THE IN-BETWEEN
We come from humble origins. The type of humble that conjures up a vision of a whiskered chin resting tight against a frail chest, a folded hat, white knuckle gripped at the waist, no eye contact dared. While that mental picture could point to my southern heritage, the “we” I was referring to wasn’t just me, it is us…
We all come from humble origins, the humblest. We don’t have a say if or when our faces sweat in the sun of this planet or teeth chatter in chill on the other side of it, at least for a time. We don’t choose our parents or siblings, and we are dependent on someone to care for us when we can’t; all of us when we’re young, some of us when we’re grey.
The in-between is an illusion…
“You were too dumb or crazy to be scared,” I told him with a chuckle, “But I was scared,” I admitted to my older brother. He laughed as he pondered my thoughts, I could tell by the style of his laugh he was opting for the “crazy’ category, instead of the “dumb” one. He’s right, of course, he’s not dumb, which only leaves one option… Better to laugh I suppose.
“We just didn’t know any better, it’s all we knew,” he explained. It was our world, we were like fireflies caught in a jar, captured by something bigger than us. We weren’t quite as delicate or pretty as the lightning bugs, but almost every bit as subject to the masters of our world… for a time.
It was the late sixties and there were places where violence was a way of life. We lived in one of those places. While racial tension and violence were real, it was only part or the story. The truth is there was violence everywhere and the color of skin or hair, even if it was the same as another person’s, didn’t seem to bring peace. I’ve noticed it still doesn’t.
I didn’t realize at the time we were a unique part of this country’s evolution. I wasn’t old enough to realize that we were a part of the gathering, all members and descendants of the trek by the first few generations of poor folks flocking to urban areas, trying to make a better way for their families.
In hindsight, it’s easy to see it was like speeding cars racing for a one lane finish line. The independent people with the attitude that made this country great would struggle to fall into a civilized set of rules that didn’t match the ones they’d live for generations by in the thickets.
Violence was part of life and real men didn’t run from it. No matter the color of your skin, we had more in common than most folks could know at the time… my dad knew. As a sharecropper he’d worked with and around all kinds of other folks with different colored skin, his dad being half Cherokee may have had something to do with his perspective.
A lot of folks back then were like fighting dogs and roosters, bred to fight and tossed into a cage… that’s when ugly shows up.
Regardless if you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth or a shovel in their hand, we all have choices to make during our in-between. Where we’re born and how we’re reared we can’t change and it will have some impact on our lives one way or the other.
The gift of free will is used to choose our destination. I often wonder if those of us who were born with less… were given more? Sometimes crazy is the closest thing to sane…
Mechelle Jungsten
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 12:22 am
Great read… Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:09 pm
Mechelle! What an honor it is to have leave a comment! Thanks for the fellowship in real life as well!
Bill (cycelguy)
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 4:09 am
having been born in ’52 i was in high school when the violence of racial tension hit its note. It was ugly. I chose not to be involved. I chose to simply avoid the clashes, to stand at a distance and watch former friends fight it out over a raised fist or some other form of defiance. It was sad to watch as sides were drawn, voices raised, fists engaged. Its a choice. You are right.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:12 pm
It really was inevitable in hindsight, everyone was headed for the cities and everyone seemed to be out of their minds! May God open the eyes of His people and pour His love over all of us as our country prays for a renewed relationship with Him. Thanks, Bill.
Lincoln Parks
Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 12:46 pm
So sad Bill. Although not much has changed in some areas. I know it was not good back then.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 5:27 pm
The world will probably always be beset with ignorance and insecurity, the necessary ingredients to get off to a bad start every time… in all aspects of life.
Dan Erickson
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 5:48 am
I was a kid in Baltimore in the late 60s. Talk about tension. I like the takeaway here. Anyone has the ability to make change and do good. I was born with shovel in my hand and now wield a pen. But I’m not afraid to still use the shovel.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:12 pm
I know you’re not afraid to use that shovel, Dan. I respect that about you, deeply I mean. Thanks, brother.
