JUST UNDER THE SURFACE
The church parking lot is a nightmare. With all the new construction and remodeling currently underway, a big section of the parking lot is fenced off and the main driveway detoured through the thin auxiliary lanes that look like they were designed for Pruis’ and Mini Coopers.
We were running uncharacteristically late for church and our usual lane and spaces facing north, for my quick getaway afterward, were already taken. I paused at the end of the row closest to the entry doors of the church before heading out to the north forty, “Go ahead and get out here, I’m gonna have to park a ways away,” I offered to my wife who had just had minor surgery on her leg about a week before. “Just sit as close to our usual spot as you can,” I advised.
I let her cross in front before I turned and headed out to never, never land. I took the second turn in the skinny one way parking lot lane on my way south in search of a precious space. While I tend to speed on freeways, highways, and surface streets, I never speed in parking lots and try to be respectful of pedestrians.
About a quarter of the way between the next two-way major entry and exit lane, a group of tardies were ambling toward the sanctuary. I slowed to almost a crawl as the majority of them moved out of the center of the driving area as I passed. One more late-ster was up ahead and looked to be crossing in front of me as I slowed again.
The early thirties looking guy was stout, a tad on the heavy side, board shorts, flip flops, and had the perfectly groomed five o’clock shadow. As I slowed to let him cross, he didn’t. Once he was half across the lane he turned dead center of the lane walking toward me.
I stopped and studied the burly kid trying to figure out in a split second what was happening while he walked toward me. He smiled a wide devious smile and his eyebrows that matched his backward ball cap spread across his forehead with pleasure.
I’m not one who gets easily rattled – mad? Okay, yeah. I looked squarely in the eyes of the man, shook my head with exaggeration and tried to show as much disgust and apathy as my expression could as I moved as far left in the skinny lane as possible, refusing to stop for the punk that revealed the real me hiding just under the surface.
I hate to admit that had he pulled that stunt anywhere other than the church parking lot the least we would have exchanged would have been words… The broken side of me, the “sick” side of me, that Christ said He came for reared its ugly face.
We’ve been sitting in the same area of the church and pews for years. Standing next to my wife, my blood cooling, I subtly searched the sanctuary for the guy who managed to bring out the part of me Christ came for. Where would God sit the man I’d never laid eyes on before that day? Directly across the aisle from me, of course…
The man had taken off his cap and carried it in reverence. I glanced at the failed test across the aisle from me that reminded me of how easily I still fall. When the worship leader prompted us to “greet your neighbor” the man seemed to avoid me.
I tapped him on the shoulder. As he turned I shook his hand and offered to him and to my Father a genuine, “I’m sorry.”
When Christ said He came for the sick, He was speaking of me… How bout’ you?
David
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 10:24 am
One of the many pieces of my puzzle that Christ came for surfaced again just yesterday at work. There is a lot of bantering that goes about on the shop floor where I work. I mostly hear it because I’m an admin guy. There are 2 guys who aren’t really my “charges” but that I work the closest with and I banter with them some. One of those fellas often brings it on a bit strong; he doesn’t really mean harm but never-the-less he pushes the “envelope”. I’m sure – no, I know – if he were my direct charge he would tame things up, but he’s not. Anyway most of the time I don’t let it get to me but yesterday it was just too much for me and, well let’s just say, I overreacted. Shortly there after, I got a message from the inner-man making it clear I had handled the situation poorly …
Sometimes you just wish puzzle pieces would STAY missing …
Thanks for the timely post, Floyd.
Floyd
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 5:32 pm
Yeah, I hear you, David. They always seem to be found at the wrong time! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, brother. Glad to know I’m not alone! Thanks, David.
Jason Stasyszen
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 2:12 pm
I’m in desperate need of Him and I prove it every day. Sometimes it’s not the “issues” I have (though they’re there) but simply life itself and all its demands and pressures. No matter how far I come and how much grace works (and I am so thankful for His work in me), the need never goes away because I was made to need Him. He brings completion. Thanks Floyd.
