THE FRONT POCKET OF MY HEART
His face had changed, he wasn’t so carefree the second time I studied him. Although it was a long time ago, I remember him like he’s part of me now. He turned out to be a life lesson for me. Now, wherever I go – he goes with me. My mom pulled him out of time like a note to carry with me, and tucked him into the front pocket of my heart and patted it twice to make sure he stayed there.
It was the late sixties in southern California. While I was just a tyke, I knew the world was not a perfect place. They called it civil unrest, some called it a fight for equal rights. I was just scared… We lived in a lower-income area where blacks and whites were forced to live together by destiny, or what I would come to understand as the hand of God.
Violence was a way of life even among the same colored skin groups and someone else’s pain was just a part of life, along with a good dose of my own. The reality of life calloused all the young hearts.
I was squirming in the front passenger seat of our old Plymouth in the middle of a blistering summer as we pushed up the steep grade headed east out of the Coachella Valley with the windows down; poor folks air conditioning. My mom who had grown up in the desert knew more than a few tricks to get worn out and temperamental clunkers across a scorching desert.
Before our old Plymouth began to overheat, my mom turned the heater on full blast to help dissipate heat off the big V-8. I’m not sure how she kept her foot on the accelerator in those pre-cruise control days: mine were on the dashboard as far away from the floorboard inferno as possible.
I was shocked when a long black Caddy began to pass us – a rare occasion for my heavy footed mother. Three African-American men slowly pulled along side talking and laughing – generally having a good time as they motored along. It felt like losing… I appreciated nice cars and I studied it and them carefully as they passed us by. They naturally felt like my enemies for all the wrong reasons…
The young men weren’t too far ahead of us as we made our way through the desert furnace when smoke began to billow from under their hood. The calloused world in our rear view mirror and my nature didn’t like getting passed by anybody and the ugly monster I didn’t quite yet know by name – jealousy had reared its ugly head… it knew I wanted a better car…
“Ha! – That’s what he gets!” I laughed and sneered with delight at the pain of another as we passed them while they were pulling over. The driver’s new expression showed anxiety, doubt, fear, and stress… Things I already knew quite well even as kid. “Why would you say that? – That could just as easily be us… I feel bad for them.” My mom said in disappointment.
I slowly began to see myself in the driver’s eyes.
What a gift; to be a passenger in the school of life with Godly principles. I’ll continue to carry that lesson my mom slipped into the front pocket of my heart…
I pull it out every now and then to see the stubble on the face and the pain in the eyes of the man who reflected mine…
Lynn Morrissey
Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 5:46 pm
Floyd, how you ever remember all these wonderful stories (true!) to tell, I will never know. I remember so little of my childhood. You remember not just the story, but the lesson that went along with them. So you have learned your lessons well. We can all get envious, and perhaps the best antidotes to that are to compliment others, pray for them, champion their successes, and to use our own gifts, remembering that God expects each of us to serve, in the way in which He has created us. I think you do that beautifully through your vivid, memorable, and meaningful writing. Who knows…….maybe those sojourners will even find your words here. And as for as races and gifts and all manner of people, we’re really not so different after all and should show compassion as your mother suggested. Thanks for unwrapping that message that you wear close to your heart, so we could all take a peek!
Blessings,
Lynn
Floyd
Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 6:15 pm
It’s crazy, but even as I type I can see his young face, the stubble, and the fear. My little victory was short lived as my mom taught me a lesson that is with me still. Often when I see and old Cadillac I think of that young man. I agree, now, when I see someone with nice things I’m truly happy for them, especially if they don’t define the person. I’m glad to share the note that I carry next to my heart with you, Lynn. Bless you and thanks.
Barb Raveling
Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 6:06 pm
I love the way you tell stories, Floyd. Your mom sounds wise and kind. I’ll have to remember that trick if I’m ever driving across the desert!
Floyd
Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 6:17 pm
Thanks, Barb. I can’t even count the number of trips we made across the desert from CA to AZ when I was a kid… man was it boring and hot! Air conditioning is appreciated these days! My mom is wise and has a huge heart and she’ll appreciate your kind words when she reads this!
Hazel Moon
Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 9:59 pm
It is a wonderful heritage to have a mother who teaches us right from wrong and uses something that happens to enforce it. Your mother still teaches you even today! It is such a blessing that you can still honor her at times with a visit.
Floyd
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 10:44 am
My mom is a blessing and has a wonderful heart. I’ve considered the fact that if not for my parents sent from God, I’d be so far out of His conviction. And I have a blast with my mom, she’s young at heart and has a great perspective on life. Thanks, Hazel.
