I think most of us as children had an idea of who we were going to be, or at least wanted to be when we grew up. Many of us had a vague picture of what we would be, others had a vivid picture of what our “someday” selves would be.
Of course Hollywood or storybook influences might have been a bit far-fetched. I think most of us also had an idea of who we were going to be on the inside as well as the outside. We had the expectations of our ideals and character.
All the character traits we may have struggled with as a child would somehow magically disappear with age, maturity, and time, we’d be the people with the traits that great stories are made of. In short, I think we pictured ourselves inside and out as strong people of character with the charm of a lead character in a book or movie.
I’m curious how close others came to their ideal selves inside and out? My hunch is that we had a better chance at the outside than the inside…
One of the problems might have been the age we pictured ourselves. For me, while I didn’t know the specific age, I think my overly optimistic vision was around 25 years old. Not that there’s anything wrong with being 25 years old, it’s just typically the age life is beginning, not the picture of the rest of our lives.
My guess is not many of us looked too far beyond that age or picture. One of the problems related with our visions of ourselves, at least for me, was the fact that there was no one else in the vision, just me…
I fully acknowledge that at a young age when life is making us concentrate on what we’re going to do for school and career, it’s tough to think about being selfless. I also think given enough time our perceptions change and we begin to look beyond the surface of our skin.
I heard a song by Third Day titled, “Born Again” the other day, I hadn’t heard it for awhile. The opening lines hit me similar to when I heard it the first time.
Today I found myself
After searching for all these years
And the man that I saw, mirror mirror…
Wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be…
As I looked in the mirror these days I could say the same thing, in fact, I have. How do we gain wisdom and have no regret? I’m not saying I’m not forgiven, I get that it is only forgiveness given by grace from God that allows me to see the many flaws and mistakes, born in me naturally, that is the very necessity of His grace.
As I gaze into a mirror these days, or vision my future self, my being is less concerned with what I look like and more intent on who I am on the inside, and what job is set before me that I might endeavor with gratitude before God.
The shell that houses that once proud soul is showing signs of wear and tear. That pride was the root issue for most of these scars; the ones on the outside as well as the ones on the inside.
Worse than my own scars are the ones I’ve left in the lives of others. The vision we have that only involves ourselves and revolves around our own world pick up speed, soon the revolutions of our selfishness reach hurricane proportions in the lives of others.
When we’ve blown on ahead losing momentum of self, the path of devastation resembles our very own hurricane, named after the storm’s origin.
Is the person you see in your minds eye the person you thought you’d be?
A look to the inside is much more difficult than a look to the outside.
The inside is who we really are…