THE SCARS OF CHANGE
I often just point to my favorite old seat in the corner of the bar area, “Of course!” they usually say from a distance or just give me a nod and a smile in agreement. It’s been a long time since that old restaurant was in its glory days; I remember those days that I shared with that restaurant… not so glorious in hindsight.
The repainted old slump block and weathered siding on the outside hint to the age of the old eatery. The low ceilings and burnt orange 6×6 ceramic tile on the floor along with the dingy and discolored grout inside the old diner remove any doubt… that place has seen its better days.
At the old breakfast bar, you can see where they ripped the bar stool poles out to accommodate wheelchairs if needed. I guess there hasn’t been much chance of finding matching tile to repair the old floor for a long, long time.
I slide into the cramped and crackled old brown leather two person booth. It doesn’t matter how many times I sit there, I still have to adjust myself to accommodate for the worn out seat that slopes toward the side opposite the window where everyone has slid in and out of it over the years.
I sit with my back to the wall, I can see everything from that vantage point. I can ponder everyone that comes or goes through the old divided light window, the bottom is just about chin level while seated and the ground just outside the window is a few inches below that.
The two separate sides of the restaurant are divided at that point where I sit that forms a sort of atrium with a worn and warped tan painted trellis above. The west side of the old place is a conference room now-a-days. Back in the day it was a night club… not too many folks around here know or remember that about that old place… I remember…
I remember the youthful ignorance spent there… I’ve let the details fade like the old grout lines, but the arc of the story is still there…
I guess change is inevitable. I could go to a different place to get an inexpensive breakfast. Truth is, the food’s not that great… There’s a ton of options and choices, but I like the old place. It reminds me that change is possible and change is good, if done for the right reasons.
Me changing into nice clothes like I used to sport during the younger days there and patronizing a newer and nicer establishment won’t change the past. That’s pretend and I think pretending is best left to children and youthful ignorance.
The old restaurant also reminds me that changing doesn’t change the past or who we were. Sometimes that change for the better leaves clues… even scars. There was a time that society and that restaurant didn’t think too much of the need for a place for people in wheelchairs.
It was a good change to update the place. The scars from where they ripped out the old bar stools is a reminder of that change. Those old scars aren’t so different from the scars of change we carry with us of a life lived with little wisdom. That old restaurant and I have a lot in common. We’ve gained wisdom along the way…
And have the scars to prove it…
Hazel Moon
Sunday, February 3, 2013 @ 7:17 pm
WOW changes must occure to meet regulations such as access for wheel chairs, but some changes are not necessary. I write a post for my true story tomorrow, about a restaurant we often attended in the Bay Area that was forced to close because of unrealistic and expensive demands by the Health Department. So not bending, the owner retired, leaving 33 families without a job.
I can see taking our a couple bar stools so wheel chairs could come in. I am glad you had memories of better days even with the scars that have healed over to give wisdom marks instead.
Floyd
Sunday, February 3, 2013 @ 9:21 pm
I hear you, Hazel. There is a point when government surpasses what it is we should allow, but wisdom calls from every where… We just need to listen. I’ll look forward to your post. I sense a lesson coming! Thanks, Hazel.
Audra Krell
Sunday, February 3, 2013 @ 8:02 pm
Is this place in Scottsdale/Phoenix? I just might want to try it. Not to pretend, but I like places that take me back to simpler times. It seems I can be myself the most there.
Floyd
Sunday, February 3, 2013 @ 9:25 pm
I hear you, Audra. It’s Coco’s at Paradise Valley Mall. It used to have the Baxter’s night club. Tatum and Cactus… Next writing meeting… We’re meeting there. I write like the wind there… At least I feel like it…. We gotta go… I meet Lenna there sometimes. We have a ball. Of course she doesn’t… or didn’t know about the past until now…
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 3:36 am
I have made some really stupid decisions in the past that have left huge scars- on me and others. Can’t take them back no matter how much I’d like to try. As I was growing up the only place I can remember like this (that I was taken to) was a place called Isaly’s. It had phenomenal ice cream.
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 6:52 pm
I guess we all have left some scars, difficult not to in this fallen flesh. What a gift we have from our Father in forgiveness! Oh yeah, who doesn’t love ice cream? Especially in a hot Arizona afternoon… Thanks, Bill.
