THE ROAD OF DREAD
The street is old now and its age shows traces of wear, something like the deepening lines on my face. It’s a long street, longer than I would have ever imagined in the frantic days of youth. I avoid that part of town as much as I can. The newer part of town is more comfortable, it keeps me looking ahead to what is possible.
I’m a busy guy – too busy to sit idly and wander down the old lane and revisit places I’ve put far behind me. The road of dread reminds me of things I don’t want to think about or remember. Old memories long past and buried don’t need to be exhumed and re-examined. Or do they?
Circumstances always seem to bring about scenarios I’m not interested in participating in, but somehow get pulled into regardless of my preference. A worn out tooth needing repair mixed with a non-spiritual medical fast needed for a procedure the following day caught up with me as I turned to navigate that old familiar lane once again.
My built-in GPS barked orders as I made my way back down Memory Lane.
The street is worn, but there’s much to take in – too much to grasp in one visit. Each time down the dreaded street reveals more detail needed to navigate the newer roads of life. All the events have left monuments like old Mom & Pop stores that can be re-entered and the isles of the past seasons in question be reassessed.
Facing the reality that time and ignorance has taken their toll on this physical body gives me and maybe others reason to question the events that have pieced together our lives so far. As I mosey down Memory Lane I realize that most of the old stores that represent seasons and events in my life have been all about me…
A few of the mental monuments that stand out as I pass by still look brand new – they seem untarnished by time and wear. I realize they are the beautiful things I happened to do along the way… there’s just not nearly enough of them. That old lane dreary with not near enough selfless beauty.
The wonderful gift of free will allows us to build the streets of our lives and our memories allow us to re-visit where we’ve been and what we’ve done. In retrospect, the only truly good memories are the ones when God put in my heart to be selfless and do for others like and with the heart of our Father.
I want to build memories of beauty that will last beyond the wear and limits of my physical life. As we look back across our lives the only things that stand out and bring joy with a correct pride are the things we’ve tried to do for God and the ones He’s blessed us to be able to share a little of our lives and memories with.
When we stand with our Father and look back over our lives, what will our Memory Lane look like?
The rest of the lane is under construction, the story yet to be finished, and can look and read anyway we choose…
Hazel Moon
Saturday, July 13, 2013 @ 5:47 pm
I can remember the last time we drove by where we grew up and raised our children, and how it has changed. Memories fade, and some of those we do not want to revive, others we cherish and put them down on paper or computer.
I like what you said about the story not being finished yet, and we can chose the next chapter – – – 🙂
Floyd
Saturday, July 13, 2013 @ 7:51 pm
Thanks, Hazel. May we run the good race and write the ending by the will of our Father. I’m blessed to share this chapter of our stories… makes mine that much better. God bless, Hazel.
Mia
Saturday, July 13, 2013 @ 11:06 pm
Dear Floyd
Yes, it is good to go back at times down memory lane, for we can learn a lot from the past. But we must make sure that we only go there for a visit and not a long extended holiday! Neither should we be overly concerned abou the future. That is a recipe for total disaster!
Blessings XX
Mia
Floyd
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 1:48 pm
Agreed, Mia. Easier to navigate the future after seeing the similarities of dangerous spots in the well. Good call, Mia. Thanks.
Doug Blair
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 4:57 am
You are looking for the direct cause-and-effect evidence in your pathways. Perhaps you should enlarge the scope. You have an aroma as a follower of Christ (2 Corinthians 2: 14-16). The bump-and-grind in the spirit realm is working out another legacy that only Heaven will tell. Soak in Jesus. Talk to Jesus. Name His name without fear.
Acts 1: And you shall BE witnesses unto me…
Floyd
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 1:51 pm
Thanks for the encouraging words, Doug. The lack of the correct fear and/or reverence is the ugliest of my memories. Looking ahead through Him.
Bernard
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 6:27 am
Floyd, you are the man. I needed this boost of inspiration. I loved your last line ‘The rest of the lane is under construction, the story yet to be finished, and can look and read anyway we choose’. That reminds me the Father gives me a choice to construct my life His way. He gives me a free will. I love how you paint the picture and drive the instruction and inspiration home at the end.
Floyd
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 1:52 pm
Thanks, Bernard. You and I walk similar paths and it’s good to fellowship. Glad to add a lift to you the way you do me, brother. Thanks, again.
