SILLY TRADITIONS
It’s an odd ritual. One of many, what some might call silly traditions, that have been part of our lives for as far back as I can recollect. And it’s a rare thing when one of us other than my wife remembers or volunteers for the task. We’re like the lazy farm animals that don’t want to help make the bread, we just want to wolf it down.
My diligent wife asks the question she already knows the answer to, “Did anybody light the candle?” These days life and time has whittled the family dinner number of participants down by two for a grand total of three of us. That leaves only our youngest and I to answer the loaded question. You’d think my wife would quit asking after all these years.
My little one and I look at each other with eyes at half mast – that’s how family members talk when it’s better not to talk… My daughter also asks me with her eyes if I might do the honors… I rarely do. I raise my eyebrows high in silence to let her know she’ll be doing the honors if her mom doesn’t beat her to the punch – make that candle.
Similar to the redundant question my wife asks, so do we, “Why do we have to light the candle every night?” We get the same traditional response, “It makes the food taste better.” My youngest and I again look at each other with eyes at half mast and straight faces in unanimous silent disagreement.
Neither one of us believes it actually makes the food taste better – her even more so when it turns out to be fish… The truth is, even despite my laziness and seeming apathy, I really do appreciate that my wife goes out of her way to make every dinner special. They are. I’ve figured out by now that it’s those seemingly insignificant actions that demonstrate love.
I also know that the day is coming when it will most likely be me that insists on lighting the candle that sits in the center of our table before we eat… even when it’s just my wife and I. I’m already forming the rapidly approaching vision of a future where three moms will be asking their families, “Did anybody light the candle?” Their little ones will squawk about the senselessness of it all as they slowly over time begin to understand the lasting value of traditions of a loving mom who sat in the chairs where they once sat… many dinners ago.
My little one struggled to light the big candle with the wick buried in the dried wax. I took the lighter, turned the cream colored candle at an angle and let the melting wax uncover the tired wick from so many nights before. I watched the light dance on the other side of the almost translucent wax for a moment before my wife sat down.
We moved on to our next tradition of prayer in thanks to the One who provides all things and gives us the minds to grasp the precious gifts we all tend to take for granted. You know, I didn’t use to, but I really believe the prayer of thanks makes the food taste even better… even when it’s fish…
Ed
Sunday, January 5, 2014 @ 5:09 pm
Who would think that lighting a candle would have such a lifelong impact. Makes me wonder who will light the candle for Jesus.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 9:58 am
Oooo! Good question! Would have to be one of the disciples I think. Might have to read Revelation and look for that answer! Good call, Ed. Thanks!
Hazel Moon
Sunday, January 5, 2014 @ 6:07 pm
We did not have a tradition such as this – only for birthdays candles on a cake, but this is lovely. I am sure it and (the prayer) do make the food taste better. This is an awesome post and not silly at all. It will no doubt appear at “Tell Me a Story.”
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:00 am
Thanks, Hazel. I can’t remember how many times over the years that we forget to blow the candle out after dinner! I’m better at that than I am lighting it!
Betty Draper
Sunday, January 5, 2014 @ 8:31 pm
I think you are a hundred percent right, a thankful prayer for what ever meal we sit down to makes it better. A lovely tradition…something to remember for all see it’s light and one who knows the Lord cannot see light without thinking about the light of the world. Good for your wife for keeping this tradition alive.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:01 am
You’re right, Betty. All light should point to the Light that lives within us! It’s taken a long time to get used to it, but I’m finally catching on! Thanks, Betty.
SimplyDarlene
Sunday, January 5, 2014 @ 9:25 pm
Ah! Great piece – with many nuances of how He cares for us.
Blessings.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:02 am
It doesn’t take a hard look to see our Father’s hand in all of our blessings, does it? Good call, Darlene. Thanks, sister. Blessings to you as well.
David
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 1:18 am
Great post, I confess we have no deep set traditions. We have talked many times about starting one but it rarely lasts more than a year or two.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:04 am
I think you know that if it was up to me I’d have dropped the ball a long time ago! Then again, just eating together is a tradition in and of itself. Good to hear from you, David.
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 5:17 am
Some traditions are worthless and have no reason (like some church ones). But this is a good family one. About the only one we have is praying before the meal, even in public we hold hands and pray. It is just the two of us now. Some things are good not changing.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:06 am
I’m with you, Bill. We pray in public as well, like you, it’s not for show, it’s being obedient to the One who provides all things. I’m long past caring that much about what people think and care more about what my Father thinks. Thanks, Bill.
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 11:07 am
I love your answer Floyd. “long past caring…” If we would come to that sooner in life we could save us a whole lot of pain.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 4:24 pm
Boy, ain’t that the truth! Living our lives and striving to honor our Father brings a peace that caring what others think can never achieve. Good call, Bill.