Dan Black
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 8:48 am
I have a few places like your restaurant. Places where if I had the chance(Because they are in North Cal. and Portland OR) would bring about the memories of how I had changed, often for the better. It’s great to think about those places and the changes. Wonderful post!
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 6:53 pm
Thanks, Dan. It is good to ponder where and far we’ve been lifted up from by the hand of our Father.
Chuck Allen
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 8:48 am
This was beautifully written, Floyd. And while I’m not always thankful for the scars, I am thankful that we change.
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 6:54 pm
Amen, Chuck. I agree, brother; I don’t like em’, but I’m thankful for the needed change that only the power of our Father can provide. Thanks, Chuck.
tcavey
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 9:18 am
As I read this I thought of the only cafe in my home town. I worked there through High School. Each afternoon the same farmers would come in for coffee…so would the pastor and deacon from my church. It was a simple time…a good time.
I went off to college and found my way into “trouble” but I can’t say I really regret some of my mistakes, they helped shape me into who I am. They are examples of the love of Christ and show all the changes He can make in our lives (if we allow Him to).
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 6:56 pm
You hit the nail on the head, TC. That’s exactly how I feel. Some of us with thicker skulls need a little more persuading! Well said. Thanks, TC.
Jillie
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 9:24 am
Hi Floyd! This is good stuff! Took me back to a place called ‘The Co-Pilot’, a dingy little restaurant owned by a foreign guy named ‘George’. All us hipsters knew George and loved to gather in his tiny establishment for fries with gravy! Mmmm. Best in town!
It was also the place where all ‘the bad boys’ would congregate, and my girlfriend and I would always hope to be noticed by just one of them. How glad I am today that none of them ever did! They were ‘too cool’ I guess. Which is now just fine with me. But, I related to what you wrote about “youthful ignorance” and some of the stupid plans my girlfriend and I hatched up in that place. Seems like forever-ago…because it was. I didn’t come away from those days unscathed—I bear the scars—but scars, at least, are wounds that have ‘healed over’. And, Thanks be to The One who forgives ALL our transgressions and our youthful ignorances!
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:01 pm
I love the way you write, Jillie. You have such passion and wisdom with a wonderful heart mixed in. I agree, thanks to the One who gave all to mend us and carry us toward home. Thanks, Jillie.
Audra Krell
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 9:50 am
Somehow I missed the line about it being an old nightclub! Maybe I need to slow down!!! Yes, we are so there, the next time. I love having pie there, so don’t be surprised when I order up a giant piece. And I’ll even order you one too!
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:02 pm
Don’t tempt me! I order coffee there regardless of what time of day it is. Oh, and I’ll give you the seat with the back to the wall. What are friends for?
Audra Krell
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:03 pm
You make me laugh, I was going to bring up my seating requirements in the last post, but alas, no need.
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:10 pm
See there? I know how you think! Kinda scary actually….
Audra Krell
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:11 pm
Let’s just leave it at “great minds” and then we won’t have to be scared, yes?
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:16 pm
Oh… Good call! We’ll try to sell em’ that one. Gotcha!
Betty Draper
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 9:50 am
Agree this was good writing. It took me back to a couple of cafe’s that housed those “youthful ingnorance”. My favorite was the one we could dance in, hoping to be notice by whoever we liked at that time.
Those deep wounds I carried into my adulthood God turned into scars used to bring Him glory. I have learned to be content with them for God never waste a thing. Thanks for the journey.
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:05 pm
“God turned into scars used to bring Him glory.” Yes. Very true and profound, Betty. It’s an amazing miracle that God can use our weakness and disobedience for His ultimate glory and our wisdom. And I always appreciate you sharing yours here. It’s a blessing, sister. Thank you.
Hazel Moon
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 3:37 pm
Thanks for sharing this post at “Tell Me a True Story.”
http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/ Make Yourself at Home is a short post on the welcome page.
Floyd
Monday, February 4, 2013 @ 7:07 pm
Thanks, Hazel. I’ll check it out and hope others will join me over at your place. It’s always a great trip!