Betty Draper
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 7:37 am
Encouraging post brother…especially about there being time to make more memories. I don’t dread going back to the past for God has filled those pot holes with His love and it travels easily in and out. This Calvary road has a few more pot holes ahead but He walk with us to guide us through them. It’s when we think we can walk it without Him that we stumble and fall into those pot holes. And then at times we refuse His hand to help us out thinking we will do it our way. Oh I could go on and on with this analogy…but I need to makes some memories today. Blessings.
Floyd
Sunday, July 14, 2013 @ 1:54 pm
How I look forward to your wise and comforting words, Betty. The potholes for some of us look like Grand Canyons! But you’re right of course, navigating without him is spiritual suicide. Thanks, Betty.
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 2:28 am
I don’t live near my old home so the streets there are but memories almost forgotten. The “memories of my mind” are a different story. While some are good and comforting, others show poor choices, arrogant actions, and a pride-filled life. I prefer the good and comforting ones and aim to make good ones now.
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:46 pm
I’m right there with you, Bill. We live in the same spiritual city, Bill…. my house is just on the other side of the tracks! Thanks, Bill.
Jillie
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 7:14 am
Good post, Floyd, as always. You have me thinking again. It’s actually painful for me to drive by the places I once lived. There are 4 houses in my area where I did my growing up, and truly? There are more bad memories than good ones. Each “home” we had, holds vivid, frightening memories. And they well up inside me every time I find myself in those old neighbourhoods.
I’ve also navigated some very rocky, pot-holed places in my life. Places that reveal my self-centred youth, my shameful choices. How completely grateful I am for the night I stood in my doorway of the house I rented with a girl friend, feeling very empty and sad, when I KNOW the Saviour spoke to me. He said, “You were made for better than this.” I still see the bare-branched trees of October, the full moon shining down on me. I did not realize WHO the voice was that spoke, but when I had a true friend at work say the exact same thing to me within days of this “encounter”, I knew it was time to make good changes in my life. That took some time, but it has happened. He has restored to me all the years the locust had eaten. My story has improved a hundred-fold, and even though I still visit these places in my mind, I know they’re covered by the blood, and every day is opportunity for better. Much better.
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:48 pm
Thanks for sharing your story of redemption, Jillie. We all have one and they all come from the hand and heart of our Father. I love how you describe the places in mind and heart that stir memories of my own and all the places that I’m thrilled to not live in spiritually anymore… The new side of our city is brilliant! Thanks, Jillie. Awesome testimony!
David
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 9:08 am
As I read some of the comments here I realize I had a pretty decent childhood for the most part. So it causes me to pause, look up and say a quick thank you. There were a few bumps, some I was pushed over (forgiveness has smoothed out those ones), most were of my own making (those credited to the school of hard knocks). I have known many people, some who are very close to me, who were not so fortunate.
I have driven by the house I grew up in many times with my wife and kids and shared many-a-memory with them. I have actually wanted to stop in and share some of those memories with the families that have lived there since. Of course they’d probably think I’m some kind of looney-bird if I just showed up on the porch that we used to sleep on many warm summer nights, knock on the door, and say “Hi. I used to live here. Can I come in?”.
I’d tell them that I planted that curly-willow in the side yard sprouted from a branch from another tree. I’d tell them about climbing an old apple tree that had biting red ants in the trunk. Though the tree is long gone we’d brave the red ants to climb and eat the apples right off the branch. Hide and seek in the yard with the neighborhood kids, football games in the street, I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Yeah I was kinda blessed.
I hope the road thus far traveled and the road under construction lead to some more good memories – especially for my kids.
Anyway Floyd, great post. As usual your thoughtful posts help stir up long buried memories. Thanks for sending me back home for a few minutes.
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:50 pm
What a wonderful place to go, David. Felt like I was there with you… and the red ants for apples? Yeah, I’m with you, brother… anytime… Thanks, David.
David
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 5:32 pm
I realized as I re-read your post that it was more about our spiritual memory lane, looks like I took the “historical” memory lane fork instead but that’s okay, I enjoyed the detour anyway. Hope your readers did too.
All this caused me to wonder how it is that the same set of words bring about such a diversity of responses. I guess it’s evidence of a creative God having uniquely wired each of us when He knit us together in our mothers’ wombs. Each of us with a perfect free will to navigate this fallen world and a perfectly loving Father there to pick us up and dust us off when we choose to travel a path we probably shouldn’t have taken ….
