“I GOT TATTOOS!”
It was a long time ago, but the memory still gives me a chuckle. It was a reminder of the insecurities and the thought process of fools… and as the old song says, “Everybody Plays The Fool.”
He was smack in the middle of his two brothers in age and size. A tough family, one that would be considered to be from “the wrong side of the tracks.” All three brothers were rough and tumble construction workers. The oldest brother was a very short guy with a nasty disposition… He was the only brother to own a house and he mowed his yard with a 357 strapped to his hip.
The youngest brother, the most handsome of the brothers, was big, over six-foot tall and built like a linebacker. Like many of us in those days and especially that profession, being tough was a prerequisite and paramount, at least the way we viewed life at the time.
The brothers were scrappers, well the oldest and the youngest, the middle brother was the kind of guy that wanted people to fear him, and would play the role of the fearless tough guy with nothing to lose, even though the middle brother had more of the type of chest and body that resembled the skinny kid who got sand kicked in his face in the Charles Atlas cartoon advertisement.
The middle brother would hold his arms out to the sides, looking like he had cactus in his armpits, trying to look wider than he really was. He sported the semi-long, greasy hairstyle held out of his face by his ears that he used cleverly to hold the hair, much like fancy drapes are swagged from windows.
His cracked front tooth, even though not from fighting, looked like it was, so he used it like a pirate does gold. To finish off the ensemble, the middle brother had tattoos inked up and down his arms, this in a day when only bikers, ex-cons, and inmates wore that much ink.
The middle brother was out with his crew minus his brothers when trouble began… and trouble was and is always inevitable in the blue-collar bars where alcohol is added to bad attitudes. The middle brother played his standard poker hand when an unmarked and clean-shaven fellow called his bluff.
The middle brother huffed and he puffed as if he were going to blow a house down, but the challenge to show his hand outside the bar stood… Yup, the middle brother folded. He really didn’t like to fight… he just wanted everyone to think he did.
The best and most telling part of the story, the part that still brings me amusement is that he told his crew in utter disbelief, “But I got tattoos!” The middle brother desperately wanted to look like a man to be feared to achieve the respect that so desperately alluded him.
Although most of us wouldn’t be so blatant with our actions or admissions, I think many of us still want to portray a certain “look” so that the world will believe us to be in a specific category, the one we want to be part of. I wonder what Jesus wore, or how His disciples, who were also from a blue-collar background, before the days of collars, dressed?
The story of the middle brother reminds me that rarely can you judge a book by its cover… and even if we do, we still can’t read the heart… or hearts… and life isn’t a game of poker… so there’s no need to bluff…
Bernard Haynes
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 6:40 pm
Floyd, you are the man when it comes to laying out a story. I really enjoy your stuff. I experienced in my life portraying a look that did not represent who I truly was. I got away with it for awhile, but the truth was revealed through intense challenges. I have seen so many men present themselves as some kind of indestructible Superman. But, the reality is even Superman had his kryptonite. Man, I need to get you to post on my site. I love your stories.
Floyd
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 10:13 pm
You and I are two peas in a pod, brother. We’re all the same underneath the flesh that so desperately deceives… Only our Father can turn our weaknesses into strengths. I’d be honored to post on your site, my friend. You let me know the time and date and I’m there. Thanks, Bernard.
Chuck Allen
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 7:50 pm
So true. While I don’t have any “ink”, I definitely have my tattoos – those things I display to create the image I want others to have of me. I’d like to think that as I get older I’m learning to be more authentic, but it’s a slow process with me.
Great post, Floyd!
Floyd
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 10:15 pm
Me too, Chuck. Me too. There is such a peace with being authentic and it is such a blessing to us and all that we intersect with in our lives… I’m a slow learner, but I’m catching on… Thanks, Chuck.
Hazel Moon
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 10:01 pm
Good story to make us think about the things we do to bring attention that perhaps we are somebody after all. As Christians, I wonder if the one who carries the biggest Bible gets attention. That is OK I suppose if the big Bible is carried to church, but leave it home when you go to work. Just BE a witness by our light shining.
I don’t tint my hair, but I chuckle at the streaks of color that I see in some of our young people. Not all young either.
