HORNSWAGGLED
image courtesy of photobucket.com
They seemed pleasant enough as they ordered their lunch. I stood patiently behind them as they asked every imaginable question under the sun, or menu as it were. They finally somehow did manage to order and the bolder of the two elderly women added, “And two glasses for water.”
I didn’t know if it was because they knew water was good for them and made a conscious effort to try to be healthy, or it was because they were on a fixed income and couldn’t afford drinks. Now I know drinking water isn’t the end of the world, but I wrestled with the notion.
I’ve known many retired people who lived on a meager fixed income, some of them who busted their butts the majority of their lives. The ones I’ve known didn’t whine, complain, or belly ache about their lot in life, they lived within their means and did it with honor.
I can’t recall too many folks like that when they didn’t appreciate what they had and shared the wisdom from their lives with gusto, with pride. The characteristics that made simple people great and collectively made our nation the best on earth.
I staggered and mumbled through my order thinking about the retired women. My brain bounced like a pinball… “My mom’s not nearly as old as these women… She doesn’t drink enough water… but she could order any drink she wanted… What if these women can’t?”
I considered buying the women drinks as I stood at the counter feeling guilty about the big plastic drink cup they handed me for my choice of any drink I wanted. I wondered if those women had kids… Where were their kids? Could their kids order any drink they wanted at the lunch place?
Maybe the restaurant should give elders big glasses automatically? Instead of those small thin plastic ones that say, “I’m either a cheapskate or too poor to afford a regular drink!” I caught myself in my emotions, “It’s not the restaurant’s place to buy these women drinks. After all, they are supplying plastic cups and free water to anyone who asks, be it thin and small, it is free, we can’t ask for more than that.”
As slow as I was ordering and pausing afterward to contemplate these elderly women’s lives that I didn’t know from Adam, or Eve, I ended up smack behind them at the beverage dispenser… Man alive they were slow, talking to each other took the longest. I waited even more patiently at the beverage center than I had at the front counter.
They finally got the little plastic cups filled up with ice, the bolder lady waiting on her friend before they filled up their cups… with Pepsi… I nodded my head slightly to myself… I spotted them refilling their free cups with more as I was leaving.
It wasn’t that they drank the free soft drinks that bothered me deeply…or that they hornswaggled the restaurant…
It was the fact that they could lie so easily…
Tuesday, July 24, 2012 @ 9:23 pm
I kept waiting for you to do something brother…buy them a drink…ask them a question…anything so the ending hit my funny bone. Sorry I am sure you did not mean it to be funny… I am still chuckling. Age does bring a certain I can get by with almost anything attitude because I am old. Wonder what they would have said or done had you confronted them…still chuckling. Great writing.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012 @ 9:57 pm
I’m glad I could make you chuckle. They seemed oblivious to the rest of the world and didn’t give it a second thought. But that’s what disturbed me, you know?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 1:14 am
I often wonder how people can do something so blatant like that. I have seen it also. But then I have to wonder how many times I have done that. Not take a drink because I can’t recall every doing that. But just lying and justifying it in some way. Great story Floyd. Twist at the end had me. 🙂
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:10 am
Thanks Bill. And yes, we all have the tendencies to justify our actions based on needs or desires to be sure. Gotta stay on guard…
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 6:53 am
I kept waiting for what HORNSWAGGLED means in the Greek! Seriously, we all run small cons from time to time…honesty seems to evade us when we need it the most…in the small things of life. Stories like this help me examine my own heart and I thank you for that my brother!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:11 am
Thanks Jay. It makes me examine mine as well. It’s the small things that reveal the truth in most ways I think. No one considers the small things to account for much, but in the end the small things say much more than our words.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:13 am
Oh yeah, I forgot where I’d heard “Hornswaggled,” then a while back I was watching the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Gene Wilder spouted it off. My whole life I’d used a term I couldn’t remember the origin of… wish it could have been better!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 6:59 am
It doesn’t pay to romanticize people, does it? Cheats come in all ages, sizes, and colors. It’s good to examine whether or now we rationalize any of our own less-than-perfect actions.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:16 am
Great point. Our first instinct is to romanticize people, especially the elderly, but yeah, none of us perfect for sure… Just another lesson for me in, “you can’t judge a book by it’s cover!” Thanks JoAnn! I did use to drink more than my share of Dr. Pepper… but I think I had your blessing!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:31 am
We EARNED every bit of soda we drank during our catering truck days! Remember how beastly hot it was?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:14 am
I remember! Funny at the ages we were, it was tough, but still packed with fun. Great, great, memories.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:00 am
I’ve seen this type of thing before too and it always throws me. Here I was reveling in the nostalgia of the good older people who were more honest, forthright, upstanding then this generation and especially a good deal of the next and you got me! Unfortunately, there a lot of people who lie, very well.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:18 am
I hear you April. I want to look to the next generation for their character. When I see them slip, like we all do, it throws me too! Thanks, “throws me.” I like that.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 7:31 am
Oh man…your ending got me!
I was wrapped up in your feelings. So often I find myself making up stories of others- their hardships, their pain, their sacrifices.
