ROSES AND TIME
“Well I’ll be”! … I thought to myself as I read the words, “Confirm Friend Request.” I was a little surprised to be honest. I would have never thought that some of those people would want anything to do with me. There are givers and takers in life, I don’t think too many of us balance that scale equally too often, me not often enough.
I’ve known some very good and kind people in my life, those adjectives usually describe the givers. I’m more inclined to be a taker… Takers don’t get the flowery words to describe their lives or personalities. The words to describe the takers are easier to say and a whole lot shorter and easier to spell.
Excitement and even some hint of danger mark the the lives of takers, kinda like a train wreck; even though we can’t quit watching, we know there is a good chance of injury when we’re standing too close. Free will is about choices, and more than a few givers have made the wrong ones and end up living with the scars of collateral damage from the lives of the locomotive takers.
I requested a friend a while back, knew her since fourth grade. We went to the same church, our dads did business together. We even live in the same city and neighborhood a couple hundred miles from where we grew up. No response… crickets chirping… She’s a smart girl, or lady now I guess. She knows people rarely change and I’m not gonna lie and tell the world I’m no longer a taker- not like I was, but God’s still working on me. People have no power to change themselves, God does.
Somewhere along the way I’ve learned not just from my life, but the lives of others as well, when the train wrecks it does as much or more damage to the engine car. I’ve also learned there is more risk in being the giver, but a giver with a pure heart and the right perspective has infinitely more power than the locomotive taker, the power and peace of God within.
Bright stars burn out faster, fast cars have a shorter life, and beauty fades, like a beautiful flower. We remember well the takers from our lives, they leave lasting memories. Sometimes those memories cut like the thorn of a rose long after the blossom is gone. We can recall the bright red rose in all of it’s glory, we can even remember how we felt inside decades before.
God and time have a way of reshaping the takers. Sometimes those old takers can become eloquent givers. As humans we’re not like a flower or a rose, we get a little more time, another chance. A chance to spread beauty on the inside, not just the outside. A chance to give…
A choice to cherish and consider…
Roses and time…
TC Avey
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 8:06 am
Great reminder that as long as there is breath in us, God still has a purpose for our lives. Daily we can allow Him to mold us into His image. We cannot become “better” in our own limited power- we must surrender our will to His on a daily basis.
I am a work in progress- I fail daily but daily His grace suffices. Thanks for being open and honest with your readers.
God bless you in your walk with Christ. It’s not easy being a giver…
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 8:18 am
Thanks TC. Honesty is painful sometimes, but how can we attempt to allow change to happen without it? We all fail daily, but His grace is more than enough. Well said.
April
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 9:17 am
I remember takers in my life and have been blessed that one of them has become a gracious giver in my life for the most part. I think we are all a work in progress when it comes to this. Great words!
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:49 pm
Thanks April, I guess we’re all a work in progress, unfortunately it never seems to end this side of heaven!
Pat Bowling
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 9:32 am
“…as long as there is breath in us, God still has a purpose for our lives.” T.C.
I couldn’t have said it better!
It takes a great deal of courage to admit to being a taker – proof of what God has done in you. Great post!
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:51 pm
Thanks Pat, I’m a work in progress, but the first step is looking truthfully at our weaknesses. It does get easier as I get older, then again, wisdom does come with time when we’re paying attention.
Dan Black
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 12:18 pm
Some people take and others give. I have found a person who takes drains you while a person who gives brings encouragement and energy into your life. I focus on being around those who freely give and I try and be a person who does the same thing. Great post.
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:52 pm
Good point Dan, I’m with you. I don’t want to be one of those people that suck the life out of those around me, it’s an ugly trait to be sure. Thanks.
Jay Cookingham
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 1:12 pm
Appreciate the honesty bro’…but it seems to me that a “taker” wouldn’t admit to being one. Perhaps the Father has done more in your life than you realize. In any case…I think He loves your heart bro’…as do I.
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:53 pm
Oh man, thanks Jay. Your kind words warm my spirit. You are definitely a giver my friend…
Hazel Moon
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 5:26 pm
When I was about to marry and leave home, my Uncle Clarence who lived with our family remarked that the rose bush of marriage has many thorns in it. Being a smart alec 18 year old, I told him, “There are NO thorns in our rose bush.” Well I was almost right. There were a few but not too many. Perhaps it was because we tried to be givers and not takers! What ya think?
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:55 pm
I think you and your husband are most definitely givers! I thank you for all that you give to me with your heart felt wisdom. It is a gift from God.
Voni Harris
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 5:39 pm
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only work-in-progress! Our trials shape and sift those aspects of our personality that God knows need pruning and sifting. Not ready to praise God for that, yet, but I trust Him.
