FRIEND OR FOE
I wish I could take credit for some fairly mature Biblical and heavenly perspective in action, but that would be stretching it and destroying the truth behind my actions. I went to breakfast with a buddy of mine a while back. We used to work out at the gym together for a time until he moved to the southern part of the city.
That little difficult to describe thing in the heart or mind tickled my core and made me think of the guy I’ll call Carl. Carl had some medical issues last year that I’d texted him about, but I never heard back from him. I texted him again and he responded saying he’d come north to work out with me and catch up on Saturday.
We talked as much as we worked out while we caught up with life, families, politics, and all things general and specific. We went to breakfast and ate what we both know better than to. At least I didn’t eat biscuits… probably more to give Carl grief about as much as me trying to eat healthy…
Carl and I have a lot in common; we’re the same age, he has a daughter as well, we have similar political views, and even when we disagree on matters such as religion, we’re mature enough to seek first to understand at least as much as we seek to be understood. We’ve had some serious discussions over the last five to ten years…
Carl’s an intelligent guy, he has two degrees, but you couldn’t tell that by looking at him. He used to have hair like me, but time started stealing so much of it, he gave in and went the opposite direction – straight clean shaved head to top off his big frame and persona.
I know a lot of people that Carl knows and I have both worked out with over the years that are Christians. While most of them don’t look down their noses at Carl or me, few of them would call him a friend or go out to eat with him, but in fairness, they probably aren’t called to…
After the years of being his workout partner, theological debate competitor, friend whose concerned about his daughter, his health, and goes out to get something to eat with once in a while, I realize I’ve stumbled across, by God’s grace, how were to treat all people.
Carl knows how I believe and he knows I’d like him to believe and trust in God too, but that doesn’t mean I’m not called and blessed to have a person like Carl in my life.
I can go places and do things that some other Christians can’t because I’ve been redeemed. God has transformed me from a prodigal. God shows us how to see others in the world the same way He saw me… Sometimes it seems like the ones who are the furthest from God are really the closest…
Just because Carl works in a strip club that doesn’t fit my lifestyle or belief, doesn’t mean that I should avoid a life that God has placed in mine. I fall short in most areas, but my redemption reminds me to leave judgment up to God… I don’t mean more to my Father than Carl or anybody else in this world…
Friend or foe…
Hazel Moon
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 6:20 pm
I have a “Christian” acquaintance who took a job at our local casino at their ale bar as a hostess. She had never worked, and has almost no education, and children born previous her Jesus life. So this may have been the only work available? I did not question but silently perhaps judged her. Then she took a course to be an EMT and I was proud of her. I told her so on FB. This is one of those posts that causes one to think, – – can we be friends with those we do not agree with? Those who are perhaps off in their theology? It pays to accept them where they are and be a friend, because YOU may be the one friend that they can count on. This post will no doubt show up on “Tell Me a Story.”
Floyd
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 6:45 pm
Thanks, Hazel. I spent years judging people while not being able to see around the plank in my eye. If we show them love, they will see our Father… No way to resist Him. We’re just there for the miracle. I’m always honored to share at your inspiring site, “Tell Me A Story.” Bless you, my friend.
Lenna Wyatt
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 6:29 pm
I have an agnostic friend and we get along in so many ways except religion of course. His is a religion, though he wouldn’t call it that, mine is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. But we’ve gotten along for 15 years, he, now in Texas for the last 7 or so years, and me here in AZ. There are people you want to see the Lord move into their hearts when they just won’t accept the truth. My prayer is that I will see him one day bowing before the Lord like the rest of us there.
Floyd
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 6:48 pm
Good for you, Lenna. I know first hand the heart that you treat all people with, it is the heart of our Father. I remember the kind smile you offered many years back now at the writers group… And you thought I didn’t notice! Thank you, my friend. I always appreciate hearing from you here!
Voni Harris
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 7:21 pm
I have a Christian friend whose Christian husband “had to” quit his job as a chemical engineer because he worked for a company that made alcohol. Judging!