Ngina Otiende
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 10:15 am
i think I tend to forget the past far too quickly..i find that scars are God’s mercies, even gifts to me – they remind me of the depths He picked me from, they make me appreciate His glory. I think a life without scars can be a shallow life. And when scars are visible to others, kinda gets harder to claim His glory for ourselves – it becomes clear to everyone else, not just to us that it’s His goodness in us that makes us something, not ourselves. Thanks for making me think today, as always.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 5:46 pm
What an awesome response, Ngina! Wow. That comment is chalked full of wisdom and depth. It’s a great point; our scars do point to our Father who mends all things until He takes us home and heals us completely. Thanks, for the thought and heart provoking response.
Nancy
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 10:55 am
Well…now you did it! You inspired a little verse. It’s all your fault! Enjoy!
Today I live in victory
Yesterday’s stings are gone
From time to time they try to haunt
I refuse be be their pawn
“His scars for mine!”, is what I say
His Blood has ransomed me!
Thank God the past can’t hold on to
A Child of The Majesty!
Shadows of the past, they come and go
Not all that come are dire
I’m thankful for The Love of God
Who changed my inward desire!
Floyd
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 5:51 pm
Man alive! I’m blown away by the talent, wisdom, and heart today! God is here in you and the others, Nancy. He’s speaking and singing into our souls through us. I’m so blessed to have such amazing Christian sisters and brothers spending the wisdom and gifts of God with all of us here. Good stuff. That’s an amazing poem, Nancy. You should get that submitted some where. You got talent, girl.
saleslady371
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 11:47 am
Upbeat and healthy post, my friend. I meet so many that do not reconcile their pasts and can’t move on like this. Btw, I like to sit facing the decor and the people too. Makes me feel connected. Have a great day!
Floyd
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 5:54 pm
Must be the way our Father designed us! I find that people who run from their past don’t get very far… Oh yeah… I learned that lesson the hard way too! Good insight and thanks for adding to the discussion. It is always appreciated!
Mike
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 7:56 pm
I’ve done a lot of changing over the years, and hopefully have gotten better over the years like a fine wine. 🙂 But like you I carry some battle scars that will always be there under the surface. I’m glad that most people can’t see them.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 8:18 pm
I think there’s a good possibility that most of the good things we see in this life is due to some hidden scars in others. You wear them well, my friend. Thanks, Mike.
Jason Stasyszen
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 @ 9:04 pm
Reminds me of some places in Oklahoma where I grew up. Most of them are gone now, but a few hang on. I’m with you–it’s nice to know while some things change (even in these places), there are things that remain the same and point to simplicity. You’ve got me reflecting, Floyd. That’s usually not a bad thing. 🙂
Floyd
Wednesday, February 6, 2013 @ 7:03 am
Glad to hear it, Jason. It’s often easier for me to see the path in front of me once I glance back to see where it is my Father has delivered me from. Thanks, Jason.
Loren Pinilis
Thursday, February 7, 2013 @ 6:49 am
Sometimes the process of growth is painful and sometimes it leaves scars, but I know that looking more and more like Christ is a glorious undertaking that is worth it in every way.
Floyd
Thursday, February 7, 2013 @ 7:15 am
Amen, Loren. It ain’t always easy, but the process brings unparalleled gratification and honor. Well said, thanks.
Joanne Norton
Friday, February 8, 2013 @ 1:40 pm
Much of what you said is very true, from the past and our present and the future. We have seen so much, known how things changed or could change, or should change. Entered our hearts. Buildings are buildings … and saw are we.
Good to see you. [And I’d be hanging out in the same type of booth in the former places I could see once in a great while.]
Floyd
Friday, February 8, 2013 @ 6:35 pm
You and I could drink that place out of coffee, Joanne! We can use those memories as reminders. It’s not living in the past. It’s making sure the past doesn’t pass us up! Thanks, Joanne.
Maureen Jepchumba
Saturday, February 9, 2013 @ 12:40 pm
Change is inevitable. Change is good even necessary. How true.
No one wants the scars, but they are a testimony. A reminder of the pain, of the choices but also of God’s abundant grace and love for us.
One day we will see Jesus’ scars by which we are healed. I believe our scars are not in vain and whether hidden or not, we are wiser for them. God is good. Great post Floyd!
Floyd
Saturday, February 9, 2013 @ 3:25 pm
I couldn’t agree more, Maureen. Well said. Those scars prove the miracle of God’s omnipotence and redemption. God is good indeed… Thanks, Maureen.