MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL
I think most of us as children had an idea of who we were going to be, or at least wanted to be when we grew up. Many of us had a vague picture of what we would be, others had a vivid picture of what our “someday” selves would be.
Of course Hollywood or storybook influences might have been a bit far-fetched. I think most of us also had an idea of who we were going to be on the inside as well as the outside. We had the expectations of our ideals and character.
All the character traits we may have struggled with as a child would somehow magically disappear with age, maturity, and time, we’d be the people with the traits that great stories are made of. In short, I think we pictured ourselves inside and out as strong people of character with the charm of a lead character in a book or movie.
I’m curious how close others came to their ideal selves inside and out? My hunch is that we had a better chance at the outside than the inside…
One of the problems might have been the age we pictured ourselves. For me, while I didn’t know the specific age, I think my overly optimistic vision was around 25 years old. Not that there’s anything wrong with being 25 years old, it’s just typically the age life is beginning, not the picture of the rest of our lives.
My guess is not many of us looked too far beyond that age or picture. One of the problems related with our visions of ourselves, at least for me, was the fact that there was no one else in the vision, just me…
I fully acknowledge that at a young age when life is making us concentrate on what we’re going to do for school and career, it’s tough to think about being selfless. I also think given enough time our perceptions change and we begin to look beyond the surface of our skin.
I heard a song by Third Day titled, “Born Again” the other day, I hadn’t heard it for awhile. The opening lines hit me similar to when I heard it the first time.
Today I found myself
After searching for all these years
And the man that I saw, mirror mirror…
Wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be…
As I looked in the mirror these days I could say the same thing, in fact, I have. How do we gain wisdom and have no regret? I’m not saying I’m not forgiven, I get that it is only forgiveness given by grace from God that allows me to see the many flaws and mistakes, born in me naturally, that is the very necessity of His grace.
As I gaze into a mirror these days, or vision my future self, my being is less concerned with what I look like and more intent on who I am on the inside, and what job is set before me that I might endeavor with gratitude before God.
The shell that houses that once proud soul is showing signs of wear and tear. That pride was the root issue for most of these scars; the ones on the outside as well as the ones on the inside.
Worse than my own scars are the ones I’ve left in the lives of others. The vision we have that only involves ourselves and revolves around our own world pick up speed, soon the revolutions of our selfishness reach hurricane proportions in the lives of others.
When we’ve blown on ahead losing momentum of self, the path of devastation resembles our very own hurricane, named after the storm’s origin.
Is the person you see in your minds eye the person you thought you’d be?
A look to the inside is much more difficult than a look to the outside.
The inside is who we really are…
April
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 6:00 am
I love this song. It is a place that we as Christians get from time to time when we need to feel like we’re born again and leave behind the crap that we’ve been allowing ourselves to wallow in. Great post as always.
Floyd
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 6:45 am
Thanks April, yeah that song is definitely a spiritual lift. Interesting how we can slide into wallowing so often isn’t it?
Bt
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 5:47 pm
A quality post Floyd. Interesting concept to undertake a review (inside and outside) of one’s self. I would assume most Christians do that from time to
time … I do wonder how objective a person will/can be? As for comparing your (outside) aspirations as a child to the person that you’ve become … as for me it would all depend at what mile post of my childhood I’d look back at. I’ve had a blessed life and at no place in my childhood did I aspire to end up where I did on the outside. I guess I qualify as a
overachiever. But on the inside I feel I did end up where I had always hoped I would. God must have a plan for me, I just don’t know what it is but I’m looking forward to finding out. Bt
Floyd
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 6:04 pm
Thanks BT. An overachiever? You? — YOU THINK?!!! I looked up in the dictionary the word “overachiever” and there was a picture of you as the ultimate example!
