SEASONAL DREAMS
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I still have seasonal dreams about him… guess I always will. The dreams are always good, the awakening is just the mind opening the eyes to real life and the reality of another day. The dreams of him remind me of my responsibility as a man to God, my wife, kids, family, friends, and community.
I kinda dread May… I dream about him more this time of year, I think about him more. The fierce emotional pain isn’t like it was that May two years ago… but that kind of emotional reality leaves us changed forever. If innocence is lost with youth, then reality is defined with this type of loss.
This week marks the second anniversary of my dad leaving this physical world. I’ve shared before that while I’m still here physically, a piece of my soul, spirit, or heart, whatever you want to call it, went with my dad. He didn’t take it, he never would, I freely gave it…
For those of us who know the Father know, He changes us from the inside out. As He gives freely we begin to change, we become more than flesh and instinct, we become a little more like the chosen of our Father. Demanding or taking from others is the instinct of the fallen flesh. The gratification is fleeting for the taker and nonexistent in the one sacrificing.
The contrast of that fallen scenario is the free will gift from God. He could take, but that wouldn’t be perfect and no one would be gratified or satisfied. True peace and joy come from the Father through giving and sacrifice and the completion of our joy won’t be realized this side of heaven.
I was blessed by my heavenly Father through my earthly one. My dad taught me these basic things, not just in words, but in action. Maybe the dreams of my dad are reminders from God about who He’s called me to be? Maybe He’s using them to give me a proper perspective of this world?
If nothing else, the dreams remind me of the reality of this life that isn’t as long as I once thought in my youth, and that each of us use the gift from God of free will to give a deposit from our heart. The deposit reserves our place in eternity.
My deposit is with the God of Gods and the Lord of Lords. I know that “He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day.” I also know that my dad will be there to give back what I freely gave him two years ago this week…
The pieces of our hearts we give in love, God replaces with Himself.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 9:11 am
“…replaces with Himself” Oh how I long to be redeemed in total. I want my flesh to be conformed in every way.
Sorry for your loss – I know the Bible tells us that “we are like grass” but it is not a concept that we freely embrace until we are older and see that it is true. By the time we realize the value of our lives and those of others, we wish we would have been able to ascribe that value earlier.
So Glad God can fill up the holes. What a wonderful, heart-felt expression of love you have described for all of us. What a wonderful way to honor your father and …your Heavenly Father. Thank you.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 9:39 am
Thanks Nancy. Well said with tender wisdom. I appreciate it more than you know.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 11:14 am
I lost my father 10 years ago and it was a hard season of life. However God came into my life and became my Father, He also sent father figures into my life. I wish I was able to know my dad more but at least I have my Father I can spend time with. I’ll see my father again in Heaven though:)
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 2:16 pm
Absolutely Dan. Like you, I’m looking forward to seeing mine again in heaven. Our heavenly Father does seem to take all things upon Himself for us.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 12:32 pm
You shared one of my favorite verses. I trust that God is keeping everything until that day. I’m sure our fathers are fishing right now, can’t wait to hear the stories they will tell us someday!
I’ll be thinking/praying of you this week, I know anniversaries like this are bitter sweet.
Thank for allowing us all to share in your memories. God bless you.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 2:18 pm
Thanks TC. And thank you for sharing your memories and blessings with all of us. God bless you in your life now.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 5:33 pm
I am glad your father was a good example and that your memories of him are good ones. Those who do not have memories of a tender father can at least understand that God is our heavenly father and he is one that can be trusted in every area of our lives. My dad was tender at times but I remember mostly the harshness and fear that I did not want to “cross” him. In his later life he was more kind and loving. He is with the Lord and my mother is now with him too.
Friday, May 11, 2012 @ 11:13 pm
I am the lucky ones. I say that even though I don’t really believe in luck. I am one of the weaker souls, the ones He goes easier on because He made me less in many ways… In my understanding of my weakness I find His strength. It is a paradigm to the lost of this world. My earthly father directed me to our Heavenly Father. If not for my parents, by God’s hand, I don’t know where I would have landed. Thanks Hazel, God bless.
Sunday, May 13, 2012 @ 2:39 pm
It sounds like your dad was an amazing example. It’s so hard losing a loved one and I can’t imagine losing a parent although I know I will experience it sooner than I would prefer with my mom’s health the way it is. I love your last line here. So very true that anything we give in love He does replace with Himself. It reminds me of my word for this year – sufficient. He is sufficient and more.
Monday, May 14, 2012 @ 8:57 am
Thanks Amy, and I like that word, “sufficient.” It is more than we can even grasp in our flesh I think.
Monday, May 14, 2012 @ 4:18 pm
No, the completion of our joy won’t be realized until some glad morning when we fly away, but the promise of it keeps us working out our own salvation. May and Mother’s Day holds some tough times for me as well, my beloved grandfather died Mother’s Day weekend at the young age of 64 and my father tried to end his life on Mother’s Day when I was 14. I’ve struggled every May since we had our first son 19 years ago, but I can finally say that his year was filled with the peace that surpasses all understanding. Best mother’s day ever, I think it’s because I realized it’s not about my grandpa or my dad, but about God’s amazing blessings.
Monday, May 14, 2012 @ 5:28 pm
Good for you Audra! I’m encouraged by your spirit, it is all about His amazing blessings.