Blessings,
Voni
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:45 am
It’s tough to make calls in other people’s lives. I’m not sure if sometimes God doesn’t place people in certain circumstances to show His word through love… at least for a time. I try not to judge, but it isn’t easy in this weakened flesh. Good scenario to contemplate, Voni. Clever! Thanks for the thought provoking comment!
Lynn Morrissey
Sunday, February 24, 2013 @ 8:16 pm
Amen, Floyd! You just re-preached the very sermon that my pastor did this morning. Carl sounds like a great guy. You don’t actually say whether or not he is a Christian, but just one with whom you disagree on some spiritual issues. And Christians can disagree. But we will certainly disagree w/ non-Christians on matters of faith. But what of it? How else can we show the love of Christ if we cloister ourselves off in our little Christian cliques, and how else can we tell the world about our Savior if we don’t associate with people different from us? And today, our pastor was talking about how Jesus hung out w/ sinners–tax collectors, prostitutes, and the like. In the end, none of us is better. We just know the Savior who is best, and who saved us in spite of ourselves and our sins.
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:48 am
Exactly, Lynn. How do you reach the lost world for Christ if you’re not in their lives and caring for them. Christ cared for all, but showed it in action to the least lovable of all. Not sure how the modern church so easily misses that. The real work of Christ is done in the streets… sometimes gutters. Where we would all be if not for the grace of God. “There go I… Thanks, Lynn, I’m with you 100%.
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 3:10 am
I don’t think you should ever stop being Carl’s friend. It matters not where he works or what he does for a living. I’m thinking of Jesus and his visit to Matthew’s and his visit to the lepers, etc. Called to go where no one else would He gathered followers (think Mary Magdalene). I am also thinking of Paul’s words: “How can they hear unless someone tell them?” if we all backed away how would the “Carls” ever hear? Why have xxxchurch? Why have Ex-Hookers for Jesus? Yeah, you get my point.
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 3:28 am
Sorry Floyd. that is Hooker for Jesus. It is the ministry of Oz Fox (Stryper) and his wife to hookers. (She used to be one but is no longer).
bill (cycleguy)
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 3:29 am
Hookers. Sheesh going to be a long day!! 🙂
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:54 am
We don’t worry about the meaningless details around here, Bill. If we did I’d be in big trouble!
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:53 am
I hadn’t heard of that organization, but got the gist. Good for her. God is everywhere, especially when people are at the lowest part and searching for peace… That’s what I mean by it seems that the ones who are the furthest are often really the closest to God.
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:51 am
I get your point exactly, Bill. We’re on the same page. I shake my head when I see well meaning Christians who look down and avoid the lost of this world. They miss the heart of God. God’s heart is for all of His children, not just the blessed or what the world considers lucky. How is it that Christian hearts aren’t broken daily as they walk through a lost world? Thanks for the heart and spirit to share His truth, Bill. You’re on the front line leading the way. Nice job.
Dan Erickson
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:54 am
I have an old friend who seems to be hopelessly addicted to prescription drugs. He hasn’t had a job in over 10 years. Most people would consider him a loser and write him off. I’ve remained his friend and it’s good for both of us. I believe God wants us to be tolerant.
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 7:04 am
Amen, Dan. We all have some weakness, maybe just more acceptable to society. It could be excessive pride, insecurity, eating habits, you get the idea. We all have a weakness and need to be tolerant of others whose are just different than ours. God is the answer to all of them and none of us reach perfection this side of heaven. Good call, brother. It is good for all of us.
Audra Krell
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 10:09 am
Like they always say, you might be the only Jesus Carl ever sees. And you see Christ in Carl. Sounds like a wonderful relationship to me!
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 5:08 pm
Thanks, Audra. I like that line. I’d forgotten about it. It certainly has taken a long time to start to figure this out!
Jillie
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 10:51 am
Hi Floyd. Good words today! Totally agree with you and the others here. I don’t get it that we ‘talk’ so much about ‘witnessing to the unbelievers’ in our lives and then pretty-much keep ourselves in our holy huddles. We may have unbelievers around us in our workplace or in the businesses we frequent, but personal friends who are unbelievers? Nah. I even heard a woman at church say that she feels like she needs to take a bath after her workday…she feels so ‘soiled’ from the world! YIKES!