Floyd
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 5:34 pm
“I was made to need Him.” Yeah, that’s good. Profound, Jason. It is all about that grace that He’s given us… even when we fail. And I fail more than I should. Well said, Jason. Thanks, you have a way of making my mind kick up a notch!
Bill (cycelguy)
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 4:28 pm
happened to me just today. I was heading to another town for a funeral and was following a guy who couldn’t keep the speed-a 10 mph difference at times. I finally got around him and went to the funeral home. I stopped off to the side of the road to text my wife when who should go by me? Yep, him. Lo and behold I followed him to the funeral home where he couldn’t make up his mind where to turn. I beat him inside and never did get a look at him, but I think he may have been the man & wife who was also visiting with the wife of the man whose mother had died. I felt sheepish to say the least. Yeah, I need help. 🙂
Floyd
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 5:36 pm
Thanks for the honesty, Bill. This is another reminder that only One walked through this physical world without sin. The good thing or bright side is the fact that we don’t fail as often as we used… proof of His nature in this fallen world.
Betty Draper
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 5:11 pm
Count me in with you sick ones. Happened to me this past week actually with a friend. She has frustrated me more then once and I was just not in the mood for one more piece of frustration. Need to take the low road and say I am sorry. Thanks brother…as Chuck Swindoll says, it’s a three steps forward and two back life we now live in Christ. Thank God He bought us the three steps forward.
Floyd
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 5:38 pm
“The low road.” I like that. Something so powerful about using the humility that comes from the One who demonstrates it daily in this physical world. Sometimes those steps back really catch me off guard! Thanks for sharing and letting me know I’m not walking this dusty path alone, Betty!
Hazel Moon
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 6:33 pm
For some, the most difficult words to say are: “I’m sorry!” God is truely looking out for you and that fellow too. At times we do find ourselves in the place of needing forgiveness. Once given, it is easier to give it to someone else. We don’t have a problem at our church finding a good seat. Our courageous conversations are hoping to change that. I enjoyed this post and your honest openness
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:17 pm
I still fail, Hazel, but not near as much as I used to. I’m with you, humility is key in finding forgiveness from our Father and being able to pass it on. Only in His spirit can we accomplish that. Thanks, Hazel. Although you could, I appreciate that you don’t judge. Blessings to you, sister.
Pam
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 @ 7:35 pm
It astounds me how quickly I let my Christianity fly out the window when I in a situation like you describe. I may still look Christ-like on the outside but I am far from it on the inside–a place I can’t hide from God. So glad Christ forgives. You set a good example for us, Floyd, when you apologized. Blessings to you, my friend.
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:19 pm
Thanks for your honesty, Pam. How can I not forgive and find humility when I’ve been given it beyond my comprehension? Funny how pride rears it’s ugly face when we least expect it. Especially the church parking lot!
Voni
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 1:29 am
You must have been working out your humble muscle, as it had to be hard to say sorry sincerely in that situation, when you’re embarrassed and probably still a little frustrated. Great reminder to keep my own in shape. Thanks!
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:20 pm
You’re right, Voni. Years back I’d never have been able to do that, but there is no honor in anything else… I know, I’ve learned that lesson the hard way! One of these days I’m gonna get tested and pass! Thanks, Voni.
June
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 8:37 am
It’s a daily struggle Floyd. Sometimes hourly. I think I’m doing good & God subtly reminds me how I’ve failed. Not to make more feel bad but to bring me back to Him. It is when we start thinking we have no sin that we are in trouble. Keep striving, brother!
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:23 pm
Good point, June. It is exactly when we think we’ve arrived that we fall short… as if it has anything to do with our works! It’s all about His grace… I sure am thankful for it… so much so I can swallow that pride much easier than I used to! Thanks, June.
Nannette and the Sweetheart
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 8:54 am
Ouch! Been there, unfortunately done that, Floyd. I think even more of you that you apologized. Not easy to do!
