THEY AREN’T THAT INTO YOU…
I’ve read those words more often than I’ve wanted to and much more than I ever anticipated. Even after a fairly long parade of trudging through this fallen world and experiencing the disappointments along the way, this familiar reminder still takes a bit out of my heart like a hungry dog does canned food.
I’m not sure what the percentage is, but bad news is delivered to my email just as efficiently as the good news. To be honest, I’ve had much worse news in my life, but this one stings a little closer to the heart. After all, it is my heart that I’ve tossed into outer space with no line of defense.
I talk to myself sometimes when I get the unwanted announcement, “Who now?” I sit in my chair of grim reality contemplating the thoughts of the person who would rather not read the heart or perspective I’m sharing. Though disappointed, I grin and nod my head as I read the announcement from my Mailchimp subscription management account, “Nuts! I guess they’re just not that into you.” I guess not… I don’t ask why, does it matter? It’s a person’s right to do as they want or feel they should. I guess they aren’t that into you…
I go out of my way to keep things lighter in the way of doctrine and theology, I think we should unite as Christians on the fundamental foundations of our faith, not bicker about the peripheral details that the enemy uses to divide us, but one lady didn’t like my interpretation of “fear of the Lord.”
Although it is reverence and respect, there is also an issue of awe… least that’s what my Strong’s concordance says of the translated word from Hebrew. The young lady didn’t agree with the translation and sent me and my words packing. I’d never met her face to face, but I knew that she was probably a decent person; I just didn’t have the heart to return the not so great a favor in revenge.
One of the cancelations that shocked me and stung worse was from a guy who called me his friend. Turns out after all the years I was only his friend as long as he was getting something from me… other than words… He used the subscription cancellation from my site like a Frenchman slapping me fashionably sassy across the face with his leather glove.
Pain and hurt are part of this fallen world. In truth, all of us inflict pain in others even if we don’t mean to. We disappoint people and usually our loved ones first. I’d even go so far as to say sometimes we push other’s buttons on purpose, to pay them back or make them feel bad for not doing exactly what we think they should have or what we wanted them to do.
I’ve noticed the pain of others hurting us, on purpose or not, has a lot to do with how we think we deserve to be treated. Our pride gets hurt… we consider ourselves before them. That is backwards, my friends, “seek first to understand,” is merely an extension of God’s golden rule. We want people to consider us, yet too often we fail to consider them.
I can only imagine the stress my old friend must have been feeling when he clicked the “unsubscribe” button from the monkey sent link. The monkey is right, they’re not that into me… I just have to use that comment as a reminder of why I picked up the pen and paper to begin with…
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 11:42 am
I’ve encountered those emails from mailchimp- not the most fun emails to receive.
The scripture from Ecc came to mind as I read your post,
“Do not pay attention to every word people say,or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Ecc 7:21-22 NIV http://biblehub.com/niv/ecclesiastes/7.htm
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 12:34 pm
For those of us that know that rejection, it is a little like my last post, I wrote both of them sometime back, and back to back – Guess I had it on the brain, we know that it is part of being out there. As long as we do what we do with honor, I say let the chips fall where they may! Great verse, by the way. Thanks, TC.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 12:52 pm
Thx for all you do my friend. You make me laugh and sometimes cry. I always enjoy everything you write, and most times think about it many times after. We can never please everyone, as you know. Just keep doing what you do so well. I wish I had the strength, wisdom, and courage to do the same. Sharing your heart with others is never easy.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 7:42 am
Thanks, Brad. I appreciate the kind and encouraging words along with that big ole’ heart, brother.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 12:59 pm
And then there is the, “Hmmm, they must not be that into me.” You know, the comment you make to yourself when no one seems to be looking your way. Both are toxins to the system… but, “That is backwards, my friends, “seek first to understand,” is merely an extension of God’s golden rule. We want people to consider us, yet too often we fail to consider them.” And this is where the answer lies… less of me, more of you. Thanks for the reminder.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 7:51 am
Thanks, Lisa. I know we share the commonalities of this world, and while there is disappointment, there is fellowship… and what could be better than that?
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 1:02 pm
Rejection sucks – no matter the delivery system. Being told “I disagree” is one thing, being told “You’re wrong – now go away” yet another.