Betty Draper
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 9:26 am
Sometimes crazy is the closest thing to sane…powerful statement Floyd. Never lived with racial tension growing up. Knew about but never faced it till I was an adult and took my first job in St. Louis. Riding a bus to work with those of a different culture was the first time I felt that tension toward me personally because of my white skin. Without knowing me a conclusion was made that I was against the black man or women, that my white skin meant I was part of the ones who enslaved their families long ago or that I did not believe in all things equal under God. I understood fear for I lived with it all of childhood. Lived with someone bigger then me who had power to hurt me and his skin was the same color. I would like to believe we have come a long ways from those times yet I still hear that victim talk from many on TV that brings tension. Only life in Christ can take away a victim mentality or a fear mentality. Only at Calvary do we really stand the same, rich man or poor man, bondman or free. We are never one up the ladder when it comes to salvation, it’s for all. But in this world everyone is trying to get one up on others and playing the victim to get it too. We are our past but it does not have to control our life but it will unless Christ does. It is up to us to color the line between tension with the color blood red for Christ. There is no tension in His ways. I sense I was reading thoughts that have went into a book or going to in the future. Good post brother.
Betty Draper
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 5:01 pm
I still have a shovel in my hand…
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:26 pm
Me too, Betty! It’s an honorable thing to be handy with a shovel I think.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:17 pm
I’m with you, Betty. The foot of the cross is level and we are all of one blood under our Father! It is His power that unites us! We’re all insecure to a degree and in need of His grace and wisdom to see that it is His love and wisdom that sets us free from living the bondage of this flesh.
You indeed are wise, Betty. It is in fact based partially on a manuscript that I’m currently working on. Leave it to you, sister! Can’t hide anything from you! Thanks, Betty.
Sharon
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 10:09 am
Very powerful post, Floyd. I grew up in the suburbs, rather sheltered from some of the *realities* of the world. But even sheltered, the world has a way of encroaching on your peace of mind, or on your resolve to live a *good* life. There is a great battle taking place on the world stage, and in the heavens. We are players in the drama, for God is using us to advance His plot and purposes.
We do indeed come from humble beginnings – the dust of the earth – but because of the sacrifice of a humble Carpenter, we have been promised glory. Might we always remember that every single person we meet was created in the very image of God. And may we treat them accordingly. And, let’s all use that terrible, wonderful gift of free will for the work of spreading God’s Kingdom while we live in the “in-between.”
GOD BLESS!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:19 pm
Well done, sister. You have such a gift to summarize and bring a deeper lesson and a heart warming knack at doing it. Amen, Sharon. Thank you!
Wanda
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 11:26 am
Such a striking piece Floyd. The lines tow lines really stick with me perhaps those with less are given more of things that matters mosts.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:21 pm
Right? We seem to forget that it’s always contrary in our Father’s world! Look at how He brought His Son into this world! The older I get the more I realize the best gifts are the ones that never found me, just the ones I earned, via the hard way, or wisdom from our Father. We’re on the same page, Wanda. Thanks.
Cynthia
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 4:34 pm
This is a thought-provoking post, Floyd. Racial stuff is always hard to talk about, but it’s even harder to live it. And, yes, we still have a long way to go. I was taught to fight only when I had no other choice and that’s exactly what I did. But, you are right about the belief of “never running.” The men in my family didn’t run, but I am sure they were scared as they stood their ground–not that they would admit it. I remember the rallys and sit-ins, but I was so young. But, I had enough sense to know it was serious and people could be hurt. A family friend, Clara Luper, was very active in those times(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clara_Luper). And, you know what? Sometimes crazy really IS the closest thing to sane…and, it’s ALL you recognize or think you have, at the time, in order to deal with the circumstances….
Floyd
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 6:25 pm
Agreed, Cynthia. It truly is a rest and peace to my soul to be at peace with others, and that only comes when we know our Father. The paths that you and your family have had to walk is tough, but God made you, and I can only believe that your family as well, strong, sister. God bless you, Cynthia. Thanks for sharing.
Audra Krell
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 @ 9:57 pm
I’ve lived a roller coaster of socio-economic status. We were upper middle class until I was 14 and then overnight we were bankrupt, my father gone for good. Now we’ve worked hard for every single thing we have, but because of God’s grace, I’m ready to use my spoon as a shovel at any given moment. My desire is to use all I have to help my brothers and sisters, because you’re right, that is the only place peace is found. We have to give it away.
Floyd
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 5:07 pm
Well said, Audra. And thanks for being an inspiration by being the kind of person that lets their actions speak for them, and you do it with such humility. And you don’t even see it… that’s the best part. Thanks, Audra. God bless you and yours, sister.
