REMEMBERING TO COUNT THE BLESSINGS
I thought I had a stressful morning, that is until I had an up close glance at someone else’s. Backing out of the garage took a little longer than normal and the extra time we’d allocated for as little stress as possible on the morning drive to school was disappearing like a magic trick.
The mirrors on my truck that is already a wide ride make the entering and especially exiting from my garage a little tricky, especially for an inexperienced and barely-fifteen-and-a-half-year-old-driver. “Stop! – Look at the mirror! You’re gonna rip it off! – Pull back that way!” I pointed ahead and to the right.
After a couple failed attempts to get out of the garage my youngest pleaded in desperation and frustration, “Why don’t you just get it out for me?”
“No – that’s part of it – you gotta do it!” I answered.
Stress doesn’t lessen much when you’re driving with a newbie and no brakes or steering wheel located on the passenger side of the vehicle, although that doesn’t keep the teacher from stomping on the floor board as if brakes were really there.
It doesn’t help that the driving lesson and experience being gained by my little one is on mean metropolitan streets of the sixth largest city in the U.S. As unlikely as it is, there’s a school bus that ends up smack next to us almost daily – the very same one that has as much or more trouble as my daughter keeping the oversized behemoth in their own lane, to add to my stress.
We made the last right turn onto the six-lane surface street and my daughter worked her way over to the far left lane for a turn onto the street her school is located on. She’s better with her proper signals and lane changes than her lazy dad.
The last car finally ran through the yellow light as we sat like ducks waiting to turn… no big surprise since Phoenix does top the nation in yellow and red light runners… “Quick, babe! – Hit it!” I said as calmly as possible trying to expedite our exit from the would be entrance to eternity.
We made the turn and were into the “15 MPH School Zone” in short order. I’ve come to really appreciate those lower speeds when everybody is obeying them. My little one pulled over the hard to judge truck with the oversized off-road tires perfectly next to the curb. “Good job, babe – you did good,” I said. “Thanks, dad,” she smiled knowing she did. I exhaled a set of lungs full of stress as I got out in front of the school to take over the reins… and real brake.
I immediately heard the screaming – it didn’t take long to assess the situation as my daughter came around the back of the truck to meet me at the curb with wide eyes of dismay. The young girl in the car behind us screamed at her mom from the top of her lungs one more time for good measure, “I HATE YOU!!!”
I kissed my daughter on the side of her head like I do every time I drop her off, “Love you, babe. Have a great day,” I said. “Thanks, dad. Love you too,” she answered.
The stress on the face of the mom of the screaming girl, as she mumbled to herself, read like the big “E” on the eye chart. It reminded me that we “will all have trouble in this world,” but it also reminded me not to forget to count the blessings in my own life.
Amy Nabors
Sunday, February 23, 2014 @ 8:50 pm
Great reminder. So easy to forget to stop & give thanks. And I’ll be in your shoes next year with my son when he gets his learner’s permit. Oh goodness are you ever ready for that as a parent?
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 5:52 pm
No!!! Is the answer to your question! A resounding no! This is my third and I have to confess it gets harder with age to teach them to drive. I was better ten years ago with the oldest for sure. Talk about faith! Your son’s a great one and I think you’ll be just fine… and send up a prayer each time he gets behind that wheel. I need to remember that. Thanks, Amy. Great to hear from you, sister.
Betty Draper
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 12:17 am
Every parent must take courage by the hand as they try to keep patience teaching their children how to drive. How we need to give them the freedom to fail at times, someone did for us. How sad for the mother in the other car, no parents ask for those hurtful words from their child. I so remember the first time I saw my daughter roll her eyes while I was correcting her. It was then I knew we had hit that stage where she thought we knew nothing and she knew everything. So when I hear my daughter correct her teen the same way I did her, I am thankful. I know my daughter never thought back then she and I would be best friends someday and to be honest in some of those troubling times I never thought it either. Now I trust my daughter to drive me anywhere. Good post brother…you might want to soak that foot that kept stomping on an air brake, they can get pretty sore..hehe.
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 5:55 pm
Your reaping the benefits of your commitment as a mom that serves our Father first. How awesome that is for you to have that kind of relationship with your kids. It’s a tough time when they’re that age… and tough on our feet! I might have to use your advice and soak my foot! Thanks for sharing that wisdom, Betty. Sometimes hearing that kind of story puts things into a better heavenly perspective.
Bill (cycelguy)
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 3:52 am
You handled it well Floyd and the kiss and words “I love you” at the end were the icing. If I was a betting man (I’m not) I would be willing to bet your daughter learned a whole lot more than the other girl in many ways. I hate you vs. I love you. wonder which one I would take?