And don’t get me riled about tattoos. My son-in-law has one when he was in the Marines. I excuse him for that.
Floyd
Saturday, June 15, 2013 @ 10:23 pm
You’re the best, Hazel! The biggest Bible doesn’t mean anything! I know you know that, but that’s a great analogy! It really is about our Light shining and showing the world who we belong to.
And a tattoo that unites the ones that serve and offer their lives as sacrifice to bind one to another is a different kind of ink… I remember my uncles and cousins that served and had some humble tattoos to remind them of who they were as servants with their band of fellow service men and that’s a different agenda… The less always imitate the more…
Thank you, sister.
Mia
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 5:36 am
Dear Floyd
My husband’s younger brother is divorced from his wife and their youngest son also looks like a newspaper with all the tattoos. My husband jokes about all the tattoos and said he needed instructions on going to the toilet!Their marriage was not a happy one and the boys grew up very insecure! I have so much empathy for their son, for he also tries to cover his insecurities with tattoos and cage kick boxing. I don’t think he knows The Lord, but I often pray that our Pappa draws them to Him! He is such a nice boy with a soft heart.
Much love XX
Mia
Floyd
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 8:57 am
That’s a typical story isn’t it? I think that the ones that “look” the roughest are often the ones with the biggest hearts. A counselor I know said that prisons are full of men like that… It’s a sad thing and I agree, it has so much to do with the home life as kids… All we can do is pray and offer them truth, which you most certainly do. Thanks, Mia.
Doug Blair
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 6:47 am
Not too long ago in traffic I got behind a pick-up truck that just reeked of a mean disposition. Decal in the back window of the pirates’ skull and crossbones; chrome spikes on the hubcaps just like a bulldog’s collar; a bull’s lower equipment in chrome hanging from the rear bumper; detailed painted flames of hell. Was this a masquerade? Was the owner trying to say you had better fear me and stay away? Who da mannn? Our so-called role models in film and in fiction are becoming anti-heroes, the bad guy, struggling, but somewhere having a point of identification. Behind it all I hear the voice of some pre-teen boy saying, “Yeah, I don’t really like myself”. The answer is as simple as repentance unto life (Acts 11: 18). One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is gentleness…delightful.
Floyd
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 9:02 am
Very well described and said, Doug. Gentleness is shunned in our society, people tend to mistake our kindness for weakness when it really is the strength of our Father in us. I still struggle to be gentle in a vicious world, but I’m coming around! Great comment, thanks, Doug.
Betty Draper
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 8:53 am
I got a tattoo when I was 15 to show my friends how tough I was. Also wanted my then boyfriend to think I was cool since it was his nickname they tattooed on. He didn’t and did not get my name on his arm…much wiser then I was. Several years into our marriage I got it taken off. Our need to be recognize can cause us to do some stupid things. Good post brother.
Floyd
Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 9:16 am
We’ve all done stupid things in the name of being cool and recognized… it’s a really big club! It’s tough being a kid, even with all the right influence kids still struggle. All the dumb things I’ve done gives me a lot of empathy for them. It’s a hard thing to walk to the beat of your own drum and not act it out physically. Thanks, Betty.
Jillie
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:46 am
Good Monday morning to you, Floyd! I’m a little late with my comments. This post is packed full of meaning…it could probably be turned into a book! Oh, the foolish things we do when young to find respect and affirmation from people we usually don’t even really like.
Of course, as usual, my mind wandered while reading your words.:) I was drawn back to the movie ‘Shrek’, of all things. I trust you’ve seen it? There’s the scene where King Farquad comes riding up on his massive steed with all his merry men. He’s come to claim Princess Fiona! Two of his men stand on either side of his horse, grab each of his arms, which he has helpfully extended for this very purpose. They ‘lift’ him off his steed and stand him on the ground. He’s like 3 feet tall!!! Shrek takes one look at the whole scene, turns his head aside, and snidely comments, (in Mike Myers classic style), “Do you think he’s compensating for something?”