I want to see the good in people.
It’s disappointing to see reality sometimes.
But God loves them just the same…and we should too.
It reminds me of a time when I was a freshman in college. A man was holding a sign asking for help. His house had recently burned down, he lost his job and he needed to get to his sick kid in another state…could I spare some money?
His story was so convincing I literally gave him ALL I had- change and all.
A few months later I saw him in a different parking lot, same sign, same story.
Man, he was good!
But I didn’t let that stop me from giving when I could. Just made me less trusting and gullible.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:28 am
I appreciate your heart TC. I too have been duped more than once. I figure it’s not mine and it’s for God. Those that take advantage of God’s grace may well come around to live it… we just never know. Thanks TC!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 9:55 am
My grandmother was a Christian woman… A Christian woman who would bring a plastic bag from home and steal from the pizza buffet to take home to my uncles who were still living at home at that time. I was shocked and embarrassed when I witnessed it. I don’t know why there is a disconnect. In the modern age, I will be at conferences or churches selling my music. Someone will be at my table looking to buy a CD and her friend will come up and say, “Oh no, don’t get that. I just bought it and I’ll burn you a copy.” Sure we can whine about the biggest bands in the world who are upset about losing some revenue from this, but I’m just a pastor and worship leader who is trying to live for His Kingdom. It’s crazy how blatant people will be about it. Ahh, you probably didn’t bargain for my long-winded comment, but there you have it. 🙂 Thanks Floyd.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:33 am
I appreciate your comment Jason. There is a disconnect! The same people that swear by their honor show that they are missing it in the small ways! “He who can’t be trusted with little, can’t be trusted with much.” How is God ever going to honor people who don’t honor Him or themselves in the smallest of ways? I struggle to get it!
I’m also with you on the intellectual property material. Stealing is stealing… That would drive me absolutely out of my mind!
Thanks for the insight Jason.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:40 am
First of all, Floyd, you advanced my vocabulary today. I never heard the word “hornswaggled” before. So, your title intrigued me. As I’m reading, I thought what a patient and caring man you are. And then at the end, I thought, “What a man of integrity that you would care about their hornswoggling”.
I, too, find “the lying so easy” bothersome! Very bothersome. I ordered new glasses on Saturday. The woman who wrote up my order told me, “You can have them in 2-3 days.” So, I waited until today to call to inquire if they were ready. I was told it takes 5-8 days. It exasperated me! Why not tell the truth to begin with?! If it wasn’t the only eyeglass place our insurance allows us to use, I would have cancelled the order just on principle.
Hornswoggling is all around us! (LOL…I love saying that word!)
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 4:49 pm
I’m actually laughing out loud right now! You crack me up Diane! Yes, it seems the world is full of “Hornswogglers!” I may have been guilty of some type of Hornswoggling in the past as well… We have to keep our guards up I guess. It’s good to laugh this life isn’t it? Thanks Diane.
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 3:39 am
It is SO good to laugh, Floyd! So good!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 7:27 am
It is! Even in the midst of life, regardless of what’s going on, it is a gift from God. And thanks for bringing out in me!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:48 am
Floyd,
How many people eat some of the produce (grapes, cherries…) or sample some of the loose candy at a grocery store? Maybe they were just sampling the soda like at the grocery stores. I watched a young lady at “Sprouts” in line behind me pile cherries in her mouth with one hand and spit the pitts out in the other as fast as she could. I pointed her out to Desiree’ and just laughed quietly. The cashier did not say a thing. I wish that a stuck around to see how she handled the pitts and the money exchange or transaction. Need a hand wipe lady? Do you want to pay for those pitts? Good one Floyd.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 4:55 pm
That’s too funny! When I see that type of stuff, I think to myself a question for them, “So that’s how much your worth?” – “That’s the value of your life?” – “That’s how much you cost, that’ll buy you off?” They really believer they’re being clever, that’s the most amusing part of it. They think they’re actually getting away with something or pulling one over on the place of business.
I think the next time I see that kind of thing, I’ll offer to pay for what they’ve stolen. What’ya think? I know you would!
Thanks Lanny!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 @ 10:24 pm
I loved your story and the surprise ending! Oh me Oh my — Guilty as charged!
Many Years ago I had my three granddaughters with me and no credit card and a certain amount of money. They were hungry, so we stopped and I ordered each a simple cheap sandwich and asked for complementary water for us all. I had enough to pay the bill. I went to the soda dispenser and for the life of me there was NO button for water. Sometimes I miss things, so I called my granddaughters and asked them it they could find the button for water. NO none of us could see it. So I told them, just get any drink you want to, and they did. By the way, Now a days, Robert and I usually take the water, and now somehow the water button has appeared. Probably got Hornswaggled too many times and decided to fix the water button.
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 7:26 am
I love your heart Hazel! I know that God knows you tried! Funny thing is we all do a little Hornswaggling at one time or another, just in different ways. Thanks Hazel.
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 4:45 am
Just had to come by and say the word one more time: HORNSWOGGLED!!!! LOL…It just cracks me up!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 7:28 am
You did it again! This could be a classic! You know, the thing that seems to make you laugh every time?