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 5:58 pm
Good call, Bill. Sometimes it’s not as easy as others to say those things and do those things, but we do, because it is true and I’m old enough to know that it all adds up to blessings when done with the right heart. Thanks, Bill.
Jason Stasyszen
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 10:00 am
As stressful as life gets, there are others going through more. Pressure tells us to focus everything we’ve got on getting out of whatever it is, but that’s when we get the opportunity to take a breath and count those blessings. Great reminder, Floyd. Thank you.
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 5:59 pm
I’m with you, Jason. Sometimes when we’re paying attention we get that reminder. The world is under pressure and our peace and joy comes from He who resides within. Thanks, Jason.
Ceil
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 11:26 am
Hi Floyd! How blessed are you to have such a great relationship with your daughter, and she with you. It absolutely is stressful to ride in the passenger seat while our young teenagers drive. I pump my foot on the floor hoping to find that extra brake pedal, but of course I never find it!
Teenage drama and questionable parenting is always disturbing. Who knows what the Mom said to that girl to make her ‘hate’ her Mom. Maybe she can’t go to the mall today? But continual love and prayer is the answer, and you mirror that to your little one every day. And to anyone else who hears or sees you.
Hope the shoulder is doing ok, and you are surviving PT!
Ceil
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:02 pm
I can tell you’re no veteran to those imaginary brakes, Ceil! It’s a tough time for kids, and that problem and attitude happened fro that mom and daughter a long time before that morning… still breaks my heart for both of them. Love and prayer with action are the direct hand of God. Good call there, Ceil.
Survived my first day of PT… and only screamed for ten minutes of it!
Barb Raveling
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 3:21 pm
Ah, this brings back all those great memories of teaching kids to drive. 🙂 Our first son who didn’t drive til he was 18 because he rode his bike everywhere. The second son who couldn’t understand why we didn’t like to drive since it was so fun. The next daughter who took every back road she could get her hands on so she could avoid the 5 stoplights in our town and who screamed every time she had to cross Main Street.
And then our youngest driving through the “big city” (Missoula) with me in the passenger seat and the guy in the truck on the other side of her rolling down his window to yell at her (because I had forgotten to tell her she was supposed to turn), then looking guilty when he saw it was a teenage girl. Such fun memories!
You sound like a great dad, Floyd. Such a blessing for your daughters and your wife as well. Good job, Dad!
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:05 pm
Those are great memories! I have some great ones with the older two, but they weren’t so great at the time! They’re all a little different and all a blessing, even with the stress. Truth is my wife is the glue and the wisdom for all of us. Amazing how often the voice of reason sounds like her voice! Thanks, Barb. Missoula is probably getting big!
child of God
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 4:48 pm
Good for you! Giving driving lessons can be very stressful. I say you are a dad that rocks.
We are in the process of the oldest learning to drive in town and I am so thankful it is a small town with only one highway. I think about myself and learning to drive in Toronto on the 401, a superhighway. At the time I couldn’t figure out why my dad was so tense, now, though, as I think about teaching my kids there I can totally understand his fear. 😛
Blessings brother.
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:19 pm
Glad to know I’m not alone! Toronto! Yeah! That’s stress! It’s funny how the stressful times done together bring us closer together, another bond built tough times. It doesn’t feel like it, but they are some of the best blessings! It just doesn’t feel like it! Be safe, have fun. Bless you and yours, sister.
Wanda
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 5:59 pm
Sitting on the passenger seat as a newbie driver takes the reign can be so stressful. I cringe just thinking about a little driving lesson I had with my niece and nephew. But you are right we can always find something to be grateful.
Floyd
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:23 pm
Oh yeah, you know that stress! The blessings really are everywhere, I just forget to look for them. That’s usually when I see or hear one when being forced to! What a wonderful perspective to walk through life with; gratefulness. Thanks, Wanda.
Hazel Moon
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:26 pm
What a blessed story. Your daughter did good even with your heavy foot on the floorboard. I remember only once telling my mother I hated her, and she sat me down quick. You probably remember reading that story in book one. She explained how words spoken are not easily taken back like the feathers in a pillow and then try to put them all back. The one receiving the remarks will never forget them no matter how much you repent and say you are sorry, so let that be a lesson to you she told me. I don’t think I have ever said those words to anyone else and I did certainly learn from that. Poor mother to have a daughter who would shout so loudly at school for everyone to hear. I hope she was able to use wisdom to help her poor daughter with “NO class.” Thanks for sharing this with us here at Tell me a Story.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 5:51 pm
I absolutely remember your story! Your mother was a wise lady and a blessing to you and you to yours. And so goes the generations of the chosen. I felt bad for that mom, although I knew that incident was being formed long before that morning. Thanks, Hazel.