Praying the sting leaves soon…
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 7:54 am
The sting was gone after realizing that I’m called to give, not to get. If I do get, and I get plenty of good people like you, it’s a bonus. Rejection is part of this life and your opening two words tells me you know this truth all to well, brother!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 3:26 pm
I’m sorry you’re getting some rejections in mailchimp and in queries, it sounds like. That never feels good. I’ve gotten several of those too from my manuscript queries. Hang in there! I read somewhere that about forty rejections is common for many published authors, if not, more! Keep plugging away.
I’d love your impressions on mailchimp though, in the meantime. Pleased? Things you learned and wished you had known earlier? I’m still on feedburner.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 7:57 am
Thanks, Jennifer. This is just part of life and a good thing to learn from, and I will keep plugging away… The thing that was once called my “stubborn streak” has served me well in the ways of perseverance in my life.
Overall, I think Mailchimp is great. It can track things far more than I use it for. I actually had someone set it up for back in 2010 and they said it was the best… What do I know? It seems to do pretty well!
hazel i moon
Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 6:54 pm
I take off in the opposite direction, on some of my comments, and I wonder if the writer feels rejection. The lady in question must not have studies that out or she would have discovered that there is more than one kind of fear. I tried to unscribe from a person awhile back, because I have left comments for two years, and never once have them read my blog or made a comment. I finally gave up because I was just having a bad day, and I really like his site. I did removee a woman off facebook, because she is sarcastic and I just did not desire any more negative remarks about her life. Oh by the way, I entered this post on Tell me a Story, because I offered members to enter more than once. God bless and as my Robert says, rejection is better than ignorance.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 8:00 am
I appreciate your wisdom and support, Hazel. Rejection is one thing, but sarcasm is another. I’m with you there. I love that quote by Robert! I’ll have to use that one! And thanks for adding this to your site!
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 2:40 am
Some people just have no clue. Some like to hear what they want to hear not what they need to hear. Some reject you out of spite. Some reject you because..well…just because. As a pastor (and a recovering people pleaser) this is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. Then the Father whispers, “Since when are you into pleasing others above Me? Say what I want you to say.” This is also one reason why I use Google Reader. I can quietly go away, especially if it has been eons since they have ever visited or commented on my site (as Hazel mentions). Your writing is from your heart Floyd. Don’t quit doing that for clueless people.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 8:07 am
Thanks, Bill. Your position brings way more in the form of rejection than mine does by a long shot. I appreciate your wisdom and take here, Bill. And no, I can’t quit unless I feel led to, and like you said, it’s not about pleasing others, it’s about pleasing our Father first.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 5:42 am
I don’t know why people (oops, that includes me) have to be so loveless sometimes. 🙁 I guess it’s the easier road and makes us feel better about *me* (albeit only temporarily!) when we let it all out on an unsuspecting victim. Sorry you experienced that again. I know we all go through it–it’s part of the human experience–but it is still hard to get used to. I’m glad you’re a sensitive enough man to feel the pain though–because we benefit from that sensitive side.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 8:10 am
That’s a great take, Lisa. There is much to be gained in all processes of life. Without the sting of even these type of small things we wouldn’t be able to learn to consider what the other people might be going through and their difficult times. In the end, the best thing for me is to be reminded, “it’s not all about me…” Thanks, Lisa.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 6:22 am
I am sorry to hear that you have had some problems with people on your blog, especially your friend of many years. I have also lost two good friends the last few years because of standing up for Jesus and exposing lots of lies that are taught in His name. And it hurts! But we get more than sufficient grace to deal with that as well. I recall the day when my one friend accused me of saying the Bible is untrue and that our Pappa was going to punish me. Well, this is all in the past now.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 8:12 am
I admire that perspective, Mia. It is all about His sufficient grace! In the end if we get reminded that we serve Him and He is sufficient, we have the right heart for the hurts and needs of others. Great call, Mia. Thanks… “This is all in the past now.”
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 6:34 am
It’s a journey, Floyd. Not everyone will continue on the same road with you. You’re a writer and you need to write what you feel, follow your passion. I like that you keep the Christian aspect on the light side in your posts. i think that is how we reach those who are on the edges or are not Christians. As a habit I don’t subscribe to blogs, so you never have to worry about me unsubscribing. I also have never started my own subscription list. I have mixed feeling about that kind of marketing. Just keep doing what you’re doing.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 8:14 am
Thanks, Dan. And thanks for always having a practical take on matters, that’s a gift. And yes, I’ll keep doing what I do while I’m called to do it. In truth God uses our words as much or more for us than He does others in many cases… mine for sure.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 9:01 am
Floyd, keep doing what you do. Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead, fed over 5,000 with 2 fish and five barley loaves of bread and they still rejected Him. You have unique gift of writing that many people enjoy. I love to read your encouraging and empowering stories. When one person rejects you, God has more that accepts and needs your message. I can’t wait to your next post.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 1:40 pm
Man, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your perspective and wisdom and how you spell it out so purposefully. I hear you, I’m hanging in there, I just have to remind myself it’s not about me… If it is then I fail… Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, Bernard.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 2:59 pm
That last line Floyd, it’s powerful. Am going to keep it close and remind myself the same thing whenever i receive the news from mr monkey.