Audra Krell
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 8:32 am
Well told/written story Floyd. I was right there with you. But most important, is the takeaway for the reader and there is a huge payoff here. This story is rich with life lessons, inspiration and compassion. You became a part of that man’s community that day and look how strong the bonds! You’re still together in spirit and I daresay the Floyd I know would not only be sympathetic now, but would give everything he’s got to help a brother or sister in need. What a blessing to have such a godly mother.
Floyd
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 10:48 am
I am blessed indeed, Audra. And those lessons from our Father started at home with both my mom and dad. I also think that God calls us to give to who is in need. If our Father isn’t short on spiritual or material things within the right perspective, how can we be? I’ve been richly blessed from the inside out… Funny how much easier it is to recognize with time… Thanks, Audra.
Betty Draper
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 7:18 pm
Time does have a way of helping us take an honest look at the past, others and ourselves. How blessed you are to have those memories to draw upon brother. Great lesson gleamed from them to be passed on to others, especially your girls. Great post Floyd.
Floyd
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 7:34 pm
I do feel blessed to remember the things that still teach me decades removed… My girls have the hearts beyond mine… Thank God literally. Thank you, Betty.
Chuck Allen
Sunday, May 19, 2013 @ 7:45 pm
Wow. What a great lesson from your mom!
Floyd
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:55 am
It’s the instant life lessons that stick with us the longest isn’t it? Thanks, Chuck.
Dan Erickson
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 4:56 am
Great post, Floyd, and a lesson we all need to learn. I’m sure I’ve done something similar. How do you remember all these stories from your childhood? Man, I might have to start digging more, back to my pre-cult days in Maine and Maryland.
Floyd
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:57 am
They are with me literally all the time. And the images are burned into my mind like it was just yesterday. Besides, it’s pretty hard to forget driving in around 120 degrees with the heat on full blast! Thanks, Dan.
Jay Cookingham
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 10:11 am
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish Proverb
What a blessing to have such a picture that is connected to a wonderful example of the Father’s heart. Thanks brother!
Floyd
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 5:13 pm
Thanks, Jay. I like that Spanish Proverb. I’ll have to try to remember that… although those type of things aren’t near as easy as the memories like this one from my childhood. A blessing indeed.
Lincoln Parks
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:34 pm
What an awesome but subtle lesson to learn there. We have all be faced with those little victories in our hearts from time to time, and for me still to this day. Those battles are not the one’s I want to win. I want to win in a different manner. Thanks for sharing this message floyd, we all need to tuck that message into our front pockets.
Floyd
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:47 pm
I’m with you, Lincoln. Winning is actually having compassion for all of God’s creation without condemnation for material things they might have that we don’t. It seems like a subtle lesson, but it was so deep that it’s with me more today, certainly the understanding of it, than it was then. It’s a beautiful lesson to keep tucked into the front pockets of our hearts. Thanks, Lincoln.
Hazel Moon
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:40 pm
Thank you for sharing your story at “Tell Me a True Story.” I always enjoy your stories !!
http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Floyd
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 6:48 pm
Thanks, Hazel! I always honored to be able to share my stories over at your wonderful site; “Tell Me a True Story!”
Kristin
Monday, May 20, 2013 @ 7:53 pm
Thank you again Floyd, for another wonderful story with a wonderful message. I’m always right there in the story as you tell it:) I’m told that’s the mark of a good writer. I hope to be that some day.
Blessings to you~
Floyd
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 @ 6:49 am
Thanks, Kristin. The stories of our childhoods are the easiest to relate to I think, I know they are for me, so I just choose that trail to reiterate the lesson. And when you share the stories of your heart; you are a great writer…
tcavey
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 @ 1:54 pm
Awe…lessons from childhood.
I wonder if today’s kids learn such lessons, I’m sure they do, but still I wonder…
So many things have changed in our world yet so much remains the same. We are all human, we all have fears, pride, jealousy, etc and we all need the Saviors undeserving love.
Floyd
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 @ 5:43 pm
Very well said, TC. I think we have the next generation follow the rules, but I’m not sure they get the depth of the truth in the lessons. “Undeserving love…” We all fall into that category. If only we could all learn that lesson, the foot of the cross is level… Thanks, TC.
Dea
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 3:22 pm
Gives me hope in my role as a mother that I am giving my kids lessons to put in their heart pockets. Maybe I won’t really know until they are a little further down the road? Great story, Floyd.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 6:06 pm
You may not know the exact lessons they’ll carry, but we know they will carry the lessons of a Godly mother in all the pockets of their souls…. with gratitude. Thanks for stopping by, Dea. I’ll catch up with you.
