SELF CONTROL VERSUS EMOTION
I’ve done my share of ignorant things in my life, probably more than the average bear would be my guess. At an away basketball game, on a fast break I got fouled by the other team’s point guard, who I stole the ball from, as I was going in for a lay-up.
It wasn’t a ticky-tacky foul, I’m talkin’ about a full blown mid-air body block that sent me flying out of bounds almost into the block wall of the gymnasium. The hometown hillbilly ref swallowed his whistle on the assault and turned an evil eye.
It was clear there would be no justice from the loser ref, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. Self-control versus emotion. Honor was a word I probably couldn’t spell at the time, much less understand the definition of.
With the brain of an alligator, I ran down court never stopping to reason with what small sized brain I had at the time. The kid was standing pretty much flat-footed when I leveled him with a body block, he actually flew through the air and landed on his elbow.
Mr. cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater ref suddenly found his whistle along with the other hillbilly ref. As I was being escorted from the court into the locker rooms, I saw them walking the other kid I hit out as well. He was holding his elbow, crying…
At the time I felt no remorse, I thought, “Oh, Mr. tough guy can dish it out, but he can’t take it”! I was depressed to not get to play the game I loved. That depression turned to anxiety once I learned after the game that the hometown crowd had turned into an ugly mob and I was considered public enemy number one.
I smiled and waved at the unruly crew once upon the bus as we were driving away. Sticks and stones don’t hurt a bit when protected by the shield of the bus.
The small actions and or decisions made during what seems like insignificant forks in the road are actually much more significant than most of us realize. That decision or action takes us toward what will be our destiny. Our destination will leave what the world and God sees as our legacy. During emotional times we’ll all have to make a decision, that decision will be based on something.
The small actions and decisions made in emotion instead of moral principles may begin by chance or without conscientious calculations. As they become the habit or norm, they begin to define the lives of those who fall prey to the weakness. The weakness we all possess, the thing that we must fight against.
The local girls Lacrosse community was put in an unenviable spot with less than 48 hours before the Division 1 state championship game this week. Mercy, Horizon’s goalie had to have an emergency gall bladder surgery which she is recovering from.
That left Horizon without a goalie, league rules wouldn’t allow for a roster change with less than 48 hours before a game. Enter: One of those life defining moments…
I wonder how the dads and or granddads of the people who voted would have cast their votes? I’m curious if the parents of the ones who didn’t vote would have done the same?
To only allow the less qualified of all choices and select that brave girl to be the opponent doesn’t square with what we all know is honorable. The saddest part for me is the example set for the young impressionable girls…
That simple act will leave an indelible asterisk on this league for the remainder of its existence…
By the way, when we played that team the next time at home I shook the kids hand that I body slammed and apologized.
It didn’t change the past, but it was the right thing to do.
GET IT?
Lauren Wheeler
Sunday, May 15, 2011 @ 11:57 pm
I am so glad to see that you wrote this. The one thing I always remembered you emphasizing was that it’s better to lose with honor than win with dishonor. I will never forget that, and for someone to be able to walk away knowing they won with dishonor honestly makes me sick to my stomach….and the sad part is it happens again and again and people get away with it because no one says anything. What does that say about someone’s true character? Thank you Floyd for letting all of those that you have had an impact on realize how important it is to be an honest person with integrity. I know in the end we will have lived a more honorable life, and to me that is more important than doing what it takes to win a game.
Floyd
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 6:44 am
Thank You Lauren, you and all the girls were and are honorable. Sometimes in our quest for what we desire the most it’s easy to make mistakes. In the end everyone will realize, there are no shortcuts in life…
Bt
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 7:54 am
Sports can teach a person a lot of life’s lessons and you can learn everything about a person thru sports. Emotions and sports are conncected at the hip and it takes emotions to play well (in both sports and life). But emotions and good sportsmanship can co-exist. Often we don’t recognize a lesson in life when it happens, it takes time to understand what embodies wisdom. Some of us it just takes a little to “GET IT”.
