HOT HEADED AND RECKLESS
“Gene”! – “What’s my name”!!! “Did you see that”? “Can you believe that”? “You’ve never seen anyone do anything like that before have you”?!!! I shouted to the general foreman working close by. The hulk of a man just shook his head as if to say, “You dumb kid.” I recognized the look… I’d seen it often enough in my short life, but like most of the other times I saw it, I ignored it. I was full of myself, you know the kind of “full” that really means “fool”? Yeah, that summed me up well.
I was proud of my work as a young man, proud of the quality and speed that I could produce. Of course at the time I never stopped to consider the gift of being taught and being gracious for it. No – I was young, dumb, and disrespectful. Yelling to point out my attributes to someone with more seniority was less than genius. Gene was old enough to be my dad and then some at the time. He was probably 6′-4″, 260 virile pounds at the time, but was a quiet and simple man with a simple life.
Gene knew my lifestyle at the time and my abrasive personality, but never said a cross word to me, just a few pointed questions to try to get me to think… a tall order at the time, fools don’t think. Gene spoke rarely but fondly of his family, wife and kids including his youngest daughter that was close to my age.
Knowing Gene’s pride for his children and my less than exemplary lifestyle, I thought it would be pretty clever and funny to ask Gene a personal question about his family… in front of two or three other crews. I talked so as to make sure everyone was listening, “Soooo – Geno”! … “Whatya say”?… (paused for effect) “Maybe I go out with your daughter”?
I didn’t wait for his response. I laughed, hard. So did the other guys on my crew close to my age. Gene didn’t laugh, he frowned. “So”! – “I should take that as a no”? we laughed again.
In truth, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful – just funny. The big man, who at the time could have broken me in half, tossed his remaining coffee to the ground in my direction, glared at me till I shut up, then walked off… Gene never asked me any more questions trying to wake me from my youthful ignorance and self-drunkenness.
I actually like Gene, he was a nice guy. He was also a wise man, he knew along with the ugly style I saddled myself with, I was also given to fits of rage… not a person too many folks want to be close to.
There’s a season for everything, I pray God’s mercy upon my season of weakness. There’s a partial verse from Matthew that rings through my head for different reasons and seasons, “Live by the sword, die by the sword.” While there are times when my flesh wants to resolve matters, the times like these reflections cause me to ponder judgments for that which I’ve reaped in my youth…
My soul winces when I read things like Proverbs 10:23, “A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.” And, 14:16, “A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.”
Hotheaded and reckless… Those two words are the words that can describe a good part of my life… In truth, I still struggle with them today… For those who’ve known me from those days know God has brought me a long way, and yet I still have a long way to go… How about you?
I’ll ask you like Bill asked us, what two words would best describe your weaknesses? Please share… and trust the fact that weaknesses are something we all have in common…
Along with forgiveness from Above.
bill (cycleguy)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 2:16 am
First, I am quite humbled that you would mention my site Floyd. Blows me away actually. Second, I think two words that could characterize me, especially in my younger years (and I am ashamed to admit it) is arrogantly lustful. Arrogant is easily understood. But the lustful is in all areas: power, fame, body (hence the working out), thoughts, to name a few. I am not proud of those two words. BTW: thanks for this story. I would bet that Gene would be pleased with what God has done in your life today.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 6:52 am
Thanks Bill. I’m honored to mention you and your site, God has obviously given you the gift to teach and help people in a very real and humble way, I truly appreciate all you do and your heart of service. And thanks for sharing. The funny thing is when people are truthful and open, it makes them stronger, which contrary to the way we think.
TC Avey
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 5:41 am
I used to be pretty hot headed myself (but I wouldn’t say reckless)and I too still struggle with it when I get passionate about something – which is pretty often. God has been molding me closer to His character, so I am able to bit back SOME of what I want to say 🙂
But to actually describe my weaknesses: (this hurts by the way) controlling and prideful…I’m also a worrier though God has brought me so far in all these areas!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 6:55 am
Thanks TC. Now that you mention it, those are weaknesses we share in common as well. God is using your weaknesses to make you stronger and touch the world for Him. I’m thrilled to be part of that!
