THE ART OF DEPRESSION
“I don’t know why I’m crying?” she said, chuckling through the tears. I knew, “Nothin’ wrong with that – shows your heart,” I said kindly to one of the women who loves me unconditionally, “Trust me, I get it, mom.” They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I for one wouldn’t argue with that old adage, at least not anymore.
My mom has a caring heart and gets emotionally charged at the injustices of life. As fired up as she can get, her heart cracks, fills her soul, and overflows her eyes at the reality of this fallen world as it manifests itself in so many ugly ways.
I find comfort in the words of Christ from the Beatitudes, (specifically Matt. 5:3-12). And I think there are more than a few folks that fall into the category of “Poor in spirit.”
The holidays and winter months rest on the shoulders of those who are prone to be poor in spirit, or depressed and draped in the cloud like a jacket worn to fight back the cold. For those prone to melancholy, we know that any of the senses can trigger the trip down the slippery slope to poor in spirit.
The eyes can capture an old house, snow, a picture, a million different things. The touch of a hot cup of coffee in the right setting, a soft blanket, sometimes the melancholy sneaks in through our fingers. The smell of a burning fireplace in the distance, a meal from days gone by, the mental sunset can waft in through our nostrils. And one of my all time favorites; the sound of anything like a song that our spirits can hitch a ride on the musical notes to a place of desperate desolation…
Knowing the sights, sounds, touch, and scents that send us to a place of being poor in spirit to a degree that’s unhealthy, is the art of depression. Having the discernment and strength to know how much sadness to let into our soul is a practice of wisdom from God above. A little is good, compassion, sympathy, and empathy for others is what were called to.
When we begin to use those gifts on ourselves they become weapons of the enemy, in my opinion. Grieving and having compassion and sympathy for ourselves is a recipe for disaster. For me, that’s been the worst time and depths of depression in my life. No wonder scripture warns us, “Think less of yourself…”
It is a fight for balance in our souls. (I’m not referring to the ones who have chemical imbalances that medication is a gift from God) God designed us with an instinct to survive, but being created in His image gives us the strength to live above it.
For those who tend toward melancholy and depression know that we will have tough times, trips through “The valley of the shadow of death,” but we know seeking His will and face will deliver us to the other side of the valley and up high on the mountain where He’s chosen to demonstrate His sovereignty and grace.
A trip through that valley without Him will ensure being trapped there like the Israelites were trapped in the desert. If you’ve been in the valley with tears and pain from a long winter living the art of depression, come with me. Leave your broken self there, our spirits are called to rise up!
The view is beautiful up there. Remember?
Sunday, March 30, 2014 @ 6:30 pm
Winter depression, or SAD as it has been termed, is very real isn’t it? Spring brings life, sunshine and hope. I am thankful during those long, dark winter months we have the HOPE of Jesus Christ within us to bring us sunshine. Lovely post, Floyd.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:16 pm
I’m with you, Nannette. Without that Hope I would be lost completely! Well said, sister. Thanks!
Sunday, March 30, 2014 @ 6:31 pm
Thoughtful post, Floyd. I can’t imagine slugging through this life without God. I’m a strong person, but this world would be a terrifying place if I wasn’t sure about Who was in control! For a non-believer this world is pretty hopeless place.
I agree with your statement, “When we begin to use those gifts on ourselves they become weapons of the enemy,” and I know there are people (both believers and non-believers) who have chemical imbalances that benefit greatly from treatment. The important thing is, whether it’s a chemical imbalance or sin, admit the problem, identify the cause and seek help. Just the nature of the problem means that many times it is someone other other than the person suffering who takes these steps, usually a family member. I’m the primary caretaker for my 84 year old father, and I’m constantly watching for signs of depression.
I appreciate you, Floyd! You’re always willing to talk about the hard stuff! Have a blessed week!
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:19 pm
I’m with you, June. Wonderful summary. Thank you, there are hard times for all of in one way or the other. No perfection this side of heaven! Blessings to you and your serving heart and hand, June. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, sister.
Sunday, March 30, 2014 @ 11:57 pm
We’ve learned sometimes you have to go back to basics: Good sleep, good food, good exercise, family, Bible, prayer.
Satan will use those triggers you mentioned when we’re not grounded enough to realize it and stop it before it starts.
Blessings,
Voni
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:23 pm
Nice, Voni. It is always about the basics, isn’t it? Seems so easy until we skip them like most of tend to! Excellent wisdom, sister. Thank you.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:19 am
Hi Floyd! It’s a good thing that you can put your finger on the depression and know that’s what it is. It seems funny that adding compassion can actually make is worse, but I understand your point. When I get down on myself, the worst thing I can do is start feeling so sorry for myself that I can’t get out. And I want to get out.