Pam
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 6:56 pm
It is so evident that you have built a strong relationship with your daughter, Floyd. After witnessing the mother/daughter scene at the school, I am sure that your daughter was every bit as thankful for the relationship you two share as you were.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 5:53 pm
Your right, Pam. My daughter was shocked! She’s not perfect, and even less so is her dad, but we have been blessed to have a bit of wisdom and love to share – the best part of life! Thanks, Pam.
I’ll be getting to fed-ex tomorrow! Sorry for the delay!
Dan Black
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 7:51 pm
Great word here! Amen. I’ve found God daily blesses us, we just need to keep an eye out for them. We often can tend to lean toward what we don’t have or the difficult days. During those times we need to stop and take time to look around at the blessings God has given us. Thanks for writing such a great post!
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 5:54 pm
Thanks, Dan. That’s great advice. We need to seek out our blessings and when we do we realize they’re right in front of our noses and smack in the middle of our soul!
Lincoln Parks
Monday, February 24, 2014 @ 9:44 pm
My wife and I were just talking about this very same thing Floyd. Its such a blessing that we get to Love our kids like we do. My daughter is only 8 but I know she will soon be 15 and driving me and I will be in your position. Its so awesome to know the relationship you have with your Children. Thanks for sharing such a great real life story.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 5:56 pm
You’re gonna have a blast! Stressed, but a blast! This is number three for me and I have to admit I was less nervous with the oldest ten years ago! Getting old is a reality, my friend! But a blessing all the same. Enjoy the gift of your wonderful family, Lincoln. I know you do.. you bring them and our Father honor. Thanks, Lincoln.
Lisa notes
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 8:15 am
Whew–those days of teaching kids to drive can be exasperating. I remember them too. Wondering if mirrors will get knocked off; if mailboxes will get hit; if you’ll ever get on to the interstate. ha. Sounds like you did well if your daughter ended up in smiles!
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 5:58 pm
It’s a balance to get there without tears sometimes, but I have to give her credit, she’s savvy and strong like her mom and sisters. Maybe a tad on the stubborn side as well… not sure where she got that one! Thanks, Lisa. They really are wonderful memories aren’t they?
tcavey
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 11:57 am
Just last week I took a step back from my “problems” and realized, they aren’t that bad. Yes, they hurt. Yes, I’m ready to move past some of these trials, but compared to so many other peoples trials, mine aren’t that bad.
It got me to thinking about how God uses the gentlest pressure needed to get our attention or do whatever it is He is doing in our lives.
Sometimes it seems like an earthquake has shaken our very foundation, but other times the gentlest wind can feel like a tornado. No matter what, we must trust God. He won’t let us go and He won’t let us drown, but we must trust Him.
Another wise post.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:00 pm
Those are profound and wise words as well, TC. You have a way of grasping the heart of an issue and fold and flatten it out nicely to be shared and learned. Thanks, TC. May the gentle wind of our Father blow peace and joy into your soul.
tcavey
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:04 pm
Thanks, Floyd. May God continue to use you to touch lives through your writings as well. You truly have a gift for words. God bless you with joy and silliness.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:09 pm
See!!! I knew silliness was a gift! Well, my friend – I can say I’m truly gifted then! Thanks, TC. Those are kind words of encouragement. Thanks, and be encouraged as well for using your gift of encouragement. It is a wonderful gift.
tcavey
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:36 pm
well, not that I’m an expert, but I think silliness is a gift. Far too many people take themselves too seriously. God has a sense of humor (at least I think so). Life’s too short to be so serious. Why not be goofy, laugh and sometimes make a complete idiot of yourself? It’s what I do on a regular basis (the idiot part at least) 🙂
Betty Jo
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 1:12 pm
My heart goes out to the lady with the screaming teen. On the other hand, I just rejoice and thank Jesus for the relationship you have with your daughter Floyd. My son just posted on Facebook, a family photo I took of them this past weekend, thanking God that he has been so blessed with such a wonderful family. It’s men like you, my son, and my late husband, that just make my heart sing with joy because you’re able to “show” God’s love to your families, and then express it to anyone who will listen!! Bless you brother!!
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:03 pm
I probably wouldn’t have been too good at expressing myself when I was younger. I guess our Father knew what my family would need. That is so great to hear about your son! I see your fingerprints through the lives of all of your family, Betty Jo. Our Father has used you mightily. I so appreciate your humility… you don’t even see it… that’s what makes it so perfect a gift from God. Thanks for sharing your heart, sister.
Ngina Otiende
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 3:10 pm
Your post reminds me of my husband teaching me to drive (yes I learned to drive that late!) I tried his patience in all possible levels 🙂 Right now I can’t imagine teaching someone else to drive…it’s soo stressful!