You are one of the rare people that are the same inside and out. Your honesty about yourself, the positives and negatives, are refreshing to say the least. I’d say He’s already used you for some of His plan, the people in your life could testify to it I’m sure…
Hazel
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 10:54 pm
As a child when I would look into the mirror, I did not invision myself as even pretty, but I am so glad that God does not view our outward appearance, so we are all beautiful in his sight. What I wanted to be was a missionary because our church had so many guest missionaries that thrilled all we as children. Then if that did not happen, I wanted to be a teacher and perhaps a writer. Teacher is probably the best fit. I gave always enjoyed telling people the best way to do something. 🙂 As we blog, maybe we are all teachers of a sort! Encouraging, suggesting a better way, giving hope, stirring thought. Even as we often expose ourself, we are showing that we are human with faults, but we also are working on change as God changes us. No regrets about the past as that is gone and today is the only day we have!
Floyd
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 @ 6:59 am
I think you’re right Hazel, stirring thought and letting everyone know that we’re not so different, we all struggle with this flesh, but God uses our strengths and weaknesses for His perfect will. Yesterday is gone, we’ve gained wisdom for today. Nice thoughts, thanks Hazel.
Audra Krell
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 @ 11:09 am
Born Again is a song that has helped change my life and it always brings me to my knees, which isn’t good when I hear it in the car while driving! I can easily get caught up in the past, when I think about all the things I want/wanted to be inside and out. The only way I get through is to experience the newness of His mercy every single morning.
Floyd
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 @ 11:32 am
That was beautifully said Audra… That is the only thing that can deliver us from who we were. Wonderful comment… I know what you mean.
Lisa notes...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 @ 6:38 pm
I think I imagined myself to be much more mature by this point, much more patient, much less tempted. Sigh. I didn’t know that “old people” could still struggle (I’m 48 now, but that’s how my 25-yr-old self would have imagined a 48-yr-old. ha)
However, I’m closer in my relationship to the Lord than I imagined, even with all the faults I still have. So all is well. Grace has been amazing!
Good thoughts here, Floyd. Thanks for making me think, as usual.
Floyd
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 @ 6:57 pm
Wow, thanks Lisa. You honestly could have just written my life exactly, right down to the age. (although I probably don’t act it) I couldn’t sum it up any better, “His grace has been amazing”!
Nancy
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 @ 10:02 pm
Hi Floyd…as a kid, I don’t think I dared even dream because we were passed around so much I wasn’t sure where I’d end up. I did SO want to be a doctor. Instead I grew up telling doctors what to do with regard to their practices. LOL!
Honestly, I wish there were some go-backs and do-overs. The flesh does beat a “path to devastation”, doesn’t it? Thank God for the Blood of Jesus. I am truly thankful for the Holy Spirit who enables me to see me as God does. ….otherwise…? I’d be CrAzY!
Floyd
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 @ 10:12 am
Great point Nancy, our flesh does naturally beat a path to devastation. It’s a difficult thing to know the heart. Without God I think it’s impossible… Thanks
jake
Thursday, October 6, 2011 @ 5:46 am
I used to want to be an architect. I still love the idea, I just know now there’s no way on earth I’d do it. Besides, I like writing more. I like working with my refugees more and will probably always try to stay in the non-profit sector… which isn’t what I imagined ten years ago. Even five years ago, I imagined I’d pastor somewhere. I’m not sure I want that so much anymore.
I actually love that it changes. I have to say though, those changes are not always easy to cope with. I can think of a few dead dreams that took a while to get over.
Floyd
Thursday, October 6, 2011 @ 9:25 am
It’s hard to give up a dream isn’t it? I think when we’re in God’s will, if our dreams don’t align with His will, it would be like bashing our heads against a wall. I’ve done that more than once… I’ll bet you have too!
Pat
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 1:30 pm
There it is! Love the song/video!
Love your words, “As I gaze into a mirror these days, or vision my future self, my being is less concerned with what I look like and more intent on who I am on the inside, and what job is set before me that I might endeavor with gratitude before God.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Beautiful!
Floyd
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 6:47 pm
Thanks Pat, I’m not sure that is the case, but I appreciate the kind words.