SOMEONE IN THEIR PLACE
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a Christian say how they “put someone in their place”, I’d have a herd of piggy banks, pockets, and a sore back. My ears are just as full and weary from hearing it.
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My wife has a friend who is a single mom and has had her fair share of struggles. She was surprised when she found out what church we went to, didn’t seem to square with what she knew about my wife and what she had experienced at the church we attend.
When people are hurting they go to different places to find help and answers. My wife’s friend is no different. Instead of searching the honky tonks and bars she decided she’d seek answers and solace at the house of God.
Her son was a little guy at the time so she loaded him up and off to church they went. I don’t know if my wife’s friend even remembers what she heard in the sermon that day. What she does remember is a conversation she had with a stranger, a church member.
The man didn’t introduce himself. He didn’t greet her or her little boy with a “Hi, how are you today?” Nor did he tell her that he was glad she decided to join them. The man told her that the service was not the place for her little boy to be.
My wife’s friend decided that if that church didn’t want her son to be there, then they didn’t want her either… she never went back.
My wife’s friend’s son is in college now and as far as I know that day in church when he was a tyke was the last time he or his mom attended church.
She went to church seeking the comfort that only comes from knowing our Father. What she discovered was a legalist disguised as a Christian.
I don’t know who the man was, but I know the type. They’re always the ones to share with other legalists how they put a sinner in their place, “And I told her ______”… fill in the blanks, we’ve all heard it.
In all the fullness and blindness in that man, he can’t begin to grasp the words of Christ, words he quotes to put someone in their place.
My wife told her friend that she was sorry anyone would ever treat her like that and assured her that wasn’t the norm. She also told her that she is welcome to come with us anytime. I think she might.
Folks don’t want or need to know about the broken rules… until after they learn of the love and broken heart of Jesus Christ.
Putting someone in their place should be smack dab in the middle of His and His chosen’s grace… not on the spot and out the door. Telling them is God’s job… ours is showing them Him.
Sunday, May 15, 2016 @ 1:02 pm
That is not the first time I heard of that happening Floyd. It makes me cringe inside and I want to hunt that so-called Christian and beat them to a pulp (in christian love of course). I want to go to those people and say, “do you know what you said and did?” ‘Course as high and mighty as they think they are I seriously doubt they will even hear a word i say. I’m with you on this. I sure hope this lady will visit with you and your wife. I have this sneaking suspicion being seen with some long-haired dude might ease her tension a bit. 🙂 But i also that long-haired dude and his wife are genuine Christ-followers.
Sunday, May 15, 2016 @ 4:54 pm
I will be standing in line behind Bill to get my hands on that man. When I first came to know the Lord I like to drove my neighbor crazy with my righteous talk. I made the very one who died for me not appealing to her. Best thing that could have happened to me for it change my perspective on how important it was to be a Christian and not just talk about being one. I pray too she gives God another chance.
Sunday, May 15, 2016 @ 5:44 pm
Hey Floyd!
Great post! Yeah, this is a sad case of righteousness, but you have to wonder how empty this man must be, if he is proud of putting people in their place. He(we) can beat-the-church doors-down every Sunday, but if he is there to honor himself and his ways, he leaves with an empty bottle. You know it’s true! I know the church should be a place to find acceptance and solace, but we have to understand that it is made-up of people. Just regular old sinners, like you and me! Just because we attend church does not mean we are gracious individuals. We bring our luggage with us, into the sanctuary. But, the hope is that we will learn to drop a few of their bags each time we attend church, having heard The Word and accepted more of the love of Christ. I hope the guy at your church and all of us, learn to be less about ourselves and more about the Lord.
Sunday, May 15, 2016 @ 10:47 pm
Unfortunately I’ve experienced that same man. I think we all have. It makes you NOT want to attend that church at all. I came across the same man again, many years later at another church. I said “Hello!” then walked away…fast.
