THE LAST LAUGH…
Seeing and listening to him laugh always made me laugh – and hard… He had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard as he was telling the story about a guy he served with while in the military. After he finished telling the story, he jutted his lower jaw line out, mouth open slightly and used the back of his wrist to wipe the moisture from both eye sockets while still laughing.
I was talking in class, too much I guess, when my fourth-grade science teacher yelled at me to turn around and be quiet or shut up, I can’t remember. No one seemed too worried about being politically correct in those days… What I do remember was her telling me to “Wipe that smile off your face!” I didn’t hesitate. It was too late, the story was already part of me and it was no longer thinking at that point, I was on auto pilot… even though I had no idea what that meant at the time.
I’m sure my eye flashed a mischievous twinkle as I looked at my teacher and smiled bigger, “I said wipe that smile off your face!!!” She demanded in pure fury. I had her. She was mad, just like the officer was in the story my dad told of the guy that was equal to his ranking of private at the time.
To me, it seemed like a good idea. I mean it was the perfect set up, how could I resist? After all, I was only human. The words and detail of the story were my script and the classroom was my stage. My science teacher glared at me turning shades of red I didn’t know a human could accomplish.
I waited a few more seconds for effect – a glance around the room to both sides taking in the worried and some horrified looks on my fellow fourth-grade student’s faces. I then looked back to the teacher; I thought I could almost see smoke rising from her ears.
At this point I wasn’t even faking a smile, I was on the verge of laughter, knowing what came next in the story my dad had told. I slowly and deliberately moved my right hand up to my face and placed my palm over my mouth… I then slowly dragged my hand and fingers over my mouth exposing as straight a face as I could muster… I had wiped the smile from my face.
The classroom in majority broke out laughing, but not my teacher – no laughter there. She marched a few steps toward me and yelled at the top of her lungs, “GET OUT!!!” As she pointed toward the door… I knew what it meant – I was no stranger to the principal’s office. My teacher had lost the battle, yes, but she had just sent me in retreat toward punishment finishing off her victory of our little war.
The smile on my face was gone – long gone. I knew if my dad found out the disrespect shown, especially using a family story to do it, I’d do more than just lose the war to my teacher, I’d be whipped and put into solitary confinement… the little kid kind…
It’s a tricky world we live in… Even the best and the purest of things given in love or learned in honor can be used to do harm, evil, or just be misrepresented. I find that to be the case with Christians too often. Like undisciplined children, we pick and choose the parts of God’s word along with the stories and tend to use them like hammers… instead of love.
About the laugh? No, no, no… I didn’t get the last laugh after all… Turns out I was the only fourth grader to flunk science that semester…
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 2:45 am
I can see it. Been there done that. All that kind of stuff. You did make me laugh at your last sentence, although I guess that was no laughing matter. So…what did the principal do? Laugh or contain himself long enough to “let you have it” and then go into his office to laugh his head off? Sure am glad I was not that kind of kid who would jokingly call his teacher a prevaricator (Liar).
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 3:42 pm
Why am I not surprised!!! I hate to use the “laugh out loud” symbol because I think it’s over used and I’m not sure everyone who uses it is actually laughing out loud. This time I’m laughing out loud!!!!!! You called your teacher a prevaricator???? No wonder they were offended! Like me, they probably aren’t one hundred percent sure of it’s exact meaning!!!! Too funny, Bill! Man it’s good to have my eyes tear up in laughter!
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 3:06 am
Yeah I did. I was in 8th grade and the teacher was fond of using it and calling his students that. So one night I asked my dad what it meant. The very next day he made a statement to me and I called him that. He had this big paddle with holes in it. No need to go any further. 🙂
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 12:02 pm
I’m actually laughing again!!! What a relief to know that I’m not the only one out there that was a complete knucklehead!!! It just seemed so right at the time though, didn’t it?!!! We’re gonna have to compare swat stories… I have a feeling it would be hilarious! Thanks again for making me laugh, Bill. I’ll bet your daughters didn’t know what a wisenheimer their dad was until after they were long past that stage!!!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 6:12 am
So Floyd….You were “class clown”, huh? Why does that not surprise me? And that you were the only one to flunk your Science class that year? Teachers have their own way of getting revenge, don’t they?…bless their hearts.