I like the image of my soul ‘rising up’. Leaving my old self behind and becoming a newer, stronger self. I”ll go along on that trip! It’s nice to have the company too 🙂
Have a wonderful Monday my friend,
Ceil
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:25 pm
Amen, Ceil! We’re not alone on this journey! And being up on the mountain in the shelter of our Father is as beautiful as it gets down here! Thanks for the company! Blessings to you, Ceil!
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 7:41 am
I have been known to throw some fantastic pity parties in honor of myself so I always like these reminders that it is a “fight for balance in our souls” (great way to put that). Sometimes the battle is heavier than others, but makes it all the more sweeter when we realize we are victorious through Jesus. Thanks for sharing about your sweet mama, Floyd. I’d love to sit around a kitchen table with her and brainstorm how we can save the world from itself. 🙂
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:28 pm
You’d love my mom! You’re not alone, Lisa. I’ve been known to throw some real bashes for myself! But the clean up is a nightmare! It’s all about Him, and when we strive for that perspective it sure helps our internal peace. It’s nice to have company, Lisa. Thanks for your honesty and wisdom, sister.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 10:42 am
Oh Floyd, what an incredible post, with such meaning for me right at this time in my life! I was concerned about the degree of sadness I might experience coming back here to the mountains after being away so long. My precious Frank would not be by my side as he was when I lived here before. We spent many incredible years in this area, even raised our son here. A few days ago I drove down to one of our favorite spots, by the river, where we used to take our supper and eat on the tailgate of our little truck. Actually one of my favorite photos of the two of us was snapped at that very place by a friend we “allowed” to join in one of our suppers once! As I wound along the little dirt road leading into the peaceful place, traveling underneath the bridge which holds up the main road I’d left, I began to cry, but it was way different than I had feared. I called on the name of Jesus, and immediately the sadness began to subside and a deep love of the memories we had made together took it’s place. I just drove through this time, didn’t stop and sit on the tailgate, simply couldn’t do that. I did notice however there is now a picnic table nearby, so next time I’ll stay a while and sit there. Jesus is now my husband, and He and I will also make wonderful memories here as well. And I choose to think on those, and the older memories with Him, and to let Him take away the sadness whenever it rears it’s depressing head.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:31 pm
Oh man. What a wonderful testimony, Betty Jo! I’m so happy for you to be in your new and old home. It’s not by mistake or coincidence. Your Groom is holding your heart and hand, sister. Enjoy the journey as you continue to show the rest of us how to live and see the world as our Father guides you. You are a blessing, sister. Thank you.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 11:34 am
This is beautiful. Myself… I tend to go to the extreme of being a melancholic. So it’s a struggle to find the good in anything. It’s tough to go beyond myself, being so self-absorbed, to feel empathy toward others while at the same time I greatly welcome empathy from others in my issues. I experienced depression awhile back. It’s a long journey to see the beauty out there, but it’s there, always within reach if I only extend my hand.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:34 pm
Isn’t that so true? All we have to do is reach, and yet we keep it to ours to enjoy our emotional pain for a while, sometimes to long. Crazy, but I completely get you, Thomas, you’re not alone, brother. Thanks for your honesty and intellect that I’ve come to expect and appreciate, Thomas.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 12:50 pm
Through the years I have work with many depressed people, enough to know some need a medical doctor for their depression. For the most part it’s been situational depression yet even that left unattended can turn into the need for some medical help to get out of it. I know because I have been there a couple times. Even now I am working with a woman who see all the problems in her life worst then anyone else, even sees her reaction worst because she is Italian, clearly her depression is a situation. The truth is, what ever our worst is, is the worst for us. One has to get out of the pit before they can see their depression the right way. I always expect to be depressed after certain events, moving, seeing and having to leave my mother in the nursing home and leaving our kids after a great time with them. Because I expect it, I also in purpose expect to come out of it. Too many days without sun will do it for me too, an illness the comes with an aging body depresses me at times. Were it not for the Lord and His truth that tells me this too will pass I could stay in that pit. There will be on cure for depression till He calls us home. For some it’s like having any other chronic illness but with Lord these ones can be a shining light for others. Have met people, good Christian people who believe all depression results from sin. And I guess in some way because of the curse of the fall it is. Not only is our body frail but so is our mind which is why I believe the Lord exhorts us to have His mind. He knew the cross would pass…the separation from His Father would pass, the load of our sin put on Him would pass, so shall the frailness we carry the light around in. I have literally hugged and kissed a few who have said to me, Betty you don’t seem like a depressed person. I tell them, you must see the Lord then in me for there is enough trials to make me depressed. What a beautiful picture you have put into words of your wise hearted mother. I do believe you are on to something my brother, there is an art to being depressed. We control the brush that paints with help from our heavenly Father. I want my printing to be titled, “this too will pass.”