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 7:32 am
So sad! Can’t imagine my Mom ever doing that! PLUS She had to have her ice tea with LOTS of sugar!!!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 7:41 am
Sounds like my mom! Uhhh, I’ve never been an ice tea fan… especially with sugar!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 8:25 am
Once again you knocked me out with this post! Loved it. You really got me at the end. I’ve been with people who steal the free drinks, cheat a little on their taxes and “borrow” things when the owner isn’t looking. It honestly makes me feel sick inside, but there was a day when I had my time of feeling owed the good things in life and I helped myself. Praise God it was a long time ago and He has made me new.
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 9:18 am
Thanks Audra. We’ve all been guilty of it to one degree or another. It takes a conscious effort to weigh our character and comes to us at different times… It’s not a pleasant thing to consider our justifications and short comings…
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 9:48 am
Oh my! I laughed and laughed. I was already “in line” behind you ready to pay for their meal! Entitlement seems to know no age barriers! The human animal can certainly rationalize everything, can’t we? Yeah, I am always taken a little aback by stuff like that.
Tell my mom the water button is usually on the left of the iced tea dispenser…really small on the upper left. LOL! I think most places have made it more noticeable.
Tell Jason I will buy his CD.
Your story reminds me of a former friend ( I say that loosely). She had a huge B-Day party for her young daughter at some expensive ice cream place and invited a couple of my kids. I was a little hesitant because I knew her budget and how much things could cost there. She must have invited the neighborhood.I offered to pay for my kids. Anyway, cutting to the chase, when she went to pay she discovered that they had only charged 1/2 ( for one table). Later she told me about this and “how good God was” and how it really saved her some money. I told her it was stealing and that she should have asked them to correct the ticket since she noticed it at the time. I said it was a test and she flunked! Of course she got mad at me. Ha ha! The Word teaches that we perish for a lack of knowledge ( and obedience). I think some Christian people prefer to stay stupid so they don’t have to be accountable. Sure is a wake-up.
😉 Parting note…You probably don’t want to hear this, but those soda machines are not able to be thoroughly cleaned ( and they are rarely cleaned) so the bacteria count is out of this world. ( from the last lesson at the dental assisting school…LOL!) Thank for an entertaining post!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 1:28 pm
Thanks Nancy. That story and how people hide from the truth is so true! Often we believe our ignorance will bail us out, when in reality, it only seems to make matters worse.
Bacteria in the soda machine…. Thanks… I don’t think I’ll ever look at one and not think of this lesson…. You know, I was quite content to be dumb and happy!
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 10:50 am
I don’t know what happens in old age. I used to take my mother-in-law shopping when she was alive and if we had to wait in a long line for something she would barge right up to the front ahead of everyone and get her purchases paid. It used to embarrass me so much I didn’t want people to think we were together. Couldn’t say anything as she never wanted my husband to marry me in the first place. He was going to be a wealthy engineer and I was poor, not in the same “class.” The marriage lasted over 25 yrs. though.
Thursday, July 26, 2012 @ 1:31 pm
Well I for one appreciate your heart! People mistake others kindness for weakness, your mother in law obviously made that mistake… Thanks for sharing, I’ve missed hearing from you here!
Friday, July 27, 2012 @ 1:57 pm
Floyd,
When I started to read your blog, I thought, “Oh, no, he must have been standing behind me in line.” Except for an occasional root beer float, I haven’t had a soda in about seven years. I almost always drink water when I go out to eat. As I fill my plastic see-through cup with water, I look around for the Soda Police to see if they are checking on me. I feel sorry for those who cheat and wonder how they became misguided. We old people ought to be setting a good example.
Thanks for your story. If I ever think about cheating, I always remember there is someone who is watching–my Heavenly Father. Keep your good heart.
BTW, the dark background on your blog makes it really hard to read on an iPad. I’ll have to ask my grandchildren how to fix that.
Friday, July 27, 2012 @ 4:50 pm
Thanks Patty. You’re funny! The Soda Police are lurking!
I love this picture for the background, I’ll have to see if I can lighten it on my end. It’s great to hear from you again!
Saturday, July 28, 2012 @ 9:48 am
*shakes head* I’m glad no one caught them and had to be the ones to call them out.
Saturday, July 28, 2012 @ 2:02 pm
I’m not sure they would have cared!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 @ 8:43 am
Sad but funny. I can imagine two older women doing something like this. It goes to show even sweat older women can do wrong.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 @ 8:50 am
Great point Dan. We can never judge a book by it’s cover… You’d think I’d be old enough to figure that out by now!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 @ 8:59 am
I still wrongfully judge people at times. We are both still learning:)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012 @ 3:56 pm
Yes. Sad. And very true. Believe me, I know.
Good sharing….
Wednesday, August 1, 2012 @ 5:45 pm
Thank you Joanne.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012 @ 6:21 pm
Yes, Yes they can lie, like rugs! It is horribly dissapointing, but even more dissapointing after living here for so long, that I grow to expect it.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012 @ 6:44 pm
I know… It’s heartbreaking. What does it say for our society if our elders lack wisdom?