here to there

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I watch her… She doesn’t know it, but sometimes I stop and try to follow her moves until she disappears in the crowd. Sometimes when I drop her off at school, I pull out onto the main road and slow to watch as she makes her way through the breezeway entrance to her school.

Our youngest has a distinct gait, it’s a relaxed pace because she’s early, due to me dropping her off. I can pick her out of a crowd, at least until it gets too crowded and distant, she disappears… like a leaf on a stream… It’s troubling to watch… I’ve done it with the older girls when they were young and it always sat uneasy with me. Still does.

I know today isn’t likely to be the last day I see her  walk away, but that day is just around the corner and I’m not looking forward to it. Change is inevitable in this life, the deepening wrinkles in my face remind me of that fact. I won’t be able to protect my daughters forever, but I watch out for them. I’ve watched our older daughters walk, run and drive away, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I recall as a kid floating things down a river, stream, or even gutter, watching them disappear. I also remember a few balloons, the ones we didn’t suck the helium out of to talk like cartoon characters, I let go and watched them disappear into the heavens.

At some point on this physical earth we too will disappear like a leaf on a river. Even as a kid, letting something go and watching it disappear, never to be seen again, didn’t sit well with my mind, maybe even my soul. The river of life carries us along… How many people and places we’ve seen, known, and shared our lives with have already passed? I suspect more than we’re comfortable with admitting.

I don’t know for sure, but I think when the river of our life has run it’s course, it leaves us on the opposite bank from eternity. I’ve seen first hand loved ones about to cross that piece of water, from physical to spiritual, ask loved ones already finished with their river of life, how to get across it… Then they disappear… Just like the things treasured, let go by the innocent hands of youth…

As an adult I’d never let go of my beloved to let them disappear across the water of life… but it’s not our choice. God knows the number of our days, nothing disappears from the omnipotent eyes of our Father. For those of us that know Him, know we’re not perfect, our acknowledgment to Him and the sacrifice of His Son is the vessel that grants us safe passage from here to there.

We also know that the loved ones who know Him won’t disappear forever, just for now, just for a season. The river of life will be a bit rough, but at the end of the journey there is perfect peace and rest.

In the meantime… All we can do is follow the Light as the river carries us from physical sight…

If I miss you floating down your river of life, I’ll meet you on the other side…

As we all make our way, from here to there…