Floyd
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 1:06 pm
Amen, David! The gift of redemption through His grace is the ultimate form of love I think. I paralleled both the spiritual and the physical and probably didn’t communicate the subject well enough, but I’ve learned that I sometimes get more out of these posts when others, like your take, goes in a direction that is beyond all of us. I really appreciated your take on it. Like I said, I felt like I was with you and building a fort was next on our agenda. Thanks for all you add, brother.
Michael Holmes
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 9:38 am
“I want to build memories of beauty that will last beyond the wear and limits of my physical life.” Amen to that!
I am all about that. At the end of the day it’s what I’ve done to serve my generation to help propel the next generation is what matters. When I look down from heaven I want to know my life made a difference.
Thanks Floyd for awesome words!
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:52 pm
Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, Mike. I know you practice what you preach, brother… and you are figuring out how deeply I respect people like that. Thanks for being you.
tcavey
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 10:15 am
Great post, Floyd. Very timely for me.
I just got back from a vacation. To call it a ‘vacation’ isn’t apt as it was a trip down memory lane.
I wanted to take my son to places I loved as a child. It was bitter sweet to share those moments with him. They brought up old memories- some good, some bad. But as I made new memories with my son I found healing for some of my old memories.
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:53 pm
I figured you would, TC. You just have that kind of natural God given wisdom… How blessed to share that with your son… Awesome… Thanks for sharing that. I was wondering…
Lisa notes
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:38 pm
Apt post for me too because I attended a funeral on Saturday at my old church and saw many old friends that I haven’t seen in a long while, people I grew up with. The trip down memory lane concluded with lunch with some dear friends that we’ve known forever and we all laughed and enjoyed (and sometimes made fun of) old times.
Not being able to change the past–good or bad stuff–is one of those uncontrollables of life. We can change our perspective on it; God can redeem it; but the facts are the facts.
“The rest of the lane is under construction” – I so want it to be a smooth ride, but I figure God has a few more bumps for me along the way. 🙂
Floyd
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 4:56 pm
I hear you, Lisa, but your lane is becoming more and more beautiful by the day. Thanks for sharing memories which makes my lane a whole lot brighter…
Barb Raveling
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 6:19 pm
I’m with some of the others – I love the last line. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. Plus what I love about God is that He can redeem past mistakes and use them for good. I love personal growth and how God helps us grow so we can chart new paths we weren’t capable of before.
But I also enjoy memory lane just for the fun of remembering. This past weekend we had friends come from Texas that we hadn’t seen in 20 years – it was fun to spend the weekend with them and cement our relationship in a new way.
Floyd
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 1:09 pm
I’m with you, Barb. The ones we share our lives, even, or maybe specifically difficult times, with bring a bond that can last a lifetime. Those are the true treasures of this life. I’m also with you on the miracle of redemption. God can spin our worst into beauty… It blows my mind. Great call, Barb. Thanks.
Mike
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 8:02 pm
The roads from my past are full of potholes and mud. I’m glad and grateful that God has upgraded my internal GPS and is leading me to the Kingdom Highway. It’s also great to know there are other drivers like you heading that way. 🙂 Love your story telling, Floyd!
Floyd
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 1:10 pm
Thanks, Mike. It’s great to share that road as we encourage one another along the journey… those are the hidden blessings, my friend. I love the analogy and perspective, Mike.
Dan Black
Monday, July 15, 2013 @ 10:13 pm
To leave a lasting and impactful legacy requires that we daily chose the right path and choices. Which can be easier said than done, especially with our sinful nature. I know I’m not perfect and fail a lot but have learned we serve a graceful and merciful God who always redeems us and puts us on the right path. Powerful post today!
Floyd
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 1:13 pm
I’m with you, Dan. It truly is all about His redemption, Dan. He makes beautiful things out of dirt… That song popped into my head as I was reading your comment. Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement, brother. Glad to know you’re on the road with me, Dan.
Dan Erickson
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 4:34 pm
I think taking a trip into our past is partly what creates strong writing abilities. To be able to look at our former selves with new eyes gives us a whole new perspective.
Floyd
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 @ 6:10 pm
Couldn’t agree more, Dan. Great point. Amazing the gift of free will to be able to adopt a new or different perspective. Thanks, Dan.
Loren Pinilis
Monday, July 22, 2013 @ 6:23 pm
I think not so much of making memories that I’ll be proud of but investing in eternity in a way that I’ll be proud of – though I guess they’re really the same thing!
Floyd
Monday, July 22, 2013 @ 6:37 pm
I guess, but I kind of like the way you described it! Love the perspective, Loren. You got the wisdom, brother! Thanks.