really the best gifts we could ever be given. By not receiving some of the most treasured gifts in our flesh, we receive some of the best gifts in our lives. The gifts from God that develop the most important of all gifts; grace, mercy, perseverance, and the wisdom to see the real truth in the gift of a simple life.

This is when less becomes so much more…

 

 

(All characters are fictional)