THE FLESH IS WEAK
I immediately looked for her reaction in her eyes. Would she be scared? Embarrassed? Surprised? Disappointed…? Of all the places for it to happen, at church had to be the worst. Not so much for me, but for my fourteen-year-old daughter walking out of church with her peers. It would certainly be a test.
As she walked toward the car, I could see the flashing lights reflecting on her face in the falling dusk. I quickly locked eyes with my youngest, knowing she’d be searching for answers. I gave her my barely amused “look” mixed with my slightly aggravated one.
I have to give my daughter credit, even before she could get a read on the scenario, she continued to move toward the awkward scene – toward me – the one in the center of the uncomfortable scenario.
As church got out and everyone walked toward the parking lot, they all stared at her and me both. I had the windows rolled down, not caring to hide the sins of my daughter’s father. My youngest climbed into the car beside me still self-conscious, “You’re late,” I casually mentioned to her.
“Yeah, they kept us a little late… What did you do?” she asked.
“What do you think?” I answered her with a question.
As the lights flashed on the side of her face and reflected off my face through the rear view mirror she answered, “Speeding.” She knows me too well.
We waited for the cop to finish running my license and writing me a ticket while we blocked traffic parked in the exit crosswalk and the police car right behind me with his blue and red lights now piercing the almost completely black night. “How come you were speeding?” she asked. “I didn’t think I was,” I answered, “I guess the speed limit drops to 40 in front of the fire station.”
As the officer about half my age handed me the ticket and informed me of my rights I looked straight ahead, waiting as politely as possible for him to finish a declaration I probably knew as well as he. When the young man began to speak to me in a condescending manner, explaining to me the dangers of speeding, I looked over at my daughter with that same slightly amused mixed with aggravated “look.”
She knows me too well… She knew exactly what I was thinking. I took the ticket never looking back up at the officer as I rolled up my window. As I drove off, probably a little faster than I should have, a couple of things dawned on me that I shared with my little one, “I didn’t even think about it being the last day of the month!” She didn’t respond. I glanced at her again, “You did good, babe… I thought you’d be more upset.”
“Naw – I wasn’t too surprised,” she said with a soft honesty… The ticket? I could care less… My daughter? I couldn’t care more… She’s learning the sad truth that the flesh is weak. It hurts to see it in her eyes… And the reflection of it being me in the blue and red flashing lights…
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 3:28 am
Sounds like she knows you all too well. 🙂
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:07 am
Unfortunately you’re right, Bill!
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:55 am
Hey Floyd…Good post! I understand only too well about ‘being a fallen human’ in front of my kids. A wise man by the name of James Dobson once taught me that it is of crucial importance to be real and honest with our kids. To admit mistakes (and sins) and to be humble before them when we have messed up and done wrong. Apology is paramount to their seeing us as needing forgiveness just as much as they do. This way they know we are human too. I taught this important principle to my husband, who struggles ego-wise, and he has also found it to be freeing. I’m not saying you don’t know all this already, because I’m sure you do. Kids know more than we give them credit for sometimes. They know us. The truest words ever spoken to me have often come from the lips of my sweet, but direct, daughter. 😀
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:20 pm
That’s a great point, Jillie. I’ve had to apologize more than a few times to my kids. I coached the older girls for all their years in high school… Need I say more? I’ve always had a heavy foot, but don’t get tagged as much as I used to. That one in front of church was a tough lesson for the both of us. Thanks for sharing, Jillie. A good reminder is needed. Keeps me on my toes!
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 9:07 pm
Jillie, I’m so glad you dropped by. I told you that you would love Floyd’s writing!
Lynni
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:38 pm
You are to good to me. Bless you, sister.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 2:17 pm
Heavy sigh. So hard to deal with everyday reality. Sounds like your daughter does pretty well. When I think of my Twin granddaughters who are mid-15 now, and know how often their step-dad had speeding tickets, and their eye-rolling issue about it, they handled it better than I would. [Matt was stopped 3 times on his motorcycle with my daughter and her kids in the van near him, all on one day’s drive in about 100 miles. Matt was stubborn; it cost money and time. He’s better now.] ANYHOW, I ain’t perfect. On my trips, I’m usually a couple miles over speed-limits. BUT since my license plate focuses on the Lord, I have to be good or I’ll be embarrassed. Sometimes, just as you said, seeing the speed limit change can be a surprise and I’m not paying enough attention. Trying now. Don’t have enough money for it, if nothing else. [My daughter, who is an OT, and goes to resting homes and many other small hospitals covering about 500 miles a day, 5 days a week, the police know her well. Mostly now, b/c they know she’s just trying to get to a hospital to help someone, they just let her go. The roads are USUALLY on the side, not on the I-state, so they are more flexible.]
Sorry to yammer so long, but you’re stuck with me.
And, again, glad your daughter did so well. Embarrassed by being with her friends from church and having a “bad dad” can hit their social hearts pretty hard.