Floyd
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 9:58 am
I hear you, I shared my story and have boat loads even as a coach that I could share, but some things I just couldn’t do, not for love or money. You’ve been there as well. The time you were coaching baseball and were short handed at game time comes to mind. You asked the other coach to give you a person to be on your team and they gave you the weakest kid, when your players showed up right before starting time, you didn’t kick the kid to the curb, you did the right thing, even if it meant losing. That character is what this lacrosse community is missing. They only have emotion, which we all have. It’s how you control that emotion is how we teach our younger generation. If I were a comparable golfer and we were playing for the club championship and someone stole my clubs and it was up to you to stipulate which clubs I could use, would you pick ones that you knew would allow you to win? Or would you want to win based purely on our skills that day? That’s what I thought…
Tammy
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 5:08 pm
“With the brain of an alligator…” Hehehe!
Good story, and great lesson learned!
Floyd
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 5:19 pm
That’s on a good day!
Tammy
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 7:28 pm
LOL
Well, thankfully you have the mind of Christ to help you out in that area. 😉
Floyd
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 8:01 pm
I guess that gives a whole new meaning to the words, “I need ALL the help I can get.”
Tammy
Tuesday, May 17, 2011 @ 4:45 pm
*grin*
Pat
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 8:06 pm
Surprisingly, there’s a commercial on TV that shows a basketball player who confesses to his coach that he “touched the ball” before it went out of bounds. The ref didn’t see it and the other players are upset that the boy wants to call it to his attention. In the end, the coach says to the boy, “Good call!”. It’s the only commercial I don’t fast forward through.
Integrity is so important. In my experience, it is something that we actually have to teach, it doesn’t come naturally. Children don’t come into this world knowing the definition of words like integrity, character, and honor; it’s up to us to teach them and to model it. I listened to the testimony of a bull rider this past Sunday at our church, he said that during his father’s 80+ years, neither he nor his brother ever heard him say a curse word – that’s a small, everyday example of discipline/integrity/character/honor. Who hasn’t hit their thumb with a hammer and been in serious danger of losing their christianity!
Over the past few months of reading your blog, I have enjoyed the comments as much as your stories. It has become clear to me that those who know and love you consider you a man of integrity. “Well done, Thy good and faithful servant”!
P.S. When April posts Terry Holland’s testimony on our church website, you should check it out – awesome!
Floyd
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 8:16 pm
Thank you so much Pat. The truth is God has blessed me with amazing people in my life. They make it easy to be decent. I have to confess when someone cheats or shows less than honorable intentions to the people I care about, my blood boils. I can be very vocal for the ones I feel God has put in my life.
Please let me know when Terry’s testimony is going to be posted, I definitely want to check it out. If you recommend it, it”s got to be a must read…
Roger
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 11:17 am
Floyd you have a nice way with words. However, keep in mind there are two sides to every coin. Two years ago the league allowed a club to field 3 teams. The rules were layed out that teams from that club could field a D1 and JV team, and then if a 3rd team was formed, they would play as a D2 team. The majority of the participating teams in the league were concerned that this may give a club an unfair advantage over teams that did not have the luxury of fielding 3 teams. To help grow the game of lacrosse, the voting members passed a by-law to allow the 3rd team, but clearly wanted the D1 and D2 teams to operate as separate teams and included in the by-law that they could not cross roster those two teams. The league by-laws do allow a JV player to play up if necessary. The boys lacrosse league, Little League and Az youth soccer leagues all have similar rules that lock their rosters at some point. Regardless whether someone agrees with this ruling or not, it is stated in the league by-laws. When Horizon approached the board to overturn this rule, the executive committee voted to follow the by-laws of the league which would only allow a JV player to fill in that position. A grievance was filed and it came to a vote amongst the participating league members. The league members confirmed to follow the league by-laws and agreed that a D2 player is not allowed to play on the D1 roster. Everyone was sympathetic to Horizon’s situation. No one wanted Horizon to play without their injured player. It was an unfortunate situation and horrible timing. However it can happen to any team or any player. It does not make the game any less worthy than it would be prior to the injury. In your response to Pat you say “I have to confess when someone cheats or shows less than honorable intentions to the people I care about, my blood boils”. But to insinuate that someone cheated and won the game without honor is unfair. Both teams were very evenly matched throughout the season, The season record between them was 1-1. Horizon should be proud of their accomplishments this season. The game was a great game. Both teams played with passion, dignity and heart. Both teams gave it everything they got. The Horizon goalie who stepped in played a great game and should be praised. It could have been anyone’s game. The clock ran out. Don’t take away these accomplishments away from either team. You’re right, it’s time to shake hands with the league, the officials and the opposing team and agree that is was a “good game”.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 12:42 pm
Roger thank you for your response. I respectfully appreciate your perspective. However, it is my understanding that the league rules do not allow any substitutions on a roster with less than 48 hours before a game. If that is indeed the case then the league had to make a choice and vote on something that was outside the realm of what the by laws covered. In this scenario a choice was made by the people involved (and to be honest I have very little knowledge pertaining to who all that might entail) to select the least qualified to represent a team. That goes against what in my opinion makes a great sports person. When I commented to Pat I was speaking in general terms about “people” I cared about, not necessarily kids. To be clear I wasn’t referring to this incident as cheating. I do believe respectfully it was less than honorable.