That was a sad way to end/start a morning for mother and daughter. Amen to counting our blessings. Your post has reminded me to thank my husband once again for his love and patience with me 🙂 It’s important to keep counting and reminding ourselves of these blessings.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:05 pm
It really is a blessing to count ours. As soon as we ponder them, they fall around us like water in the shower of our Father’s love. It’s wisdom that looks for them. Thanks, Ngina. Remind me which city you’re in so I can be on the look out in case I make it there!
Rick Dawson
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 4:05 pm
I don’t believe I’ve even flinched when I’ve sat in the passenger seat and my sons drove me around on visits back to the coast, but I can’t imagine being the mom in the other vehicle – never said it to my folks, never heard it from my kids.
Of all the stressors going on in my life right now – there are a few 🙂 – I’ve not had to wonder about whether or not I am loved in a long time.
Floyd
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 6:06 pm
I’d say that is one beautiful blessing, Rick. How wonderful that you see it daily – says a lot about your wisdom and love as well, Rick. Thanks for sharing, brother. I’m praying for you, Rick.
Caleb Suko
Tuesday, February 25, 2014 @ 8:03 pm
What a contrast! I could complain about many things but when it comes down to it I am very blessed too! Thanks for the reminder Floyd.
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:08 pm
It really is the simplest things that we too often take for granted, isn’t it? I’m with you, Caleb.
David
Wednesday, February 26, 2014 @ 8:29 pm
I’m still a couple of years from having to teach my youngest to drive. If my ole ’94 Corolla 5-speed survives (it’s got over 185,00 miles now) I’ll be teaching him to drive a clutch, the worst part is the passenger side doesn’t come with the imaginary clutch either! Yet I’m a firm believer that everyone should learn to drive a clutch even if they never own a car with a manual transmission later. You never know when you might have to be the emergency driver for someone …
Sadly, I’ve heard many kids throw the proverbial “I hate you” at their folks. All we can do is love ’em even more!
David
Wednesday, February 26, 2014 @ 8:31 pm
That’s 185,000 miles, but you probably figured that out … 🙂
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:12 pm
I figured that. That car’s gonna go double that!
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:12 pm
I’m with you on the manual transmission, David! I haven’t had one in so many years I might have forgotten by now, but that was the rule when we were kids, “If you can’t drive a stick, you can’t drive…” It gives the driver a better feel for the car, the engine and the whole process. Good for you, David! Too bad you don’t have that imaginary clutch and brake! Thanks, David.
David
Saturday, March 1, 2014 @ 12:22 pm
Just like riding a bike, it comes back to you before you know it …
Floyd
Saturday, March 1, 2014 @ 1:22 pm
Yep. Good analogy!
Joanne Norton
Thursday, February 27, 2014 @ 7:16 pm
I sure understood a lot of what you shared…from the outside mirror issue while driving ways that can knock them off, wanting to have the brakes on the passenger side so I could hit time. Often, when dealing with my kids, my Ugandan son, my grandkids, my legs would be filled with intensity while wanting to keep things going in the right direction, right speed, etc. THEN, in your case, to have your heart filled with love and appreciation at the same time another parent was being treated with hatred, you were/are significantly blessed. Really good to hear how this played out. Happy for you. VERY happy for you.
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:30 pm
I am way blessed. It just takes something like that sometimes to remind me of all I have… more than I could ever have imagined. You know that helpless feeling and a lungs full of stress! That’s one you don’t forget!
Loren Pinilis
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 9:08 am
Well, I have a few years before I have to worry about this. But I hope I handle it with the same grace that you did.
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:36 pm
You will, brother… and then some… Thanks, man.
SimplyDarlene
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 4:22 pm
Count your blessings and next time try it on a tandem bike – ya know – for hiccups and giggles.
Don’t forget ye helmets! 😉
Blessings.
Floyd
Friday, February 28, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
I’m old enough to not care what it looks like! I might start wearing a crash helmet in the car! Funny girl. I appreciate that! Thanks, Darlene!
Rachael
Sunday, March 9, 2014 @ 8:17 pm
Such a hard one to hear! I am heading into those teen years and will be grasping for grace every moment I am sure. Driving lessons in our own home are coming quickly and I am actually looking forward to that. My husband’s car is pretty banged up thanks to me backing out of the garage so I won’t be doing those lessons since I am not even allowed to back out myself anymore:) Blessings Floyd! Rachael
Floyd
Sunday, March 9, 2014 @ 9:47 pm
You sound like my wife! My wife used to use the garage wall as a curb stop! I knew early on that it would be me doing the teaching… but then for some of us offspring of hillbillies, learning how to drive is right up there with readin’ and arithmetic! Course in my youth that meant manual trannies and dirt roads! On second thought, maybe it would have been better for my wife to have taught the girls… Thanks, Rachael. May our Father place your children in His protective hands. Thanks, sister.