Blessings,
Voni
Floyd
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 6:57 pm
Well thanks for your honesty Voni! That’s a great add to the analogy, “Pruning and sifting.” Very well said. It’s nice to have company isn’t it?
Kris
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 7:39 pm
Wow Floyd! This was especially meaningful, also since you were a spectator, in a funny way, to my latest “train wreck”. I really don’t think there was damage to the engine car! Life is about choices, sometimes givers chose with their hearts…therin lies the danger. Great to see you the other night!
Floyd
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 8:03 am
Thanks Kris. It was good to see you too. I’ve been involved in so many train wrecks in my own life, it gives me compassion for those going through one. It isn’t easy, but it does give us wisdom if we’re looking for it. I think your situation could have been worse if it wasted more of your precious time. It’s all about perspective… and God’s in the business of perspective change!
Nancy
Monday, March 26, 2012 @ 8:24 pm
We are the head and NOT the tail…we are above and NOT beneath…we are before and NOT behind….God says so. But in order to operate in that, I have found that it takes everything that we think we are, even all the “good” we think we have, to be laid at the feet of Jesus. As HE molds us into His image and after His likeness ( of course that is never overnight) then He can start the “adding back” process. He promised me that HE would restore all the “years that the locust had eaten and the canker worm had destroyed”. You know, it has taken a long while, but I ca honestly say it is coming to pass. Looks like it is for you too! His work is always marvelous. Who wouldn’t want to be around you????
Floyd
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 8:06 am
Thank you Nancy. I can be a bit on the intense side, or so I’ve heard. God’s wisdom is gained with time and no, it’s not an overnight process to say the least! The more we know, the more we know we are left lacking. It is His grace and mercy that leave us humbly at peace in Him.
Jason Stasyszen
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 11:35 am
I’m glad you’re a giver in my life. You have brought encouragement in so many ways and I appreciate you, Floyd. I’m blown away at how God puts people together.
And we all have to learn to be both givers and takers (no matter what our natural inclination might be). That’s what it means to be in a relationship with someone. Those who can’t do that have lives littered with a lot of failed attempts. Good stuff, Floyd.
Floyd
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 4:47 pm
Thanks Jason. I say the same thing about you. I told you sometime ago that you really had an impact on how I pursued writing publicly and the heart behind it. “Littered with a lot of failed attempts.” Well said my friend. Well said.
Audra Krell
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 11:42 am
I think you sell yourself short too, I love what a respectful giver you are. This reminds me of my current favorite song, Tim McGraw’s “Better than I used to be.” My favorite line is where he sings :”I’m learning who you’ve been, Ain’t who you’ve got to be.” If you haven’t heard it, google the lyrics because I’m pretty sure someone wrote the song about you. And me. All of us pretty much.
Floyd
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 4:49 pm
Wow! Thanks Audra. I gotta hear that song! We can change, it just takes a new perspective and a desire… from up above is the only sure way to get there I think.
Amy
Saturday, December 20, 2014 @ 10:23 am
Floyd,
I don’t usually comment on your stuff, even though I read it every day. It’s not because I don’t like it, because in fact, in my world of many trails and tribulations, I find it funny or relieving how many of the things you say throughout these blogs I can directly apply to my given situation at the time I am reading them.
But I am compelled to reply to this. You say you are a taker. And while that may be true, I don’t know you well enough to determine more than what I’ve seen on the surface the few times we have met. But I have to let you know that even if you believe yourself to be more of a taker, I suspect that you’re closer to balancing that scale than you realize. You only know of me what I have shared with you, which, in fact, is just the tip of a very big iceberg. Being very honest and not intending to reflect self-pity I have to let you know, to further the point of this comment, that it is a very sad and tall struggle and pain filled iceberg at that. You came into my life, I believe sent by God. On some level. I believe there was a reason, and I believe part of that reason is the conversations we share and some of the content in your blogs. But I also believe he sent you at a time I needed you most. You gave me something I haven’t had in a couple years, and with my accident leaving me the way it has, I would have been otherwise unable to obtain. You gave me an opportunity, and one that has allowed my family to put food in the fridge when otherwise it would have literally been empty. You gave my family a Christmas we would not have had this year had it not been for that opportunity. You have been giving me a different perspective on what I feel is nothing but misery. I could keep listing the little things that you have given me, and in turn my family, but it could get lengthy. I just really needed to make a point to you that you’re less of a taker than you think yourself to be. And if I am correct in my belief that like many other little signs, God sent you to my door,I am willing to bet he has sent you to others as well, and even though you may not know because maybe you were theirs for only a day as opposed to a season, in some way, little or maybe even huge, you gave something to those people too. I think I am probably right in saying you have balanced that scale and have nothing to feel bad about for anything you took from anyone in the past.
Thanks Floyd