Enjoyed this post. Took me back in time to similar ‘occurrences’ in my own school years. Like Mrs. Kitchen’s shorthand class. I used to make her so mad with my talking and “goofing-off”…and then, she’d inevitably ask me to recite back to her what she had just dictated to us…and I’d get it right every time. How could I be giggling so much and yet get every word down in my shorthand pad? But I did. Also got top grades. Maybe I invented “multi-tasking” long before it was a buzz word!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 3:49 pm
Oh, this is fun! Isn’t it funny that all of us who are born with the urge to write and share are the same ones who talked, joked, and drove adults crazy? I was never as talented as you. I can remember too many occasions to recount the similar questions, “Huh.. Floyd, you wanna tell the class what I just said?” Of course they were trying to gain control by embarrassing us into submission. I’d never know the answer so I’d say something completely off subject, “Huh… You were talking about the weather?” It never went over well… It’s good to know there are an ample supply of retired class clowns around here! Know wonder we get along so famously! Thanks, Jillie!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 8:52 am
Nice story to illustrate your point.
Reminds me of when I was in 6th or 7th grade my English teacher told me I was riding the fence between being cute and being a smart- Alec (not sure I spelled that right).
I told her I must have fallen off the fence and landed in a mud puddle.
She could barely hold back her laughter. So glad I didn’t get sent to the principals office- my parents would not have found my behavior amusing.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 3:52 pm
Miss Quick Witt! I love it! Why is it the artistic people are always the quick witted ones? It’s nice to be surrounded by the family that was cut from the same mold! Thanks, TC. I can definitely see you bordering that boundary… and blowing blatantly over the line!
Monday, March 25, 2013 @ 4:58 pm
My mouth has gotten me in more trouble than I care to admit (or remember).
Thankfully I’m getting “better” at not having verbal diarrhea.
Monday, March 25, 2013 @ 5:03 pm
As usual, I’m with you! I can bite my tongue better than I used to… but even better is now I actually try to stop and think… You know these things don’t happen over night! Thanks, TC.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 1:34 pm
You sound so much like me. I was reading this story just imagining myself doing the same thing. I think the principle got used to seeing me on a consistent basis and there were many teachers if you go back to my High School now would tell you that they would have thought I would have turned out to be nothing but a BUM.. Yes, we can’t spare the rod, its in the bible and we don’t want spoiled Children.. But being in 4th grade at the time, I knew it was funny.. Not for the teacher or you after flunking Science. Great story!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 3:57 pm
Thanks, Lincoln. Somehow I knew that you and I had warmed many a similar chair in a principle’s office… In those days it was swats… child’s play compared to what we got when we got home! I had a conversation with my Civics teacher my senior year in high school. Essentially he told me that I was a loser and that I would be a completer failure in life. I laughed and bet him $500 bucks that I’d be doing better than him. We planned to meet in five years after I graduated (by the skin of my teeth), but when I knew that I’d won the bet and God began to bring a little humility in me I passed. In truth he might have been happy for me. We never know what someone will do to motivate a person. Thanks for reminding me, Lincoln… You know I’m gonna have to write a post about it!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 6:49 pm
Can’t wait to read the post Floyd. Its funny how God humbles us and shows us the better way.. His way.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 6:59 pm
Couldn’t agree more, Lincoln. The things done in the flesh are always wrought with regret. Excellent call.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 5:34 pm
I don’t remember laughing when the teacher called me out. Actually I was passing a note to my then boyfriend. If I remember right we were giggling a little. Well the nut does not fall to far from the tree. Fast forward a few years and our daughter did the same thing only put about four boys names she thought was cute, she was 5th grade. Her teacher put her note on the bullitin board for all to see. It was no laughing matter but I don’t think she ever wrote notes again in class.
There is nothing I like better then to laugh till I cry so keep the stories coming. This very same daughter and I have a great relationship where we often laugh till we cry…two nuts. Good story brother.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 5:52 pm
It’s tough growing up, but it sure makes for good memories, even when they weren’t always fun at the time. These are the best kind of stories to share due to the fact that all of us have one… or two… Yeah, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Betty. So glad to hear that you share the laughter and tears with your daughter. What a blessing. Thanks so much for sharing, Betty.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 5:45 pm
Great post. I can just see you wiping that smile off your face. I would have laughed along with your class-mates. The teacher was not doing her job when she failed you. That was pure vengence. It doesn’t pay to make snap judgements about people and out and out tell them they are a failure. However in your case, that might have been to motivating fact for you to “show your teacher” that you could excell. Perhaps you had the last laugh after all.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 5:57 pm
Thanks, Hazel! You know me, I’m laughing for sure! Isn’t it great when we can admit our mistakes and shortcomings and know that God has used them to make us wiser. It brings such peace and it makes the retrospective look back fond and funny! I do have to admit that science wasn’t my strong suit and it certainly couldn’t have all to do with my antics. I know that you can relate to this post too, Hazel! We’re two peas and a pod – you and me!!! Thanks, sister.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 6:03 pm
Well, I must admit, I cannot relate. I was such a perfect child and student! Ha! Don’t believe it!! Mother told me I never talked back to her, but oh, could I roll my eyes! Seriously, though I usually didn’t misbehave in class (except maybe the usually girl stuff of passing notes), because likely I couldn’t have stood the consequences. I had some wonderful teachers, and in fact, I just saw my 99 y/o English teacher last summer and was invited to a beautiful party to celebrate her birthday. She is a ligth in my life and I dedicated one of my books, in part to her. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Floyd! Kids will be kids, and I’ll bet God has retained your sense of humor. The teacher probably appreciated it down deep, but was just trying to discipline you. No doubt, though, you didn’t become a teacher yourself. =] It’s not an easy job.