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:39 pm
This too is a beautiful testimony, Betty. We all fail at one thing or another and our Father wired us in ways that we’re prone to things more than others. Knowing you and the way your wired, I can’t help but see the hand of God in it to bring you the gift of encouragement and wisdom. It is a powerful and wonderful gift, Betty. Your honesty of how you live daily is proof of the power of our Father within us. God bless you and your family, sister.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 12:57 pm
I am ashamed to admit Floyd that I cannot identify with someone going through depression. I am a Sanguine. Jo calls me “her glass half full” guy. Except for the occasional “blue” day, I have not been through this deep valley. I feel for those who do. I know many who do, especially in the winter, but simply cannot say “I know how you feel.” That would be dishonest. But I am also aware I can fall like anyone else if I take my eyes of the Father. Thanks for keeping others in mind in your stories-both those who have been there and those who need to know more.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:42 pm
You already know how much I appreciate your honesty and humility, Bill. That’s what makes you such a great pastor in my book. All of us have some sort of weakness, our own kryptonite if you will. And our Father is the antidote for everything in the world the He created and controls. Thanks, Bill.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 2:52 pm
I often find myself not in depression, but in regret. – At this point there is not much can be done to change the past. We go on attempting not to make the same mistakes over again, and pay attention to those around us who need our love. Our thought life can take us into joy or depression – the choice is there and we must change the channel if it is sadness we find there. Discovering scriptures that give us the answer and repeating them from memory (or using our flash cards) can help. Anger when mistreated can cause pain and sadness, and yes there is much sick sin all around us. Lift up your eyes and fasten them instead on Jesus who was treated worse than us all.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 5:44 pm
Yes! You nailed that, Hazel. Our Father has blessed you with uncommon wisdom. You have a way of looking at things with His perspective. Our Savior endured worse than all of us… for us. To be loved like that is more than reason enough to be thankful and rejoice! Thanks so much, Hazel. God bless you and all of yours, sister.
Monday, March 31, 2014 @ 8:43 pm
We’ve got quite a few melancholies in our family. It’s a beautiful gift to be sensitive and deep but without those godly boundaries, look out! You’re right, the solution is rising up and serving others.
My favorite line: “When we begin to use those gifts on ourselves they become weapons of the enemy, in my opinion.” I agree, brother.
Have a good week,
Mary
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:32 pm
I think that applies for all of us! Thanks, Mary. You’ve trained your daughters well!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 6:45 am
And yet we have another thing in common. I have never felt clinically depressed, but I sometimes get anxious, worried, bummed out, too focused oh self and poor me. That leads to nothing but deeper trouble. I’ve struggled with these bouts since my mid-20s. I’ve learned to catch myself more quickly from falling, but still struggle. But when we focus outward and toward God, we can pull out of these little funks.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:33 pm
Amen, Dan. The words of a man who’s been down the road and back again. We do have a ton in common! I’m wondering how far we’d have to go back to find that we’re related! Thanks, Dan.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 11:36 am
ooh, songs are powerful for me– both to trigger harder emotions, and to comfort.
I appreciate your mom’s heart for people. We need those who have compassion for others.
Depression seems to be a hard journey to walk. I know some who walk that and let me glance in, to share their hurts. I’m thankful for their honesty, and glad that nothing is too big for our God to deal with.
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:37 pm
The music is quite a tool. We all have something to wrestle with in this flesh. I appreciate your heart, Jennifer. Blessings to you and yours, sister. Thanks.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 12:02 pm
Pitty party. Woe is me. Sometimes validated pain placed on us by others can sink one into depression. Totally understandable yet not, like you mentioned, healthy for us. When I have been hurt by others and I find myself tumbling down that deep dark hole into selfish anguish I force myself to think about Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus had the righteous reasons to fall into dispare yet He didn’t, He fought it. When I think about what He went through I can not be depressed. How can I? I will never get anywhere close to the kind of pain He suffered. Never. Thinking on Him bounces me right out of that pit.
Yes brother, the view is beautiful from the mountain. 🙂
Blessings
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
Awesome summary, sister! We can’t come close to grasping all our Savior endured. Maybe even the things He faced during the three days in another dimension. Good call. I’ve got to remember that one, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. That will change a perspective! Blessings to you for your heart and wisdom! Thanks so much!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:13 pm
Our tears are precious to God.
I thought of the scripture that tells us that we are of more value than the sparrows…God loves us more than we can ever conceive. That should give us joy while in the valleys, but sometimes the valleys are so low…yet, His love and grace will carry us through.