Hazel Moon
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 12:12 am
Born with less has made us wiser and better to deal with little if that be our lot. God’s blessings have given us much and may it not be squandered and wasted.
I left the fighting to others, but there were times I did get angry. Color was difficult to see, and some of my closest friends are black or Asian, and part Indian too! Great post to cause us to ponder and think. Thanks for allowing me to place your posts on “Tell Me a Story.”
Floyd
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 5:09 pm
Thanks for being the example for others, Hazel. Your heart is pure, sister. And thanks for sharing my posts at your place, Hazel. I’m truly honored to be able to be associated with you, sister.
Rick Dawson
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 12:56 am
Oh, man…what a slow walk down memory lane this one is.
Born in ’53 in California, so Bill was in and out of the sandbox just a bit before me, but on the other side of the world. No matter – we moved. A lot. There’s a song by Mary Chapin Carpenter – title track to the album “Stones In The Road” – that talks about some of these things in a far more poetic way.
I don’t care where you came from – silver spoon or slag heap – are you a friend of God’s or not is the big question. Race, income, personal history? They may shift the starting point for a lot of us, but Ecclesiastes reminds us that all the toys go back in the box and Don Henley reminds us you don’t see no hearses with luggage racks.
Stand for what is right – even if the world (and likely a lot of other “Christians”) think you nuts. You *may* be scared at times – I know I get that way – but the difference it makes in your life to have integrity? Where you can look in the mirror and meet the eyes staring back at you without flinching, or hating the person they see (or the converse of thinking what a sweetheart they behold)? Priceless – kinda like you… 🙂
Floyd
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 5:15 pm
Well I’d say those words were very poetic, Rick. You write like you play the guitar, my friend. Wonderful advice and reminders as well as down right inspirational my friend. Blessings to you and yours, Rick. Thanks for weighing in on this one, brother.
Jason Stasyszen
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 9:10 am
What a miracle it is to have the freedom to choose. I may not like when others encroach on my space or time in a negative way, but what a blessing that we can choose something different. Of course, we have genetics, tradition, and the enemy’s lies that attempt to get us choose wrongly many times, but His love breaks through in the most amazing ways. Good stuff here, Floyd. Thanks so much.
Floyd
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 5:17 pm
That gift of free will is so misunderstood and under estimated by all of us I think, Jason. Good points; the enemy tells lies and works on the pride and insecurity to divide people that are more alike and should be more like family than enemies. Thanks you too, Jason.
Dolly@Soulstops
Thursday, May 29, 2014 @ 10:01 pm
Floyd,
Yeah…I can connect again…just read your three most recent posts….your words make me think about Gladwell’s book, David and Goliath…really enjoy learning more about your story…so many layers 🙂
Floyd
Friday, May 30, 2014 @ 5:25 pm
Glad you got back in, Dolly! I have that book, I just haven’t had the time to read it yet! Thanks, Dolly.
saleslady371
Friday, May 30, 2014 @ 2:03 pm
I grew up in the sixties and was not comfortable with all the rebellion everywhere and I did not know why…lots of searching which led me to Christ. Then each day it all started to become clear. I like the part about not being able to change where we were born but it does have an impact on our lives! I always thought, too, that I was given more because I grew up with less! Thought provoking, Floyd!
Floyd
Friday, May 30, 2014 @ 5:27 pm
I’m sure your wisdom came a lot easier and faster than mine did, Mary! The things the world sells us as the most important things can’t compare to the riches we have within us that can’t be calculated by a number. Thanks, Mary. Always great to hear from you, sister.
Mike
Saturday, May 31, 2014 @ 10:59 pm
I lived on the south side of Chicago in the 60’s and violence was a way of life. Back then we believed our manhood was judged by how tough we were. I’m glad things have changed over time, but some things will always affect us. Your post brought back some memories. Hope all is well with you, Floyd.
Floyd
Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 6:27 am
I’m not surprised, Mike. You can tell with age others who have walked the similar paths. Blessed that they led to our Father. I’m well, hope you and yours are too, my friend. Thanks, Mike.