My mind wanders to that every single time I see some guy behind the wheel of his jacked-up 4X4!!! It’s such a sad fact that we continually seek the ‘respect’ of others, trying to convey some kind of tough image to the world around us. I have a brother like that. Behind the ‘tough-guy image’ however, his personal world is falling apart. I know he cries when no one is looking. I know his heart behind the facade. And it breaks MY heart to see that he still ‘pretends’ to be someone he is not, just to fit in with his ‘band of buds’. He also rides his motorcycle at top speed, when drunk. I fully expect we’ll get the call one day that he’s ‘spread’ all over some stretch of highway somewhere. It’s sad, but it’s what I fully expect will happen one day. How I wish he could just let down the charade for once, and be the man God made him to be.
Thank you Floyd, for these wise words today. You’ve really made me think, as it’s not just men who do these foolish things. We women are guilty of it too.
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:42 pm
My heart breaks for your brother, Jillie. We all do tend to fall into this trap of the flesh… It’s sad to think people are actually living their lives for other people! Caring so much of what they think that it actually changes the way a person acts? When it’s put like that it sounds like the insanity that it is!
I have seen Shrek. We still quote it all the time! That’s a great part of the story along with when he and donkey are talking to the princess about Lord Farquad, “Men of his stature… are in “short” supply!” Too funny…
Thanks for the honesty and wisdom, Jillie. I’m praying for your brother. I know he’s got a heart of gold…
April
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:52 am
I’ve learned over the years that rarely is someone exactly how they look. Oftentimes people are much different.
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:44 pm
Amen, April! The world is full of actors and actresses, trying to portray the role we’ve spent a lifetime trying to master… It’s sad. Thanks, April.
Dan Erickson
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 6:23 am
Yes, we all try to manage our identity. This story reminds me a little of my little brother minus the ink. I think we might get a bit less this way as we get older.
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:45 pm
I agree with you, Dan. With time comes wisdom to the ones in search of it. I’ve been guilty of this as well, but now I don’t care much about what others think and there’s no chance of pleasing all of them. We might as well please the One who provides the wisdom. Thanks, Dan.
tcavey
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 1:42 pm
Great writing, my friend.
When I first met my spouse he had numerous piercings and a few tattoos. I remember the night my parents first met him, I thought they were going to freak out by the way he looked, but instead they saw the man inside and fell in love with him!
You really can’t judge a book by its cover. If you do, you can miss out on so much.
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:50 pm
I’m with you, TC. God can use all the paths we’ve walked upon to bring Him and us honor when we finally grasp that it is He that we seek to honor and please first. Oh, by the way, I just got a little more respectable myself a couple of weeks ago; I cut almost 9″ off my hair… Now I’m presentable! Well almost if it still wasn’t pulled back into a ponytail… Thanks, TC. I’d like to meet your family, maybe someday…
tcavey
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 12:20 pm
9″ wow! My husbands bald!
someday…
Floyd
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:11 pm
I do donate it, I just can’t hardly stand to have it long anymore…
Floyd
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:22 pm
I do donate it, but I’m getting to the point where I can hardly stand to have it long…
Hazel Moon
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 4:22 pm
Thanks for entering this at “Tell Me a True Story” at:
http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:51 pm
Thanks for having me, Hazel!
Barb Raveling
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 4:44 pm
So true – you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, so why do we? Crazy! It works both ways, too. Sometimes we think people are worse than they are – and sometimes we think they’re better than they are. I don’t know how many times, I’ve thought, “Wow that person has it all together,” only to find out later that she or he struggled just like I do. Life works much better when i have a “We’re all in this together attitude.” That way, I’m not tempted to beat anyone up mentally – either them or me.
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:53 pm
Perfectly said, Barb. “We’re all in this together attitude.” That is a great perspective to start with and have others start with on us! It is crazy, but I think we’re all getting better at it as God continues to open the eyes of our hearts. Thanks, Barb.
Lisa notes
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:20 pm
I get all your cultural references: “Everybody plays the fool” is now running in my head; remembering the skinny kid in the Atlas ads; when tattoos were for the tough-only. 🙂
And being the avid reader that I am, I can vouch for not judging a book by its cover. Gives us motivation to look deeper than skin, yet cautions us on the side of grace since God alone has perfect vision to penetrate that deep.