Lisa notes
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 10:35 am
What a beautiful tradition. Would that I were more attentive to details like that. Yes, I can see you insisting on lighting the candle yourself in days to come…. Empty nests can do strange things to us. {smile} But until then, enjoy your dinners for three by candlelight.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 4:22 pm
I guess you’d be the one to know that empty nests can bring about change! I’ll do my best to make the most of it while the little one is still here… and not wanting to light the candle! Thanks, Lisa.
Jason Stasyszen
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 2:29 pm
Love the linking of traditions and demonstration of love. You make something special by committing yourself to it, even if it seems insignificant–like those traditions Jesus asked us to observe like baptism, the Lord’s table, and the assembly of the brethren. It’s a demonstration of His love and ours to Him. Thank you, Floyd.
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 4:26 pm
I like the analogy, Jason. It is the discipline and perseverance that demonstrate His love in action through us. You’re on a roll today, my friend! Make sure you get some writing done today!!! Thanks, Jason.
Barb Raveling
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 4:31 pm
Hmm, I think we need to start having candles for dinner every night! Our kids used to love it when we had candles – and then they all fought over who got to snuff the candles out at the end of the meal with the candle snuffer, just like I used to argue about it with my three siblings when we went to our grandma and grandpa’s house when we were little. I love traditions. That’s so great that your wife does that. And down to only one kid at dinner – so sad. That will be us again in another week.
Every few days another kids leaves.
Our college aged daughter left this afternoon after soup, scones, and a lunchtime game of mexican train on Christmas china. Ny youngest and I are here all alone this afternoon. We cleaned the house really good, went on a walk, and made a chocolate espresso tart for dinner. It’s very clean in hear but awful quiet!
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 5:09 pm
I can’t imagine having twins or triplets and them all leaving at once. That would be more than I’d want to deal with. It’s a slow process like every other new thing in life. Enjoy your time, Barb. It is precious time that seemed like it would never get here and then when it does it seems like it went by like a season. Light a candle tonight, sister. God bless.
Audra Krell
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 4:40 pm
Beautiful lovely traditions, all for Jesus! I got misty several times during this post, our middle son is a senior, just us and the youngest next year. I think it really helps them too, they know what to count on and it brings comfort. Isn’t that just like our Savior!
Floyd
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 5:11 pm
I agree, Audra. Amazing that it went by so fast… even when it seemed like time was standing still there for a while. I can’t hardly think of a time with kids leaving the house and not think of your Bed, Bath, and Beyond post. Talk about misty… Thanks, Audra.
Mike
Monday, January 6, 2014 @ 9:00 pm
I think it’s a nice tradition. In a world that is moving faster and faster, and the family unit breaking down, it’s nice to have something special like that to share within your family.
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:05 pm
It really is, Mike. Funny how we tend to still take too much for granted in life. Gotta work on that… Thanks, Mike.
Dan Erickson
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 6:05 am
I think that’s a great tradition. Not only does it make the food taste better ;), but it brings family together.
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:06 pm
You’re right of course, it’s just easy to be lazy and complain about the little things until we begin to put them in a proper perspective. Thanks, Dan.
Dolly@Soulstops
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 9:53 am
What a lovely tradition, Floyd…a signal to stop …how special it is to share a meal with loved ones…Happy New Year, a little belatedly 🙂
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:07 pm
Yep, to stop and smell the roses… or candle as it were! It’s the little things that mean the most. Thanks, Dolly. Happy belated New Year to you too, sister.
tcavey
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 11:02 am
It’s the small things that make up our lives… Like how towels are folded, beds are made, certain scents that fill our homes.
When we get older those are the things we will remember, or at least try to remember.
I remember my dad’s hands and the way he always carried a tissue in his pocket on Sundays. The only times I remember my dad ever crying were in church. He was man enough to cry before God.
Now, I find myself looking at the male leaders in church…are they willing to be broken before God and man?
Sometimes we don’t realize the traditions we are making, but everything has meaning.
I like your wife’s tradition of lighting candles before the meal. My family thinks I’m fanatical about using place mats for every meal. I think I might add a candle to the mix and see if they can handle it 🙂
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:11 pm
I cherish similar memories of my dad, TC. I know you know that, but having a humble heart before our Father is a tradition worth passing on… just like you are… It doesn’t get better than that, my friend.
My wife is exactly the same! No place mats – no chow! Even when we take things into watch TV she won’t serve it without one! I can see you as a candle nazi! (kidding!) Thanks, TC, great to hear from you. You’ve been missed.
tcavey
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 10:37 am
I chuckled as I read your reply. thanks, Floyd. I’ve missed the banter and friendship. It’s good to be back.
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 2:02 pm
See there? Who says some good things in life aren’t free? !
Bernard Haynes
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 12:18 pm
What a great tradition. Your daughter will always remember this. Not just the candle lighting but the family time at dinner. Some of those traditions I thought were silly are now great memories. Floyd, thanks for your inspirational writings.