TC Avey
Friday, June 1, 2012 @ 7:53 am
I feel honored to part of your journey as well. Keep up the good work!
yes our weaknesses are opportunities for Christ to shine!
Floyd
Friday, June 1, 2012 @ 11:54 am
Thanks TC. Fascinating how God can turn our weaknesses into our strengths.
Jay Cookingham
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 8:02 am
Two words eh? Hmmmmm, Arrogant and stubborn…yep, that’ll work. The Father has done a lot of remodeling work on my heart to make humbleness stick…I’m still a work in process for sure.
Thanks for the honesty bro’! BTW, I’m a big fan of Bill’s blog!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 8:42 am
Thanks for sharing Jay. I’m fascinated by the weaknesses that God designs us with that He actually turns them into our strengths when we turn to Him. BTW, I’m a big fan of your site and the depth of sincerity… not to mention the comic strip!
Jay Cookingham
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 10:31 am
Thanks my brother!
Hazel Moon
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 6:13 pm
Speak first repent later – that is more than two words. Okay now I speak, If It were my daughters and you were then as you are now, I would have done more than throw my coffee at you. Gene was a kind and wise man to walk away. If he was a praying man, he probably said a prayer for you. Some one was praying for you (and for me) We always go our prideful way at time. I never got in BIG trouble, but I was headed that way until God detoured the guy I was going with and sent me Robert instead.
Good Post Floyd, does cause us to think and then give glory to our Father who forgives and assists us to walk a better path.
Floyd
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 7:04 am
Thanks Hazel. But if would have been you I’d have been to scared or respectful to be an idiot… God does have a way of bringing us around. It’s the hindsight that brings wisdom.
Jason Stasyszen
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 6:58 pm
That’s a great picture of those words with your story. I think about someone I love who’s making some terrible decisions. I’ve tried to wake them up with words, but they won’t even begin to listen. It is heartbreaking, but I also know I can’t carry it and I’m not going to say anything else at this time. It’ll do no good and mess me up so best to let it go. Anyway,two words to describe my weaknesses? That seems way too small a number (especially after a long day like today). Maybe I should let those close to me name them for me. 🙂 Thanks Floyd.
Floyd
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 7:05 am
Oh man, those closest to us certainly know our weaknesses don’t they? Good point Jason. Sometimes all we can do is offer advice… then sit back and wait to help them pick up the pieces…
Nancy
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 7:36 pm
Well…that old man is dead. Be sure not to resurrect him!
As for me? Insecure and suspicious of everyone. God has really dealt with all that in such a wonderful way. Good story!
Floyd
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 7:07 am
Thanks Nancy. That kid is long dead… but his life still speaks wisdom into mine. Thanks for sharing, God does give us the weaknesses to turn them into strengths I think.
Dan Black
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 11:00 pm
Since everyone has a sinful nature, shows we will all fail and make mistakes. I think the core of my weaknesses come from trying to lead my own life and not letting God take control. At times I try and take control instead of letting God be my leader. Great thoughts today.
Floyd
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 7:08 am
That’s pretty accurate for me too Dan. I think we’re all guilty of it to one degree or another. When He’s the leader our lives seem to march along with peace and joy regardless of our circumstances.
Voni Harris
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 9:01 am
Two words…busy and hectic. I was ALWAYS going somewhere and doing something and talking to someone and planning something else and I just couldn’t stop myself. Kinda describes me physically, emotionally, and intellectually. I’ve learned to really take the time to enjoy the process of things. Now that I write that last phrase, I remember it being told me in different contexts over and over. “Voni, take time to just enjoy the process.” Deeper friendships and richer learning and actual development of your soul…these all take time.
Blessings,
Voni
Floyd
Thursday, May 24, 2012 @ 9:14 am
Thanks for sharing Voni. Sounds like a type ‘A’ thing, I know a little about that too! It takes a while to figure out it really isn’t about finishing the race, it’s about enjoying it.