And you’re right, thinking of others helps get us through the tough times.
Thanks for sharing.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:42 pm
The valleys are low, but He is with us. It is His hand that lifts to the places higher than our souls can grasp! It’s good to ponder the value our Father places on us… mind boggling really. Thanks, TC.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 5:59 pm
I like the way you pointed out that we need to let some sorrow in, but not let it get the best of us. There are people with chemical imbalances who can’t seem to help themselves. There are also those who are very sensitive and are overwhelmed by the terrible things that take place in this world. I find that I’m most prone to being down when I spend too much time focusing on myself and things that happen to me. I find that when I spend more time thinking of others, and trying to make things better for them; I in turn feel much happier. Serving and being around others is pretty good medicine for the soul.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:30 pm
I’m completely with you, Mike. You nailed it! That’s exactly what I’ve found in my life… I just need to be reminded of it more often than I realize sometimes. Thanks, Mike. I appreciate your honesty and wisdom, brother.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014 @ 8:36 pm
Well, you covered a lot of territory here, Brother. I face and struggle with depression nearly daily, based on the sinfulness that surrounds me by the world’s ungodly focus. My rejoicing comes as I focus on Him, worship Him, spend time with dear ones, either face-to-face or blog-to-blog, and that keeps me moving along. My spiritual vision re: what I understand about our world, above and underground, me being a spiritual “Watcher”… well it all keeps me from being a “sweetness and light” person. Yes, I rejoice, I laugh, I smile… to and for the Lord and the ones He has laid in my life … but I also am constantly heartbroken from what I’m seeing and knowing. NOW, I’ve said the same thing a couple just on this. But, you know me now. So you can put up with me, doncha think? [AND I need to find time to read some of your other posts. So sorry!] Bless you…
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:32 pm
Put up with you! It’s like talking to myself! Well, I guess I have a less heart and compassion than you, but we’re cut from the same mold, no doubt about that! We laugh, but we aren’t home here and the heaviness of our hearts and souls prove it. Bless you, Joanne, and thanks for the smile!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
Sorry. I pushed the wrong button. So, I ended up as a replying situation on Sharon. DUH!! Computer world.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 2:33 pm
You know, Floyd, you have shared some powerful Truth here. I am a “Valley Girl” – very prone to melancholy and anxiety. And sometimes I wear my depressed spirit like a worn-out old overcoat. Don’t need it, and it’s way to heavy to wear – but I’m so used to it, I think it’s comfortable.
Thankfully, God provides people like you to remind me that the SON is still shining up on top of the mountain. I’m grabbing on, and climbing out.
Lord, I need to see the light again.
GOD BLESS!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:34 pm
Well you’re not alone, sister. It’s easier getting out of that valley with the hands of our brothers and sisters as we help one another. The view is stunning isn’t it! For those of us who have lows, we know the highs are soul soaring! God bless you, Sharon. You’ve just given me a huge boost! Thanks, sister.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:39 pm
Thank you so much. You just made me smile. Filled with stress today, so smiling turned out to be a good God thing. Blessing you, Floyd.
Friday, April 4, 2014 @ 5:42 pm
That may have been the best thing I’ve done today! Blessings to you to, Joanne.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 4:57 pm
Floyd,
Life can be harder for tender souls like your mom because they feel so deeply…so many thoughts at your post…depression is such a huge topic as there are different causes (some chemical as you pointed out, some situational as you also pointed out, and some due to how we think, or our natural temperament…) and so there are different solutions…I guess I am also thinking of Rick and Kay Warren’s son who died almost a year ago and when I have heard them speak of their loss…I agree with you, in some cases, it can be overcome with the Lord’s help….I don’t know what the answer is in all cases, this side of heaven.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014 @ 5:36 pm
I’m not sure of anything except to strive to draw nigh unto our Father and allow Him to lift us. I sense the wisdom and tenderness in your heart and soul, Dolly. You’re a special one, sister. God bless you and your family.
Thursday, April 3, 2014 @ 9:04 am
Blessed are those who mourn. Yes, there is a place for sorrow, for contemplative sadness. And yes, the melancholy need reminded to get out of the well and up on dry land and into fresh air. I love the idea here of balance, of knowing or developing an instinct to move out of the depths. We can do this if our thinking is right, if we understand the essential truth of accepting that everything has a season. Love these thoughtful words, my friend
Friday, April 4, 2014 @ 5:44 pm
Thanks, Alyssa. I defer to you, sister. You’ve been to a place in the valley where most of haven’t and seems to me your mountain is higher. Always appreciate your wisdom, Alyssa.