When I first came to know Christ, I felt like I was in ‘culture shock’ upon re-entering ‘the world’. I noticed every sinful thing around me. I had to get over that quickly. When I read posts like this, I always think of my oldest friend, (and sister-in-law), who came to Christ years ago from a background of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Not a lot has changed in her life. She lives pretty much as an unbeliever. I’ve had to readjust my thinking, always trying to put myself in her shoes. Trying to reason in my mind like she does. She wants no part in “organized religion” as she calls it. (That’s funny, neither do I!) But, continuing to love her no matter what, has taught me more than she’ll ever know. She brings such a richness to my life–I seriously don’t know what I’d do without her! We’ve had some huge differences in our discussions, but we learn from each other. And always go on loving one another.
And as you say, “But for the grace of God…go I.” I pray for her that she’ll one day see the grace of God in her life, and surrender to it. And for my family, who are largely unbelievers. Like Jesus’ family, they don’t want to hear ‘religious Jillie’ talk about her faith, but they cannot stop me from loving them and praying for them, amen?!?
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 5:17 pm
“Amen!” And, “They don’t care how much you know until you know how much care.” Good for you, Jillie. Talk is cheap, you’re walking the walk… Now I’m going to have to add “Holy huddles” to my list of favorite sayings! Thanks for sharing, Jillie. You have a way to make me smile.
tcavey
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 12:28 pm
I shouldn’t be surprised we have something else in common.
I have friends like Carl, friends other Christian’s wouldn’t go to dinner with- though you’re nicer than I am in saying they probably aren’t called to (I’m asking God to help me with my attitude in this department).
I won’t go into detail here about my long conversations with God about this, I’ll just say God has shown me He is like a perfume in me. My “smell” turns some people off, but to others it’s attractive…even if they don’t realize the smell is coming from being close to God in me.
They know I’m Christian, but it doesn’t turn them off. Instead we have a precious friendship built upon love and respect. It’s beautiful…other Christians are missing out (just realized, this sort of goes with my post today about lost sheep).
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 5:18 pm
Yeah, you and I are on the same page for sure… But then again we usually are! You’re right, TC. The others don’t know what they’re missing by serving God as we serve and care for others. It’s a hard thing to grasp. Thanks, TC.
Mike
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 12:47 pm
Jesus didn’t spend his time looking for the righteous to hang out with. I would say many who visit this blog would take exception to some of my doctrinal beliefs, but that’s okay. God meets us all where we’re at and leads us down the path He wishes us to go. If God is first in our imperfect hearts, he can use us to influence or at least be a positive example to those He may be working on. I know lots of Christians that are quick to judge others. I’ve had too many years of sinful nature in the past to do that. If God can take me, and who I was, who am I to judge others.
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 5:20 pm
You and I are on the exact same page, Mike. I couldn’t agree more. Well said. Our Father uses different bait for different fish… Thanks, Mike. I always appreciate your honest and direct style.
Ngina Otiende
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 5:25 pm
I just read TC’s post today and it seems God is speaking the same thing to us (i guess most of us are hard of hearing 🙂 )
lately, God’s been teaching (more like re-re-re-teaching) me how to love people. He’s been reminding me that He’s the Shepherd of those in the sheepfold and those outside of it (John 10:16) and He wants my mind and heart adjusted accordingly.
i love this statement – “Sometimes it seems like the ones who are the furthest from God are really the closest…”
Work in me Lord 🙂
Floyd
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 6:45 pm
I hear your heart, Ngina. We’re all in the same boat and it’s a good boat to be sure. We all need a reminder… His love shines through us. Thanks, Ngina.
Joanne Norton
Monday, February 25, 2013 @ 9:12 pm
Part of what you described is exactly truthful for all of us. We see and deal with so many family and friends who don’t live our way.
Over the years, I’ve been at the bars to see my sisters and their husbands, nieces, nephews, etc., in Tacoma … the only way I could visit them sometimes. Sometimes could stay for a while; sometimes, b/c of language and dangerous drunk situations rising quickly, I’d have to leave ASAP. YEARS and years ago, b/c of my own “hanging out at the bars” stretch [when I wasn’t even 21, yet], I sometimes had to walk across the street or avoid the block, b/c I knew too many people, cared about them, and could too easily be drawn back in and put myself at risk by taking some drinks.