I thought you were going to say he had taken YOUR seat too. :). So many struggle with that in the churches we minister in. My husband will tell them if they really want revival, a REAL influx of souls, we had better be prepared to give up OUR seat and OUR parking place! Oh, ME! Blessings for this gentle reminder…
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:25 pm
Your husband is spot on. Much wisdom in those words. If we don’t have humility then we’re not walking in step with our calling. It’s tough to do, but being on watch and prepared spiritually is the key. I’m relieved to be in such good company! You and the others might be rubbing off on me! Thanks, Nannette.
Lisa notes
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 9:33 am
Such a considerate husband you are. Jeff often lets me off at the door too (but I don’t have a good excuse of leg surgery, ha. Just that it’s cold!).
Those hard lessons sneak up on us sometimes–we don’t expect them in the church parking lot, but God knows how and where to convict us and reveal our hearts. Glad the story ended up with a happy ending. Yep, I’m definitely one of the sick ones too–so thankful He came to heal all of us!
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:27 pm
“God knows how and where to convict us and reveal our hearts.” Wow. You said it, Lisa. Just when we’re letting our guard down we get tapped by our own foolish pride. I can’t count how many times I’ve flunked this test! Thanks, Lisa. And thanks for your honesty and heart… I’m in great company!
Sharon
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 12:57 pm
Oh man, Floyd. What a great story. Well, great in that it was so true – and served as a giant “tap-on-my-shoulder” moment. I have had some very ugly thoughts in a church parking lot. Occasionally, those thoughts have also surfaced inside the doors. I am chagrined at how often I am reminded of the *ugly* stuff that lurks just below the surface in myself. And why does it seem that it’s always anger that’s there? Perhaps because our greatest sin is pride – and anger is what boils up when we feel our *rights* have been offended.
How *God* a moment to place that man so close to you! And Floyd, what a victory you won when you listened to the Spirit’s prompting and did the right thing. I believe I could actually see the devil slinking away…
Great post. Thanks for being honest.
GOD BLESS!
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:30 pm
You nailed it, Sharon! It is all about pride! We think more of ourselves than we should and not enough of others when we should. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” The anger that masks the fear within is our biggest kryptonite! You know I hadn’t thought of it, but the enemy didn’t end up winning… Thanks for pointing that out! He won a battle but lost the war! Good call and wisdom, sister. Thank you!
child of God
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 4:34 pm
Hi Floyd,
A big, busy city can sure do that to you. Praise GOD you humbled yourself and told the man sorry. I really respect you for that.
I use to drive a transport truck, so the group of people I hung out with did not have the best vocabulary and let’s just say I picked up on some of the colourful words used to express anger. I had a potty mouth. 🙁 I have cleaned this up years ago before the kids came along and very rarely do I swear but sometimes, when I get angry I can let loose a string of profanities that I am quite sorry for afterwards. I need Jesus every minute of every day and when I slip up like this I just realize that I am such a sinner that needs His grace and forgiveness often.
Blessings brother.
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:37 pm
I so appreciate your honesty, sister. We are all in need and when we confess our weaknesses I think it helps those who look at us thinking we think as Christians we’re perfect. Far from it. We know the truth. We’re all broken and need of His love and redemption. We’re not perfect, but Who we serve is! I’m encouraged by your words. Thank you, sister. God bless you and your family.
Betty Jo
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 4:59 pm
Oh Floyd! Your humility in apologizing to that man is beautiful indeed. I had a similar situation this week, on the phone with a power rep, and I think I just may write about it on my blog since reading yours. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get the person back to apologize to. Father, teach me, and Floyd, to be slow to anger!!
Floyd
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 5:39 pm
Thanks for your honesty and prayers, Betty Jo. Heaven knows I need them! I’ll look forward to your post. We all fail, but when we confess it openly and not try to justify it, our Father is honored. He can use our failures for His glory!!!! How cool is that? Thanks for your humility and grace, Betty Jo.