Mary
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 3:25 pm
What a great lesson Floyd! This is my first time here; I’ll be back. I’m your neighbor at Jennifer’s place. I think I saw your face at Michelle DeRusha’s last week…sorry it took me so long to get here. This is a place worth visiting.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 6:08 pm
Thanks for stopping by, Mary. I appreciate you stopping over, I’ll drop by your place to borrow a cup of sugar or half gallon of wisdom. I’ve heard you always have extra in your pantry!
Mia
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 3:55 pm
Dear Floyd
This description of you and your mom in the car sounds like one that I am quite familiar with! My hubbie can be very impatient with bac-mannered drivers. For some reason I am never successful in convincing him that giving the guys that irritates him on the road, the evil eye just puts him in the same league!! I just love your mom. A lady with wisdom.
Much love
Mia
Mia
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 3:56 pm
Sorry, Floyd, it is bad-mannered!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
I knew what you meant! You know what they say about great minds!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
Awe thanks, Mia. You would love my mom! You and her have some similarities… although I never did surf! She had her hands full with me, my sister and my two big brothers, but never passed up on the opportunity to pass along a Godly lesson… Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
Jillie
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 7:34 am
“What a gift; to be a passenger in the school of life with Godly principles”. Well said, Floyd. Your Mom was wise to take every opportunity to teach grace and compassion toward others, even those we deem deserving of the troubles they get. My husband has a real problem with this very thing. He lets other drivers ‘get to him’ all the time. Like those who whiz by him on snowy, icy roads in winter here. He often says that if he saw those same reckless drivers in a ditch up ahead, he would honk and wave, but NOT stop to help. It disturbs me when I hear him talk this way.
I love your memories and how you have gleaned from them to this very day. Some of us aren’t so quick as you. :]
Floyd
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 11:14 am
Oh, I’m not so sure I’d be considered a quick learner! Unfortunately I’ve had to learn some lessons more times than I can count on my fingers and toes! I understand your husband, I can be that way, especially if the people are putting others in harms way. My guess is that if he did see them stranded, he’d swallow his aggravation and go fish em’ out of a tough spot… That’s just how we vent sometimes. My mom most definitely has lived her life by “the golden rule.” Thanks, Jillie. The snow should be melting soon!
Jillie
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 3:59 pm
Oh Floyd, you, the American who lives in such a warm place. There’s no snow here anymore! Granted, our winter this year was longer than usual, but we haven’t had snow in about a month and a half! It isn’t always cold here in Canada, as many people believe. Why, just yesterday, we were sweltering in 30 degree (Celsius) weather! That’s about 90 Fahrenheit. With a humidity level that made it feel like 32 degrees!
Floyd
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 4:58 pm
Wow. It’s not much hotter than that here! But there’s not much in the way of humidity down here… Just a lot of hot air from wanna be writers!
sandra
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 9:42 am
Thanks for sharing. The story and your mom’s wisdom are burned into your memory to continually learn from and share with others….like us!
Floyd
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 11:15 am
My mom’s wisdom along with my dad’s is definitely burned into my memory. Thanks for stopping by to share it with me, Sandra!
jdukeslee
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 9:55 am
Great storytelling. And as always, a great lesson for us, Floyd. (I also like the Spanish proverb mentioned above in the comments.) 🙂
Floyd
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 12:24 pm
Thanks, Jennifer. And yeah, I thought that was a great proverb as well. Now if I can just remember it!
Loren Pinilis
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 10:15 am
It’s really twisted the way we get so jealous and competitive sometimes. We’re all about ministering to the poor and the downtrodden, but how come we often ignore the rich and the successful?
Floyd
Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 12:30 pm
Great point, Loren! We think we buy into the concept of the world that because someone may have more that it makes them more. Too often they are the ones in the most need! Excellent point and points, Loren. Thanks.
Joanne Norton
Tuesday, May 28, 2013 @ 3:56 pm
I understand. Could apply it to various cultural situations, both here and far away… my heart not responding in a perfectly “God-focused” fashion.
BTW, when going across CA [LA and miles and miles east] back in ’93, mid-summer, and no A.C. in our car, and the heat was horrific for me, the way I made it through was to get water on big bath towels, and just cover me from neck to feet. At least I wasn’t the driver, so had a chance to get COLDer than my husband would be able to. We made it to southern Utah later than day and in a nearby stop place dropped the temp about 30 degrees. Could breathe that night. The next day was horrible again. Glad you made it in those past years… we’re so spoiled with AC!
Floyd
Tuesday, May 28, 2013 @ 5:57 pm
We are so spoiled, aren’t we? It’s funny the best lessons and memories don’t come from the comforts of life, but from the reality of tough times… When will we learn?… Glad you made it through and you’ll have AC for your summer road trip! Thanks, Joanne.