Fondly,
Lynn
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 6:58 pm
That is so amazing to be able to still be in contact with a teacher that had an impact on your life. She must be so proud of you! And yes, Lynn. My sense of humor does tend to work overtime… Without pay! Interestingly the teacher I wrote of is actually one of my friends on FB now. Her husband and I were in a few business deals together until a motorcycle accident took his life. I shared with him the story of this incident years ago. He laughed until he cried and said, “That’s my, girl!”
Funny huh, Lynn? I hadn’t given much thought to that part of her life lately until now… One minute laughing, the next minute somber… That’s this life… Interesting how wide our gates of emotions can swing so far each way…
Another interesting thing is that while I definitely was not a teacher… I’ve taught quite a bit in my life… It’s an honor to do so. Wish I would have been a bit more respectful in the early days. Some kids just can’t sit still… Thanks, Lynn. You have a way of always bringing out the pondering in me. That’s a good thing…
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 7:51 pm
You know, Floyd, after I wrote that I thought…..no, but you ARE a teacher! You teach right here several times a week. I learn a lot from you. How wonderful that you know that lady and that she is still speaking to you…..little joke…….and yes juxtaposed with a somber side of life. She must be so special and brave. I’m so glad that the two you of you have stayed in touch….as I am so glad with *my* teacher. I owe her so much in terms of my writing…..and just how to be a lady.thanks for your continued inspiration, Floyd.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 8:20 pm
Thank you for the kind words, Lynn. Especially coming from you… I have an inkling of how many you’ve taught and that’s a humble gesture. I wasn’t exactly the kind of kid too many people really wanted to be around. Trying to be cool is quite an obnoxious trait in people, even young ones… I’m blessed I have anyone to hang with from my past! Thank God literally for forgiveness!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 8:22 pm
OH my goodness, Floyd! We’re all in that category–thankful for His unconditional love and undeserved forgiveness!
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 11:56 am
I guess you’re right… Thanks for the reminder, Lynn!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 @ 9:51 pm
What a way to learn deep lessons! Ouch! 🙂 But some of us never learn any other way now. Oh am so glad God is not like a 4th grade teacher..He’s sprinkles my life with many second chances.
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 11:58 am
We’d all be in big trouble if God was like our fourth grade teachers! Second chances are His redemptions… Well said, Ngina!
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 10:54 am
What a story, Floyd! I was way to shy to be the class clown, but I used to whisper funny remarks to my friends. Sometimes they’d say them and the whole class would laugh and then I’d be mad that I didn’t get the credit! 🙂 I’ve thought about your point too, that good things can be used for evil. It’s like what scripture says about our mouths, they can be used for blessing and cursing. In Him though, there is only light, no darkness. Thanks Floyd.
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 12:06 pm
I’ll bet that made you wanna stand up and say, “Hey, I said that, not him!” Our mouths do manifest what is in our heart. It’s common for youngsters to have a heart full of folly… not so pretty or acceptable when we get older… We either bring our Father and ourselves honor or dishonor… We’re all the same, Jason. As kids we sought to be significant and still struggle to keep it in check and let our lives and mouths point to Him… Good thoughts. You got my mind in gear! Thanks, Jason.
Saturday, March 23, 2013 @ 7:36 am
Ouch, flunking science. No fun. I was the class clown too. It was an art to push the teachers right up to the edge of being furious without ever really giving them a reason to go over that line.
Saturday, March 23, 2013 @ 12:26 pm
Sounds like you had more skill than me at it, Loren! The teachers really loved me or loathed me. I don’t think there were too many in-betweens! Come to think of it… it’s still kinda like that! Thanks, Loren.
Sunday, March 24, 2013 @ 1:49 pm
Ha, great story. I’ve been their and have done that while in school:)
Sunday, March 24, 2013 @ 5:17 pm
Why am I not surprised, Dan??? !!! I’ll be over in your neck of the woods by Friday. I’ll email you… Trouble maker!!!
Monday, March 25, 2013 @ 10:27 am
Hehehe:)
Sounds great!