I’ve had many unsubscribes and i haven’t gotten used to it 🙂 Maybe am not supposed to? to avoid become callous maybe. But what i know is that it’s always reminding me about my values and priorities. Thanks for this today.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 6:03 pm
Glad it spoke to you, Ngina. It’s something we all have to deal with as part of what we’re called to do. I needed the reminder myself to keep things in a proper perspective, it slips away too easily. Thanks, Ngina. And thanks for the tweet.
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 9:52 pm
Floyd, just hang in there, I know you will. I can hear it the heart that you write with. Some of us fear rejection so much that we just sit on our hands and do nothing instead. That is one of the many reasons I’m still “thinking” about blogging and not actually DOING it.
Remember, God has gifted you with a writing ability that reaches people’s hearts, and the heart can be a touchy place even when you mean no harm, even when you intend only the best for others. So keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing it well!
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 11:12 pm
Thank you, my brother. I will keep walking the line and I thank you for all the wisdom and support you give generously. I also think that with the skill you were born with or you have nurtured, you need to jump in both feet. If there is anything this world needs it is one more voice of truth that spills it as eloquently as you, my brother… God bless you, David. You lift me up.
Saturday, June 29, 2013 @ 7:32 am
Hey Floyd…Just checkin’ in with one of my favourite bloggers! As far as I can see, your definition of the phrase, “Fear of God”, was bang-on. It’s really odd the kinds of things we Christians find to argue over. You do keep the Christian ‘slant’ low-key in your writings, and, as far as my opinion goes, that’s the best way I know to ‘speak into’ the life of the curious seeker; the kind of person who might find it interesting to consider the mysterious presence of God in everyday circumstances and situations. You do it so very well, Floyd. Keep doing your best with the gift God has given you–all to His glory!
Saturday, June 29, 2013 @ 9:28 am
Many of us tend to argue over the things in scripture of how we perceive them and desire them to be as opposed to living the calling of all of us to live it in humility as exampled by our Savior. It takes things like getting rejected or “unsubscribed” from to remind me of all of us and our calling. You summarize things so well, Jillie. I truly appreciate you and all the wisdom and encouragement you offer. Thanks so much, Jillie.
Saturday, June 29, 2013 @ 11:54 am
I like your honesty in this post, Floyd. It does hurt when we receive rejection. I think it is even harder when that comes couched in a religious reason as it feels like an affront to our spiritual walk. And while it still stings, I’m glad to know that all I have to worry about is my relationship with Father.
Your point about the sting being related to our pride is spot on. Keep sharing, my friend. I, for one, enjoy the encouragement and challenges you bring my way.
Saturday, June 29, 2013 @ 2:29 pm
Great point, Chuck. When our focus is on Him things kind of fall into place and off of us like water off a duck’s back. Thanks, Chuck, likewise, my friend.
Monday, July 1, 2013 @ 3:11 pm
I used to let those unsubscription notices get to me. I actually once Emailed someone to politely inquire why they had unsubbed. But I’ve learned that a lot of times it has more to do with them than with me – and sometimes it’s OK if they’re not that into me.
Monday, July 1, 2013 @ 5:46 pm
Absolutely, Loren. It’s not about us to begin with and end with. It’s when we let our pride begin to be a part of the process that we need a reminder… even if it’s a “Nuts! I guess they just aren’t that into you!” I guess not… so be it, and yeah, it usually is about what they’re going through and us understanding is a mature way to be. Thanks, Loren.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013 @ 8:54 pm
Great post Floyed! Love this statement: “We want people to consider us, yet too often we fail to consider them.” Powerful statement!!! It’s amazing what happens when we are willing to first love, care, and help others. We reap the immediate fulfillment and plant seeds that will reap rewards down the road. It’s like what Zig Zigglar said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want”
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 @ 7:00 am
Thanks, Dan. Powerful and passionate comment. Your passion and wisdom will carry you far!