By the way, that post was written Friday midday before the game was ever played, the outcome of that game was and is irrelevant to my opinion and how it ultimately will impact the league.
I would also point out that I call them the way I see them both ways. I thought the game was professionally refereed. Some years ago I was also quite vocal on Chaparral’s behalf regarding a bad call by the refs that allowed a blind pick right in front of the crease that allowed a team to eliminate them from the playoffs. While some others might not agree with my opinion here, I want to reiterate my position is about honor first, winning second. I think a disservice was done even more to the players from Chaparral, if you would have given the girls a choice I believe it would have been much different. They would have chosen to play against a team that was at least the best they could have been under the circumstances. It is unfortunate that there wasn’t enough time to have a real meeting of the minds, I would like to believe if there had been it would have been much different.
Thank you again for your respectful opinion and response. Whether we agree or not the clear understanding of the other persons perspective is probably the best thing for the future of the league. Thank you as well for your passion and dedication to the sport. The fact that you responded proves it.
Roger
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 5:12 pm
Thank you too Floyd, you are one of the many people in the lacrosse community who have given so much time and effort to this great sport and to all the girls that participate.
Perhaps you are right regarding the 48 hour roster lock, so now there are 2 rules that prohibit teams from altering rosters. I think I’m confused as to who was dishonorable here. Was it the team representatives of the league who care enough to take time away from their own lives to respond to an emergency vote? Was it the parties that abstained from voting because they believed it was a conflict of interest to vote regardless of their opinion? Was it the executive committee that was trying to uphold the integrity of the written by-laws? Do you honestly believe that anyone didn’t want a fair game? Was there really an easy , clear cut right or wrong answer?
It is a shame that there wasn’t more time for all to discuss. It is a shame that Horizon couldnt play with their starting goalie. But I think it is also a shame to claim the final decision and the people that made it are dishonorable. You may not think its right, but dishonorable and a bad sports person?
Floyd
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 6:24 pm
Roger, I appreciate your passion. I’ll be as exact as I can, if you look back at my original comments you’ll find you have misrepresented exactly my words. In respect I stated their response was, “less than honorable.” I also stated that their actions “make them a less than great sportsperson.” I don’t mind having discussion, but if we do I would appreciate exact quotes to define a position.
For me it was absolutely a clear cut decision. You allow whatever team it is under those extreme circumstances to field the next best person for the job. Again, it is my understanding that the by laws have no representation of that exact scenario which is why an emergency vote was needed. I appreciate the time everyone has spent to help strengthen the league. However putting time in has no bearing on what may be a right or wrong decision. The integrity of the by laws as you stated were to insure that no team was given “an unfair advantage.” Clearly this scenario regarding Horizon could not be misconstrued to be considered an unfair advantage since they were missing their goalie. If the intent of the by laws were for that precise purpose then clearly Chaparral would be the team receiving an unfair advantage, but that’s not my point.
It could be that we grew up with very different values and views on sports and life. If we were boxers getting ready to start a match and you found out that someone stole my shoes, would you desire to me to have as good a pair as possible under the circumstances or would you be content to have me wear a pair you knew I couldn’t get any solid footing in? No one wants to win by default. It is an injustice, not just for the two sides, but for everyone involved in the league. Do you really think the action decided upon illuminates the league in a positive light? Again, I want to reiterate, everyone makes mistakes, me as much or more than most. To me it was clearly a mistake, if you see it differently I’m OK with it. I’d rather be clear about our perspectives than try to convince the other of a wrong one.