Barb Raveling
Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 6:39 pm
That’s so funny that you were sitting across from each other. God is so funny sometimes, isn’t He? As I was reading your story it struck me what a colorful writer you are. I loved the tardy’s and the late-ster. I especially noticed your great writing today because I teach a speech/interpersonal communications/writing class to a group of homeschooled teenagers and this afternoon we were talking about colorful writing. I should have used your blog as my example of how to do it!
Floyd
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 6:50 pm
God is funny! Trying to out maneuver Him is like Jonah trying to outrun Him! Funny how we try to run from Him around the globe that sits in His hand… How wonderful that you share your gift with the younger generation! How gratifying is that? Good for you, Barb! It might be best not to use me as an example, unless it is used under the “To Avoid” column! Thanks for the input and kind words, Barb. I appreciate it.
Rick Dawson
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 10:54 am
God has a great sense of humor, and impeccable timing – and it even seems like he tailors some lessons just for us so that we can feel the stuff, and think the stuff, that belongs to our old nature (not so far removed so as to be out of reach sometimes) in a way that no one and nothing (save maybe our pride) is injured.
Good stuff, bro! 🙂
Floyd
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 6:52 pm
Oh, brother! You have a way with words! Words that speak to the fact that you’ve walked this crooked path! That pride is ugly, but not as ugly and in control as it used to be. The lessons are sinking in… or maybe just wearing me down? Thanks, Rick!
Rick Dawson
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 6:56 pm
Not wearing you down, Floyd – I’ve walked the same path a lot farther east, but it is nonetheless the same path. 🙂
Floyd
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 6:59 pm
I think I’m choking on the dust you’re kicking up in front of me!
Ceil
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 12:37 pm
Hi Floyd! My Mom used to get so disgusted by the drivers leaving church. She would shake her head and wonder how they could pray so diligently, and then run over each other in the lot! She had a point.
I am so proud of you for approaching that guy and greeting him. I wonder if I would? Maybe I would be so embarrassed, I’d avoid him right back. But you did the right thing. Since when are we all perfect family members? Don’t we get mad at our brothers and sisters in our own homes? That’s not great either, but it’s all included in the ‘family living package.’ We have to learn to respect and love our siblings, just like our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s not easy!
Your wife had surgery too? Are you both single-handedly supporting surgeons in this horrid economy? Nice work!
Ceil
Floyd
Friday, March 7, 2014 @ 6:56 pm
I’m with your mom. The discourtesy that happens in the church parking lot is shameful, makes me sad. The actions speak to the true heart of all of us. As soon as I saw where God had placed the man, I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter… I’ve learned a few things along the way! We do need to treat our family members in Christ the way He said the world would recognize we belong to Him! “By the love you have for one another.” No wonder the enemy strikes us there so hard.
We did have these surgeries carried over from last year so that our deductible would still be in effect… It’s been a painful year! Hope your shoulder is healing nicely. Thanks, Ceil.
Micah
Saturday, March 8, 2014 @ 10:16 am
Sad to say I had a moment of needless annoyance with my wife just yesterday. I have a penchant for self-righteousness. It’s not pretty. Something I’ve noticed over time is that I’ll encounter some opportunity for it to rear its ugly head right after I’ve been spending time in prayer, or studying my bible, or worshipping, or some other practice that can conjure in me a sense of feeling especially spiritual or holy or whatever. I think it’s God’s way of reminding me that doing any of the above doesn’t make me better than anyone else, which, without these reminders, I think I am prone to subconsciously thinking. Like I’m Moses coming down from the mountain or something.
One good thing about it? Over time I think He’s kind of taught me to laugh at myself, or at least that tendency in myself. To actually find it funny and silly and ridiculous. Goes to show how gracious He is, I think. Even when He’s correcting me and telling me off He manages to find a way to make me smile as He does it.
Floyd
Saturday, March 8, 2014 @ 2:24 pm
What a great perspective! I’m with you, Micah. After all the years of bending in the same weak point that we’re prone to, it is amusing to see how easily we still fail. Much wisdom in your words, brother. The enemy uses our pride against us every time! Sounds like you’re making humility a bigger part of your life. That should be all of our goals. Thanks for the honesty and reminder, Micah.
