THE BLURTER AND THE BLABBER MOUTH

image courtesy of photobucket.com

I knew the risks but took them anyway… The grim reality of the consequence was very sobering. As I sat there depressed, waiting for the other risk takers to get registered, it dawned on me… “At least this should be good for one of my posts”!

It was a stretch, but that was looking at the glass half full, or taking a lemon and making lemonade out of it, or making the best of a ba- Oh, you get the idea…

It’s always amusing to take a bunch of strangers and put them in a room at close quarters. Over the course of the biggest part of a day you can learn a lot about people. So I did that day, just like the scads of other times I’ve had the pleasure of attending traffic school.

Similar to when I was a kid, given a choice, I headed straight for the back row. Also similar to school, the women gravitated to the front rows. When in a setting like that, it doesn’t take long to find out who the most insecure of the poor saps attending are.

The most insecure are the ones who need to be recognized, one way or the other. You know; the ones that insist on sharing their personal stories with the rest of the trapped people who make up their audience, regardless if we want to hear them or not.

These testers of my and the rest of my fellow law breaker’s patience, who desire to get through the material and day as quick as possible, are also the ones who ask the dumbest questions.

In truth, I could be extra bored due to the mastery of the material being shared. I’ve attended so many traffic schools I could teach it blindfolded with both hands tied behind my back.

I know the material so well a couple of things popped out at me that day. One of them was the fact that this guy taught that you had to pull over for emergency vehicles even on a divided street… Huh… That’s the exact opposite of all the other boring classes I’ve endured taught.

Another fact that he left out of his punishing class was the fact that in our state, where it is a law to wear seat belts, if a person doesn’t and dies in an accident, a life insurance company can and will dispute a payout. Oh yeah, I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. Sadly, that was the only reason I started wearing my seat belt seven or eight years ago.

Did I say anything to the instructor? Of course not! Any real veteran of traffic school knows you keep your mouth shut, otherwise you’ll be there longer. Yes, there was a time in younger years when I’d get the attention of the insecure blabber mouth, who is 95% of the time male and look at him and hold my index finger in the center of my pursed lips when the instructor had his or her back to us. The hot air would magically vanish…

Of course there is always the blurter. They too are usually male and seek to make others laugh. Sure, I’ll admit I wanted to laugh that day in traffic school when the blurter suggested the blabber mouth be given a sobriety test… but I stick to the rules of a veteran of the school of traffic. I only let out a snicker…

In the end, my heart goes out to the other people I share the pavement that connects each and everyone reading this, along with my classmates. Like that pavement, our bloodline connects us. We are all weak. We are all in need.

I emptied my pockets of the pride and arrogance as I left the room that day… Maybe it will help me to never step foot inside of another traffic school… Then again I’m insecure… Just in different ways than the blabber mouth and the blurter. Truth is, mine’s probably worse…