seasonal dreams

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I still have seasonal dreams about him… guess I always will. The dreams are always good, the awakening is just the mind opening the eyes to real life and the reality of another day. The dreams of him remind me of my responsibility as a man to God, my wife, kids, family, friends, and community.

I kinda dread May… I dream about him more this time of year, I think about him more. The fierce emotional pain isn’t like it was that May two years ago… but that kind of emotional reality leaves us changed forever. If innocence is lost with youth, then reality is defined with this type of loss.

This week marks the second anniversary of my dad leaving this physical world. I’ve shared before that while I’m still here physically, a piece of my soul, spirit, or heart, whatever you want to call it, went with my dad. He didn’t take it, he never would, I freely gave it…

For those of us who know the Father know, He changes us from the inside out. As He gives freely we begin to change, we become more than flesh and instinct, we become a little more like the chosen of our Father. Demanding or taking from others is the instinct of the fallen flesh. The gratification is fleeting for the taker and nonexistent in the one sacrificing.

The contrast of that fallen scenario is the free will gift from God. He could take, but that wouldn’t be perfect and no one would be gratified or satisfied. True peace and joy come from the Father through giving and sacrifice and the completion of our joy won’t be realized this side of heaven.

I was blessed by my heavenly Father through my earthly one. My dad taught me these basic things, not just in words, but in action. Maybe the dreams of my dad are reminders from God about who He’s called me to be? Maybe He’s using them to give me a proper perspective of this world?

If nothing else, the dreams remind me of the reality of this life that isn’t as long as I once thought in my youth, and that each of us use the gift from God of free will to give a deposit from our heart. The deposit reserves our place in eternity.

My deposit is with the God of God and the Lord of Lords. I know that “He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day.” I also know that my dad will be there to give back what I freely gave him two years ago this week…

The pieces of our hearts we give in love, God replaces with Himself.