Blessings.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:24 pm
Exactly, Joanne. Kids her age can be so sensitive about what others think. I can’t say I was any different. All you can do sometimes is hold your head up and take it on the chin. I thought I was bad! Your hubby makes me feel a little better! We’re all weak in one way or another… some of in many ways! Loved the rambling from your heart, feels like home. Thanks Joanne.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 8:49 pm
Just a little confusion. My son-in-law gets lots of tickets. My husband? NEVER! He always stays right on the speed limit. Twenty years ago, he might be 5 miles over if we were on the interstate going a long way, but now? NO! Said the Lord has laid it on him to always be w/in the speed limit. He’s better than I am! I don’t “speed”… but I don’t necessarily stay exactly on the dot.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:32 pm
And I was feeling better about myself… Just kidding. I’ll use that as encouragement! Thanks, Joanne.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 3:04 pm
You were making me nervous there for a few minutes. 🙂
Well, you never know: getting a ticket for speeding in the presence of your daughter might make such a big impression on her that she won’t speed herself. And the way you handled it with such grace also speaks volumes; you didn’t blame the police officer or the situation or any number of things. You took it like a man. Those things add up in the eyes of a daughter. And a friend. Thanks for sharing this story, Floyd.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:30 pm
Thanks, Lisa. I guess I didn’t think about it in those terms, but you’re right. God knows what He’s doing, even if He uses my weakness to make a point. You really know how to pick a brother up! Thanks again, Lisa!
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 5:42 pm
Reminds me of my dad. He got stopped plenty of times. I don’t remember ever being embarrassed about it, it was just dad.
Thanks so much for Guest Posting for me today. God bless.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:33 pm
I’m telling you, our dads were cut from the exact same mold. What a blessing. I was never embarrassed by my dad getting pulled over either, but it didn’t happen at church at my daughters age either!
I’m honored to guest post for you, TC. I’ll be linking it up for my post tomorrow night. Praying for you and the family. God bless you too, my friend.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 10:49 am
Yeah, happening in front of church would be more embarrassing. Seems she handled it well!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:41 pm
She did. Only God knows how many lessons he doled out in that parking lot that night!
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:06 pm
Yeah, we can try our best to hide all those imperfections, but they seem to always find a way to shine through to our kids. Scarier thing is when I see those same imperfections coming through my oldest. He shouldn’t have to deal with all that! 🙂 thanks Floyd.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:35 pm
Boy, that’s the truth, Jason… Who we are is all too real to our family. I do think them seeing us lean on our Father to heal the weaknesses does something for them. I know my dad’s humility did wonders for me… Just wish it would have caught on a little sooner. Thanks, Jason.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
Oh Me Of My – but life happens. Sorry to embarrase your daughter. By now she probably knows that parents are human. This is a great story!
Thanks for sharing it at: Tell Me a Story at:
http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 6:36 pm
Thanks, Hazel! And thanks for not judging your weak and heavy footed friend! Thanks for letting me share it at your wonderful site.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:16 pm
OK bro’….now I know we were separated at birth. I got a speeding ticket last month! But I was alone at least….anyways, I appreciate the honesty and the sharing of your heart…we are better for it.
BTW, I got my ticket reduced from 20 over to 1 mile over…must be my innocent look! 😉
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:46 pm
Why am I not surprised?! I’ll bet you could teach the traffic school by now! Thanks for making me feel better, old friend. I was impressed how my daughter handled it. But… I didn’t get mine reduced… I think the guy liked getting me in the church parking lot. Next time I’m telling them that I know you… If that doesn’t work, I’ll tell them I know Lambo and Chop!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 1:16 pm
LOL…Lambo and Chop might you thrown out but not your ticket!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:43 pm
What? Are you kiddin’ me? Those guys are studs! They got mad pull! Get it, mad pull? I’m such an loser! I can’t imitate the man!
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:20 pm
Oh, the iron foot:)They are always on the look out toward the end of the month.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 7:48 pm
I know! I used to me sharper! I used to have built in radar… no more. I guess there’s a lesson from God in all things if we’re looking for them, Dan. Thanks, man.
Monday, January 14, 2013 @ 9:06 pm
I love the humility of this post, Floyd. What a great lesson for your daughter, both in not speeding :-), and also in admitting when you’re wrong. Actually, I have to tell you, I believe it when you say you didn’t think you were speeding. I had had a lead foot till Sheridan was born, and then, carrying my “precious cargo” in the car, I slowed down dramatically. So when a cop pulled me over a couple of years ago, I was shocked. I had NO idea I was speeding. The outer road ran right alongside the highway, and I think I was gradually accelerating without even realizing it, keeping pace with highway traffic that I was about to enter. (At least that is my excuse! 🙂 But on a more serious note, pertinent to your post, nearly a year ago now, my daughter read on the Internet in an interview that I had had an abortion. She and her girlfriend came to me immediately, and Sheridan told me that someone was spreading terrible lies about me, because she knew I would never do such a thing. I stalled, and waited till her friend left, and then I had a monumental decision to make. Would I tell my dauther the truth? It was true, but she had never known about the precious child whose life I took so many years ago, long before she was born. God had forgiven me and had dramatically healed me from the guilt and pain of the abortion, but how I dreaded sharing this with Sheridan. I felt she would surely hate me, because she knew how much her father and I are against abortion. I knew that I would have to tell her someday, but that day had never come. I was too mortified to tell her. But God had other plans. Through tears and faltering, I told her about my heinous sin, and how sorry I was. I told her the truth at last. And I cannot begin to tell you how the Lord set me free once again. Sheridan was so incredibly loving, understanding, and accepting and reacted just the opposite of what I had feared. She also understands the horrors of my decision and it is my prayer that this will help her never to make the same mistake. Confessing my sinfulness to my daughter now finally frees me to tell the truth more publicly should God ever ask that of me. I didn’t mean to wax so long here, but I thank you for your honesty, and hope that by my being honest as well, some reader out there will do the same with his or her child. Thank you Floyd for being such a wonderful Dad, excellent author, and passionate Christ-follower!