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:17 pm
I’m with you, Bernard. Some of the best memories are the ones we did through discipline and somehow along the way they turned into gratification of the soul. Thanks for adding to the post and making it more than it could ever be without the online fellowship of you and my other brothers and sisters in Christ. Bless you, Bernard.
Betty Jo
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 2:52 pm
What a beautiful tradition that will be remembered a lifetime! It reminds me of Jesus cooking fish on the shore over an open pit, with the disciples gathered around the fire fellowshipping with Him. Oops! Pretend I didn’t say fish!!
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:20 pm
The memory will last beyond this life, Betty Jo. I don’t mind fish over an open fire, but I won’t mention it to my youngest! To funny! Thanks, Betty Jo!
Caleb Suko
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 3:15 pm
My kids are great for reminding me about our family traditions when I forget. It’s usually my 9 year old daughter who pipes of after dinner and says, “Papa, are you going to read us a Bible story?”
Floyd
Tuesday, January 7, 2014 @ 4:21 pm
Ohhhh, that is to great! It doesn’t get any better than that, does it? I think not! The best treasures are those that we share from the heart in our everyday actions of life. Well done, dad! Thanks, Caleb.
Micah
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 5:48 am
Oh man, is that cool!!!
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 1:58 pm
You’ll have to add this to your list of traditions!
Lainey Patterson
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ 4:59 pm
Lovely tradition I’m sure Diane started. Keep it up when it’s just the
two of you – we all look better by candlelight!
Floyd
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ 5:04 pm
Ain’t that the truth! Me especially! The problem is she doesn’t turn any lights off! Thanks, Lainey. Always a pleasure to hear from you!
Dave Arnold
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ 5:51 pm
Great story Floyd! I think traditions help us remember why we do what we do –
especially significant things. Jesus taught His disciples this – “do this in rememberence of Me.”
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 1:52 pm
Excellent point, Dave. That pretty much sums it up! Remembering is a powerful tool that seems a bit rusty at times… Thanks for sharing the wisdom, brother!
SimplyDarlene
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ 6:40 pm
Just wanted to leave you a note — something has gone haywire with my website email system and I’m rattling the cage to shake out the nasty critters. So, maybe in a day or two you can send me another message. Some are making their way through… Anyway, I’m sorry ’bout the confusion. Traps are baited and the fur is a flying 😉
Blessings.
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 1:53 pm
Okay, will do. I feel bad for any of the critters that have to tangle with you! Thanks for checking in.
Joanne Norton
Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ 7:23 pm
I miss having candles. Well, HAVE some, but can’t light them. In our present-day future, lighting them in a house, an apt, a motel… can have the fire alarm set off. Dave and I, shortly after our marriage, made a bunch to give around and about for Christmas. Now? Have a few special ones. But just gotta look at ’em. Life has changed! If we were further out of a city, we could light MORE and MORE! I’d love it. Glad you and yours have done good. 😉
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 1:55 pm
Candles can be like fish tanks, can’t they? Funny how a small contained fire with all it’s dangerous potential can calm us… There’s gotta be a story in there some where! Thanks for sharing, Joanne. I say set it out front and light one!
Micah
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 5:47 am
… Especially when it’s fish (I love haddock and salmon). My wife always says love makes the food taste better, and I believe her. No restaurant can rival her or my mum. You know it makes me wonder how many little unwitting traditions I might have from when I was a kid, and which ones might one day be passed along when I have children of my own 🙂
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 1:58 pm
My favorite these days is mahi. I’m with you, love does make the food taste better! It is the company we’ve been blessed with to be sure. I can only imagine what wonderful traditions you’ll have… not to mention and unbelievably gifted and intelligent children! Thanks, Micah!
Dan Black
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 12:56 pm
My family loves our traditions, especially the Christmas time traditions. Those traditions really bring joy into our hearts and allow us to connect even more. Great post, Floyd!
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 2:04 pm
That’s exactly it, Dan! The spiritual connections! Well said, Dan. Thanks for summing things up perfectly, brother!
Loren Pinilis
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 2:54 pm
That’s a cute tradition. I can imagine that makes dinnertime special in some little way.
Floyd
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 5:28 pm
It does. If it’s important to one of our loved ones then you just know it’s going to return huge dividends! Thanks, Loren.
Nancy
Sunday, January 12, 2014 @ 3:22 pm
Traditions = “I’m part of something”. Many also provide a certain type of quiet – peace – if you will – in their midst. A person comes to associate themselves and who their are or their well-being with memory making traditions. I like how God provided the Israelites with all their FEASTS. Talk about meaningful tradition. That was their whole heritage!
Good on your wife. She has a true inner sense of cohesiveness.
Yeah, our candles usually burn down too. We leave them burring because we like the glow and the ambiance they provide.
Floyd
Sunday, January 12, 2014 @ 5:56 pm
Good call on the Israelites history! You’re the thinker, Nancy! Sounds like you and my wife have a lot in common… Randy is a blessed man! Thanks, Nancy.