Lidia
Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 1:10 am
I’ve visited here several times before, and each time, I take with me much food for thought. Our humble origins all refer to our helplessness, and our physical end eventually bring us back to the same level … to dust we return. Our in-between years will be determined by several factors – race, family status, educational attainment, opportunities – but given all that, some will say it still all boils down to a matter of one’s attitude. Definitely so. But I still choose to believe in divine favor – some seem to have more, others less of it. Why so, only in eternity will be find out. And, yes, our freedom of choice will determine where we get to spend the rest of our lives. In that, we all end up equal. And there is a sovereign wise God who sits on the throne. In the end, no matter how uneven the scales have been in this life, He will even up the score.
Lincoln Parks
Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 12:49 pm
At this point I think I have 3 or 4 shovels in my hands trying to dig in all aspects. However, your end point is correct. It does not matter what you were given or not, (or perceived to be given) we must all make decisions that are in line with Humility.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 5:28 pm
With you completely, Lincoln. Big surprise! Thanks, brother.
Hazel Moon
Monday, June 2, 2014 @ 6:33 pm
Although I realize you are taking some time off – Please complete your “assignment” and hurry back. Thank you for sharing your wonderful post with us here at “Tell Me a Story.” At: http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 5:50 pm
I’m back in the saddle, Hazel! It’s good to be back, and thanks for sharing my post over at your wonderful site!
Cheryl Smith
Monday, June 2, 2014 @ 7:49 pm
What a beautiful, heart-felt post, Floyd! It made me think of the poem called, “The Dash” that speaks about what we do between the date of our birth and the date of our death. God help us to make a positive, Christlike difference…showing love and dispelling the hate at every given opportunity. Thank you for sharing what God laid on your heart…so happy I stopped by.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 5:54 pm
Thanks so much, Cheryl. I’ll have to find that poem, you’re right, all the other stuff just gets in the way of what’s really important. Glad you stopped by, thanks, Cheryl.
Shandra White Harris
Tuesday, June 3, 2014 @ 7:04 pm
Excellent and insightful, as usual. Comingto you from TELL ME A TRUE STORY link up.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 6:10 pm
Thanks for popping over, Shandra. And thanks for the kind words, much appreciated coming from you, sister.
Loren Pinilis
Wednesday, June 4, 2014 @ 5:11 pm
The story of our life only really makes sense in the future. In the present, we just live in what seems like the mundane.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 6:03 pm
Good thoughts, Loren. We have to trust and live by faith, but it gets easier as we get older after having seen all the times our Father uses our lives for His perfect purpose and grace. Good call, Loren. Thanks!
Micah
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 1:02 pm
Now this is really something. I was having pretty much this exact conversation just a few hours ago with one of my best friends. We’ve known each other since we were kids and so were reminiscing about our backgrounds and how we grew up and how many people we knew during that time who are now either in jail, recently out of jail, or dead. We were like… ‘how on earth did we not end up there?’ In the end we talked about the choices we’d made, some good, some bad, and how everyone has that capacity to wield some degree of influence over the events and outcomes that shape their life. In the end though I found myself thinking of the sentiment of this here blog ‘… there go I.’ Nothing says it better than that. We were fortunate to make good choices at times when we were too young and stupid to even know they were good. Truth is when I think back on the childhood friends I lost (something I’ve been thinking about a lot today. I share a birthday – which is today – with one of those friends who died in a shooting when we were both 16. And last week was the anniversary of another friend who was killed in a stabbing when we were 22), the only thing I can say is ‘but for the grace of God, there go I.’ It helps me value the blessings I have. My wife, my health etc. Because all of it is temporal, and all of it can change in a moment. It’s a cliche I know but it really is so important for all of us to make the most of every day, every breath, because as corny as it sounds it really is a gift. Anyway, apologies for the ramble, it’s just the timing of reading this. Great post Floyd.
Floyd
Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
Brother, you can ramble as much as suits you, and that will suit me just fine. You have tremendous wisdom and humility in which anyone else can gain some for themselves. I think that’s how our Father planned it. You see things the way I see things, the way our Father would have us to see things… and your life experiences bring so much credibility and authority. God has a plan, glad to see His working in your life, my friend. God bless you, Micah.
Dolly@Soulstops
Saturday, June 7, 2014 @ 10:43 am
Floyd,
You had me at “whiskered chin”…thanks for taking me down memory lane with you as I got to vicariously experience and imagine what life was like for you …thank you 🙂
Floyd
Tuesday, June 10, 2014 @ 5:48 pm
Glad to have you along, Dolly. Always a pleasure, sister. Thank you.