Alyssa Santos
Saturday, March 8, 2014 @ 10:36 am
Those kind of “I’m sorry’s” are the hardest. But, yes, we tend to forget that that girls who chat throughout the entire service are precious to God – church is for them, Jesus is for them, too.
Floyd
Saturday, March 8, 2014 @ 2:25 pm
Isn’t if so easy to get annoyed? We tend to be annoyed with the tendencies that we don’t have. If we went to your church we’d sit in your section! Thanks, Alyssa.
Bernard Haynes
Sunday, March 9, 2014 @ 7:15 pm
Floyd, you know how to bring me into spiritual reality with your writings and stories. I really appreciate how God uses you to touch the lives of people. You have an awesome gift my friend. I learn every day that I need Him more than I needed Him the previous day. If it was not for His hand, I would be in a lot of trouble.
Floyd
Sunday, March 9, 2014 @ 9:44 pm
You and me both, brother. You and me both… It is a wise person that can grasp that despite the world pulling at our pride. Thanks so much for the encouragement. It’s not easy, but our Father is strong. We lose a battle, but He wins the war! Thanks so much, Bernard.
Caleb Suko
Tuesday, March 11, 2014 @ 7:04 am
It’s always amazing how easily our surface godliness can be cracked by something as simple as a guy walking slowly in the parking lot. I find this happens at home with my kids on occasion. They know how to push my buttons and get me to respond in ways that I would never respond so someone outside of the family.
Floyd
Tuesday, March 11, 2014 @ 6:16 pm
Yep, and it usually happens when we least expect it. I have to say, I’ve not seen too many people walking directly in the middle of a road or parking lot to block traffic though… Just when you think you’ve seen everything! Thanks, Caleb.
Dan Black
Tuesday, March 11, 2014 @ 5:07 pm
The words “I’m sorry” are powerful ones. We have to remain humble enough to always be willing to say them, and being married to be able to say them often:) I think you know what I mean. Great post!
Floyd
Tuesday, March 11, 2014 @ 6:21 pm
Yeah, I got you, Dan. Humility is key for us. I sometimes struggle with it, but sometimes our Father just makes my need of it and Him crystal clear! Thanks, Dan.
SimplyDarlene
Thursday, March 13, 2014 @ 9:10 pm
Looks like this bit here “the guy who managed to bring out the part of me Christ came for” is quite sticky, aye?
There’s a line that unravels
between mouths,
hearts
and minds. Even
though it
makes for
frazzled bits
of Him – and
the lost see
not,
the mended
see the fuzz,
& God
sees His Son
in us.
Floyd
Friday, March 14, 2014 @ 6:08 pm
Wow. That’s beautiful, Darlene. “The mended see the fuzz, and God sees His Son in us.” Profound wisdom, sister… sounds like the type of wisdom that is attained the hard way. This is wonderful and inspiring. Thanks so much!
Joanne Norton
Sunday, March 16, 2014 @ 6:53 pm
I understand. Floyd, you and I have a lot in common, even though I ain’t a young ‘un. I’ve been prepped to fight…physically or spiritually… for many years. Since childhood to “old”hood. No, I don’t physically fight any more, or prep to get others to fight around and about for me, but I do pay attention to what’s going on. When I see someone going after someone else, I’ll still jump in and break it up if I can…protecting others, not letting them get hurt. I sure understood what you went through. Actually, one of the things that grabbed me was that parking cars in malls or church areas have SMALL cars planned on those narrow line sections. We can hardly get anything parked w/o being slammed so near to the next car. Anyhow, now I’ll shut up and go away. Need to take a few minutes to read one of your others that I had missed. NEVER want to miss you, but don’t always see it or have time. Gotta get things worked out. Bless you…
Floyd
Monday, March 17, 2014 @ 6:26 pm
We are two peas in a pod, Joanne. At least the company is good! And yeah! Those parking lot spaces that are made for match box cars! Man! Don’t get me started! Thanks for stopping by, Joanne. You are always greatly appreciated.