I still have to be careful in some ways and open doors in others. Listening to the Lord, following HIM and His heart to others, that’s what counts. In our present-day world, much is increasing again, in so many cultural areas. Scary.
By being an accepting friend, such as yours, may plant seed of the Lord into his heart … and it may grow and blossom. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen in my family. So, serve HIM, no matter what our other Christian family/friends say. Our Lord knows more than anyone surrounding us does about the hearts of the non-Christians.
Yammering at you again, Floyd. Blessings…
Floyd
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 @ 8:17 am
Thanks, Joanne. Yammering isn’t bad! I appreciate your heart and know that we share much in common, most important of which is the humility of being redeemed. What a blessing. Thanks for sharing your heart here and in the lost world.
Brad gore
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 @ 11:11 am
I have had and still have many friends that might be considered ( less desirable ) and I’m certain I’ve been considered the same by many. I try to never judge others in any way and I know your the same. I think it’s what we are supposed to do. Thx for your constant inspiration
Floyd
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 @ 2:23 pm
How did I already know that? Maybe because I know that you hang out with me!!! You have a great heart and I think our similar paths have brought us to the point that we see too much of God’s redemption in the mirror to look at anyone else any different than we do ourselves. Thanks, Brad. I always appreciate your comments and heart. Good stuff for sure.
Brad gore
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 @ 4:30 pm
Your a great person my friend. I love the way you can always put a huge smile on my face. Thx
Floyd
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 @ 5:46 pm
Brother, that smile is contagious! I chuckle just thinking about it!
Loren Pinilis
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 8:41 am
It’s a great gift of God that we can develop such great relationships with people who are atheists and agnostics and the like. I think we need to be somewhat guarded that we don’t let the world influence us, but at the same tim we can build relationships and influence others positively.
Loren Pinilis
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 8:45 am
It’s a great gift of God that we can develop such great relationships with people who are atheists and agnostics and the like. I think we need to be somewhat guarded that we don’t let the world influence us, but at the same tim we can build relationships aIt’s a great gift of God that we can develop such great relationships with people who are atheists and agnostics and the like. I think we need to be somewhat guarded that we don’t let the world influence us, but at the same tim we can build relationships and influence others positively.andinfluence others positively.
Loren Pinilis
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 8:54 am
Oops. My computer messed up while doing this comment. Sorry!
Floyd
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 1:06 pm
No worries! I knew the gist of it. Twice is even better anyway!
Floyd
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 1:05 pm
Great point, Loren. We need to be steadfast in our faith and heart. It is God that draws others and His power is evident when we don’t let the lost world influence us. It is Him, not us. Good call. Thanks, Loren.
Nancy
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 6:34 pm
Several years ago, a pastor laid his hands on my to pray a blessing. In part to that blessing, he spoke, ” And you will touch the leper”. Enough said.
You are out there doing the same thing!!
All Christians must be instant in season as well as use discretion; then do what the Holy Spirit directs. I hope Carl eventually comes to know Christ as His personal savior.
Thanks Floyd!
Nancy
Friday, March 1, 2013 @ 9:27 am
I was thinking about this some more….( See your stories stick)
Anyway I think it’s called “engaging the culture” – God’s kids are often afraid of it. Not necessarily because they will backslide, but because it might require commitment on their part.
On the other hand, I know some christian people who hang out at clubs with their ungodly friends. Their testimony – – isn’t. Their friends still are still no closer to wanting a a life change by Jesus. I think that action cannot be compared to a missionary who lives among some godless tribe and is able to preach the gospel. Some have made that comparison. Must use wisdom.
Floyd
Friday, March 1, 2013 @ 3:09 pm
I think there are levels of commitment for all of us. Some who might not be ready for the big leagues can make a difference anywhere, but I agree, the measurement is the love and commitment shown and the truth be upheld in action. It’s tough to decipher sometimes. I know for sure that I’m not in the big leagues. For those who are I respect and admire and try to do my part in supporting them. They are the strong among us… for sure in how they allow God to use their entire life…