Monday, May 16, 2016 @ 6:30 am
Ugh. Stories like that make me cringe. I heard a similar one (but not that extreme) myself yesterday. I didn’t know how to combat it since I was on the fringes of it, but I’m glad your wife is smack dab in the middle of this one and is doing something about it. I pray that her friend gives the community another chance to show God’s love. She’s definitely seeing it in your wife!
Monday, May 16, 2016 @ 7:42 am
So many church goers have no idea how to truly welcome newcomers.
Monday, May 16, 2016 @ 2:43 pm
I don’t know how many times I’ve said to myself, “I wish people would get out of the way of Jesus.” Sometimes, unfortunately, those who call themselves His followers do everything to chase people away. In my opinion, if you’re going to wear the *title* Christian, you had better open your heart so He can live through you. I have a feeling Jesus would be quite righteously indignant at the bad behavior of some who claim to follow Him. Legalism, ugh. He calls us to extend His grace…
Now I’m all riled up.
And inspired once again to ask Him to aid me in representing Him well. Prayers for this woman, and thank goodness for the witness of you and your wife. May the Holy Spirit work…and woo.
GOD BLESS!
Monday, May 16, 2016 @ 5:12 pm
I was just writing about being His ambassador. This is an important reminder, brother. I have to believe that God’s purpose and plan for your wife’s friend and her son weren’t thwarted by that man’s actions, but your story should give us all a self-check. Not to mention that we should be aware if this is happening in our church family. There are biblical ways to approach the problem. They’re not easy, but well worth the effort. I pray your wife’s friend decides to give church another chance. I know you and your wife will be a witness for Him either way. Have a blessed week!
Monday, May 16, 2016 @ 5:55 pm
Hi, Floyd!
We Christians forget sometimes that we are righteous in Christ but sometimes get self righteous. Your words caution me not to get this confused. I am praying for your wife’s friend that she will continue seeking Jesus and accept your invite!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016 @ 2:55 pm
That remark from the gentleman was uncalled for. If a church has a nursery, a young mother can enjoy the service knowing her child is cared for. I do not want to become that outspoken person and as I look at my heart, I pray my words speak out of love and a positive way-out given. But for the grace of God, there go I
Our mouth gets in the way at times and speaks before it thinks. God help me to watch my words that they do not offend when I feel the need to speak my opinion (probably un-necessary and un-wanted.)
Wednesday, May 18, 2016 @ 7:57 am
Oh man, my first response is a little anger then overwhelming sadness. “Putting someone in their place” should not involve tearing them down, but showing them who they are in God, that we are to be “seated with Christ in heavenly places.” But she didn’t get that opportunity because someone failed to love and offer grace (not that I haven’t done as much in indifference/busyness rather than hostility). Lord, help us to see as He sees! Good reminder, Floyd. Thank you.
Thursday, May 19, 2016 @ 10:51 am
Oh Floyd,
I feel terrible for your friend and her son.
Yes: “Folks don’t want or need to know about the broken rules… until after they learn of the love and broken heart of Jesus Christ. ”
Praying your friend and her son can know God’s love and not define God by one man’s unkind remark…so sad. Glad you and your wife can show her God’s love 🙂
Thursday, May 19, 2016 @ 8:55 pm
Wow, that’s sad. I bet God must have a hard time watching what goes on in church at times. 🙁
Thursday, May 26, 2016 @ 4:14 am
Oh, my! This just breaks my heart. Too often, this happens, and how it should make us aware of our words and actions! That dear boy grew up without the influence of church in his life, and now, it is too late to go back and do that over. It just makes me so upset to know that people do these things in the name of Christ and go on their “holier-than-thou”, self-righteous path feeling ever-so-pious and superior to the poor souls they wound in the process. I have been at the receiving end of this abuse more times than I could even tell you, and it just makes me literally sick to think of the hurt this woman endured. I am so thankful you shared this and brought to light how damaging a small comment can be. Thank you, brother, and God bless you abundantly for speaking the truth here.