Lynn
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:37 pm
Wow. That is powerful, Lynn. It’s fascinating how God can use our mistakes to teach and keep our children from making the same mistakes. You have a powerful witness in your redemption. Most of us do. You’re just one of the few to share it publicly to honor our Father. Your book is a lightening rod for Christ. I can’t wait to share it with everyone.
I used to have a motorcycle. After my little one was born I knew I’d pressed my luck to far. I never rode it again or any other one after that. God tells us somethings aren’t negotiable.
Thanks for sharing your heart. That’s the stuff that changes lives. Thanks for sharing your book to help change mine.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:07 am
Times like these are awkward but they do show our children the benefit of taking your lumps. Sometimes things just go haywire.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:39 pm
Lumps is a great way to put it, Loren. When we live with honor even in mistakes it goes a long way. Excellent point.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 7:34 am
That is a tough and humiliating place to be in, and trust me I’ve been there many times so you and I have that in common also. I too really let my temperature boil and its hard to control those emotions at the time. Its easy to reflect afterward, but our actions speak louder than any word. I understand all too well where you are coming from, your an awesome man of God.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:41 pm
Thanks, Lincoln. You and I are two peas in a pod! It cracks me up all that we share… and yeah, no big surprise that I’ve battled that temper thing for a big part of my life. Iron sharpens iron, brother!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 4:37 pm
You know what guilt I live with?? Running out of gas in the drive through with my son, while getting him a burger after football practice. Some of his friends in the drive thru, also! He never batted an eye or complained and that made me all the more guilty after he complied when I informed him of what had just happened and that I needed him to get out of the car and push me and the car out of the lane. That was probably 9 or maybe 10 years ago but when I think about it, I still feel so bad about it as if it had happened yesterday. He was such a trooper, too. 🙂
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 5:44 pm
That’s a great story! Those are the stories that turn into a heritage! Your son’s actions didn’t happen by chance. Nice job, mom!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 7:41 pm
Man, it’s tough being human. My wife has the same illness that you do called “Lead Foot” 🙂 Unfortunately there’s no antibiotic for it. 🙂 I’m just amazed my wife hasn’t gotten a ticket. It’s been a long time since I’ve been pulled over, by my children are well aware of my weaknesses, faults, as well as, my past. It’s not always easy letting those you treasure see your less than superhero side, but eventually they learn that we’re just doing the best we can with what we have. I appreciate your honesty, and your story telling.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 5:07 pm
Thanks, Mike. You nailed that dead center, “We’re just doing the best we can with what we have.” The honesty part will be a great trait to pass on. We aren’t perfect, but we’re forgiven and we’re striving. That’s as good as we can do. The great things God does through us are often the things that we don’t even realize. Thanks, Mike.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013 @ 11:31 pm
We sometimes operate on a super-human mentality, especially Christians. Pointing fingers and being overly judgmental. It’s said we should be careful not to fall, if we think we are standing strong.
What I learn from this story is that our own fallen state teaches us to be more understanding especially to those who we perceive as unforgiveable and to learn from other’s mistakes. We don’t necessary have to fall into the same pit if we learn the lessons.
Thanks for sharing Floyd – we are human after-all living in God’s grace.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 5:09 pm
Well said, Maureen. It is all about God’s grace. When I was younger my arm and hand would jump to attention to point… not so much anymore. Even the worst of things I stop and ponder what it is that may have brought a person to be where they are. I’m more interested now in mercy, not justice… Thanks, Maureen, great point.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 11:18 am
Oh, wow…you write with such transparency. Thank you for that, Floyd! It truly blesses my heart. You are so real…which is so refreshing. Loved this post.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013 @ 5:15 pm
Thank you, Diane. And thanks for always lifting me and others up. You are such a gifted encourager. Bless you, sister!
Thursday, January 17, 2013 @ 2:57 pm
They learn from us – what to do and what not to do. I’m still embarrassed at a reaction my kids saw from me when they were little, and they love to remind me of what I did. Thankfully, they learned what NOT to do. Thanks for being transparent – parent.
Thursday, January 17, 2013 @ 5:44 pm
Good point, Mary. God uses us to teach them one way or the other… I really struggle with the ones when I’m the negative example… We all have our stories in this fallen world. Glad our good outweighs our bad. Thanks, Mary.