“No need to bluff.” Great conclusion, Floyd!
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:55 pm
Thanks, Lisa. Glad you caught the cultural pieces, sorry that song is stuck in your head… It was stuck in mine for a long time! Great point about the book itself. We’ve been using that analogy so long it may have lost a bit of it’s strength. “God alone.” Well said, sister.
Kristin
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:45 pm
I have learned over the years to look deeper than the skin and am so glad I have! I met a young man covered in tatoos a couple of years ago and as I interviewed him for a book, he tried to hide the ones on his arms knowing I was a “good Christian woman.” (his words). I could tell they were important to him, so I asked if I could come back the next day and do a chapter just on his tatoos, with pictures and him telling me what they each meant to him. His body told his story. It was very revealing as to who he was. One of the sweetest young men I have ever met! I just loved him. I wondered if one day he would get a tatoo revealing a new relationship with the Lord. As we begain to part, he said that was something he was going to do a lot of thinking about. I left him doing a lot of thinking of my own.
Another great story Floyd!
Floyd
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 5:59 pm
Wow! That is a great story, Kristin! How cool is that? I know the heart you have for the homeless and downtrodden… What a blessing it is to get to learn of another person, their heart and their soul. Thanks for making a difference, I can’t wait to read about the young man. Thanks, Kristin.
Rick Dawson
Monday, June 17, 2013 @ 10:50 pm
I was telling a bass-playing friend of mine today when the subject of tats came up that for some people, the tats make them like stained glass – the lights going to come through no matter what, and they’re colorful. Other folks – they’re trying to warn you away from their fears, really.
I love that song!
Floyd
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:10 pm
I like that analogy of the stained glass. Thanks, Rick. My guess is that you would be a formidable “name that tune” contestant!
Rick Dawson
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:15 pm
You would be correct 🙂 Song Pop (one of my few online guilty pleasures) is entertaining for the same reason.
Floyd
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:28 pm
I never heard of it? I’ll have to check it out, I’m somewhat of a music trivia guy myself… as if you hadn’t figured that out by now!
Rick Dawson
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:32 pm
If you don’t know me by now – Oh, wait – that’s by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes; it isn’t just a phrase anymore 🙂
Floyd
Wednesday, June 19, 2013 @ 6:57 am
I like the shortened version of that song, by the way!
Joanne Norton
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 2:53 pm
Among other things, I’m glad I’m terrified with needles… only allow them when there ain’t no choice from what drs require. As angry as I used to be, I might have gone the tattoo direction, just to get people to know I was in control of ME! WELL, now when I usually see demons on their arms, or all the way around their arms, legs, chests it makes me shudder. I see some with a cross, and know they love the Lord. But sure can’t think it’s OK.
NOW… the middle kid in a family so often feels left out, from both top and bottom. And they struggle one way or another to push themselves out of the hole. That wasn’t my issue, but it sure was the case of one of my mid-sisters [6 girls means it wasn’t just 1 that would be dealing with the “mid” life].
And I expect, when we get to heaven, even though we might be “recognized” it won’t be because of tattooing that would jump out and cause us to cringe right away. Actually, I’M looking forward to “wearing” the white rock the Lord will be giving me with my new name, which is my eternal name, on it.
Good to see you…
Floyd
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:24 pm
I’m with you. Someday it won’t make a difference and life the way it was meant to be will be the new norm… I’m with you, they do read like street signs. That kid definitely did it for all the wrong reasons… Thanks, Joanne. Always good to hear from you.
Dan Black
Thursday, June 20, 2013 @ 12:53 pm
What’s on the inside is more important than the outside. Though society (media) is effectively teaching the opposite, that what really matters is how you look and what you have. It’s important not to judge a book by it’s cover because you never know the blessing the person might be. I’ve heard one millionaire say once that “If you saw most millionaires or billionaires you would not be able to see that they are rich.” Great thoughts!
Floyd
Thursday, June 20, 2013 @ 1:01 pm
Great thoughts, Dan. I agree with all of it. In general, the people striving to look the part usually aren’t and the ones who have attained what the world seeks hold it like a hand of poker. Great add, Dan – thanks!