Roger
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 9:22 pm
As long as your shoes followed the guidelines set forth by the boxing federation, yes I would desire you to have those shoes. However if federation guidelines didn’t allow that shoe, the answer would be no. If you went to the federation and asked them to reconsider and they allowed the shoes, that would be fine. If the federation ruled the shoes were still not regulation, I would hope that you would accept their decision and come and put up the best fight that you could. If you lost the match, I would hope you would congratulate the winner, thank the officials and the federation, and go home and prepare yourself the best you can for the next match. Anyone that doesn’t follow that protocol could be perceived as “less than honorable” or “less than a great sportsperson”. Have a great day…
Floyd
Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 10:00 pm
I knew at some point we would come to the heart of the matter. It appears to me we have a fundamental difference of values, I really mean that with all due respect. The rules set forth by a governing body doesn’t make anything right or wrong, at least not in my estimation. Hitler was the government, would you agree with his philosophy? Of course not. In 1973 our government ruled that is was constitutional for people to terminate pregnancies. It doesn’t matter which side of the argument you land on. My point is that just because a governing body decides something doesn’t make it honorable, at least by the standards that I’m using. Please don’t take out of context my trying to make a point. The rules I’m describing are the ones written in our hearts. Even the rules of our constitution was based on something. In fact they were based on Biblical principles, the ones our forefathers used and described as “we hold these truths to be self evident.” In other words the rules written in the hearts of the authors. If our governing body decided the 2nd amendment was unconstitutional would you walk peacefully away from your rights as set forth in the constitution or would you hold the government in the same light as The ultimate power?
Out of respect for what I want this platform to be about I won’t respond further. I do respect you for your passion to stand up for what you believe. In the end we are on the same side. We want what is best for the league which is the girls, we just have a fundamental disagreement on how to get there. I won’t be there, I pray you and the rest of the league do the just thing. Thanks Roger, let me know if you have time, I’d enjoy a cup of coffee.
Roger
Thursday, May 19, 2011 @ 7:41 am
Thanks Floyd for allowing me to voice my opinion on your blog. Thank you for the opportunity to have the last say. I appreciate your passion for writing and your beliefs. I don’t have the gift of words as you do. However if I can give a little literary criticism. Although your comparisons to an athletes shoes or to Hitler make for interesting reading, they are not really true comparisons. Let me make a comparison that might be more relevant. Northwestern and Maryland are facing off in the NCAA championship game. Maryland’s goalie is injured in the playoff game and can’t play in the championship. Maryland is now at a disadvantage. Maryland’s club lacrosse team has a standout goalie they would like to use, or maybe they can borrow the goalie at UMBC. NCAA rules don’t allow that. Maryland relies on their plan B for this situation. They move their top midfielder to the defense and the defense steps up their game. Northwestern still puts up the best team that they have. They battle it out on the field. One team wins, one team loses, both of them do it graciously.
All sports organizations have rules that everyone has to follow. Some rules might not be right for everyone. The goal is to make that rule the correct rule for most. Rules are constantly changing. Difficult situations arise that may not have been thought out when the original rule was made. Difficult decisions need to be made that sometimes might not please all. Is the rule regarding the roster for D1 and D2 teams in the AZGL the correct rule? I agree that it could be up for debate. Was it the rule that was in effect at the time of this emergency? Yes it was, and the fine people that volunteer their time and efforts to make this league a better one, voted not once, but brought in another group to vote again, that this was the honorable thing to do.
Thanks for praying for myself and the league, we can use all the positive help we can get! A collaboration of people with different ideas can make great things happen.
brad gore
Monday, May 23, 2011 @ 3:25 pm
Just name one living creature thats been around longer than a gator. I’ve acted as if I had the I.Q. of a carrot. Probably still do at times. Great story. Laugh and learn.
Floyd
Monday, May 23, 2011 @ 6:52 pm
You got me! I rarely laugh out loud, it’s usually just a smile. “The I.Q. of a carrot”! THAT WAS TO GOOD!!!!!!!
jake
Thursday, May 26, 2011 @ 8:50 pm
I’m totally ashamed of some of the things I’ve said and done in the heat of the moment. It isn’t like the other person didn’t deserve the action but still.. are you freaking kidding me? But it’s great to be able to go back and make things better after we’ve made a mistake. Entirely better!
Floyd
Thursday, May 26, 2011 @ 10:37 pm
At least we have the heart from God to have the desire to back and do so. Even if He drags the likes of us kicking and screaming!