DRIVER’S SEAT
I wish I could say I did it with grace, that every time my heart was pure and I was perfect, but I don’t want to insult anyone’s intelligence, not to mention I gave up lying to myself a long time ago. I have been better than I used to be that last few years though, still not perfect, but I could see the end was in sight and wanted to finish well.
I wonder how much time I’ve spent sitting in my trucks over the years, waiting for daughters who were never ready on time… There wasn’t any way for me not to count how many minutes I’d sit waiting impatiently for them. Sometimes I’d tell them, sometimes wisdom would prevail, not often enough, but occasionally I’d keep my mouth shut.
After I’d moved us north and a long way from the three different schools the girls were in, that inconveniently started at close to the same time, it was impossible for my wife to get all three of them to school. That’s way past the ten year time frame that marks the beginning of my stint as a daughter hauler.
I knew, even back then, that it would one day come to and end, that they’d, Lord willing, all someday grow up, take the driver’s seat, and drive themselves to school. The oldest drove herself back and forth from college, now to work, and just today, her mom and herself to the bridal shop in search of a wedding dress. The middle drove herself back and forth to college as well and still makes the drive to see us from the city she stayed to work in.
But before they were all grown up, we shared the cab of my different trucks over the years, struggled to sometimes sound civil to one another. They would sometimes turn their heads away from me to answer the questions that I knew might make them roll their eyes in frustration.
This week marks the last week of school for the youngest, she turns sixteen in a couple of weeks… she and my days of torment are coming to an end. There have been good days and bad days, silent mornings and others that were filled with words, music, sometimes singing, and an occasional bet on who could get the closest to guessing how cold the temperature would register by the time we got to school. Then in the warm days of the year, how hot it would get.
Regardless how imperfect the day or the dad, the ritual always ended with a kiss on the side of my daughter’s head, carefully so as to not mess up the hair, and the, “Have a good day, love you, babe.”
“Love you too, dad,” she’d answer, even when she wouldn’t be in the mood to.
I’m truly going to miss that… I think it’s in the day to day rituals that we grind against any and all obstacles and odds that show true love. It’s in the love we show with our actions in our imperfect world that we reflect our Father’s perfect love.
I would have never been my choice to take my girls to school, but in my imperfect choices in this life, I find God’s perfect love and plans for redemption in my life… glad He chose my girls to show me… I’d have never known what I had missed.
I find it’s like that with most things in this life; our stumbling He turns into a beautiful dance.
Bill (cycelguy)
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 2:24 am
Since I was in the office so early my times of taking our girls to school are slim to none. Walking in one town; then bus in another, then their mom/friends; until finally upon occasion driving. We both needed our cars so letting them drive every day was out of the question. Can’t say I miss those days since I never experienced them. But I do love to hear “love you too dad.”
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:04 pm
Good call, Bill. The “I love you’s” are the best part.
Thomas Mason
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:03 am
There are days I wish my daughter would hurry up and be grown already and there are days I want the sweet baby in my arms again. Most days I can see how God fathers me and his frustrations with me at times in how I relate to her.
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:05 pm
It’s funny how we can see the relation with our heavenly Father in and through our children’s lives. I think that’s one of the gifts of wisdom from Him. It goes so fast, cherish it, brother.
Lisa notes
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 10:17 am
A wedding dress? Congrats on about to gain a son-in-law.
Aw, I’m sorry you’re about to lose your job as a daughter hauler, but it sounds like you had a good run. I’m sure you were wonderful and created tons of good memories that will be treasured more than you’ll ever know.
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:06 pm
I hope you’re right, Lisa. I think the oldest did pick up some bad driving habits from me! She’s got a lead foot too! I’m far from perfect… just ask them! Thanks, Lisa, yeah, we had a good run…
Chuck Allen
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 12:29 pm
Wow. You have lots of changes going on! An upcoming wedding? Congratulations.
Last year my son started driving. The schools are close enough that he can take his brother and sister as well. It is sure convenient, but I do miss those morning rides. (My wife and I usually split them, but she ended up with more of them than I did.)
Keep up the beautiful dancing! 🙂
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:08 pm
It’s amazing how many great memories you can create in a short trip to and from school, but it’s the frequency of it, that’s the foundation of love. And thanks, Chuck, mine’s a stumble, our Father just makes it look like a dance…
Caleb Suko
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 1:45 pm
I like your title of a daughter hauler! I’m certainly in that season of life and have to often remind myself that this is a season and that I shouldn’t take my time with my kids for granted. Thanks for the good word Floyd!
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:09 pm
For sure, Caleb. Enjoy it. It’ll be gone before you can get the words, “I love you too, babe” out…
Hazel Moon
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 5:19 pm
What a sweet story and your days of hauling are not really over. Perhaps to school maybe. We walked to school and there was a time the local bus took our kids to high school. Congratulations on a soon to be wedding. Thanks for allowing this post to show up at Tell Me a Story. http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:13 pm
Thanks, Hazel. Changes are a blessing, they just don’t always feel like it. Honored to share my little story at your wonderful site, Hazel!
Sharon
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:12 pm
Oh Floyd, how lovely.
I can remember those days well. The endless hours in the car, shuttling my sons to and back from school, sports practices and games, and every other *errand* that came up. And yes, when they started to drive, it was a relief in many ways (except for the constant worrying…ahem). However, as I reflected then, and now, I see how many important conversations and moments happened in those seemingly *meaningless* car trips. So, I’m glad that you had the privilege of those moments, too. They pass too quickly.
This line: “I think it’s in the day to day rituals that we grind against any and all obstacles and odds that show true love.” Is it not the same way with the Lord? I have so often found Him in the *meaningless* moments of everyday life, and it is there that true love is experienced, huh?!
Keep on truckin’ brother! And keep stumbling to His song!
GOD BLESS!
Floyd
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 7:17 pm
Excellent point, Sharon! It is like that with our Father as well! And yes, it does go by in a blink… What a blessing to get to live that part of life, even if it was by default or my fault! I’ll keep on stumbling toward our Father, Sharon. Thanks for your insight and wisdom, sister.
Cheryl Smith
Monday, July 14, 2014 @ 11:30 pm
This was a precious post and made me cry. All those days that seemed so long and so mundane and so irritating, at times, are now memories that will become more and more precious with time. They grow up so fast…the days are long, but the years are so short. I know your girls will always remember the Daddy who made the sacrifice and took the time to make sure they made it safely to school each day. They will miss those kisses and parting words…I miss my Daddy SO much. He has been gone for 14 years now, but the pain is still there. Girls never stop missing and loving their daddies…they always hold a special place in their hearts…even on those not-so-good days. God bless you for sharing your heart here…your words are so real and such a blessing. 🙂
Floyd
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:48 pm
Thanks for the wise and kind words, Cheryl. You share in wisdom, sister. Much treasure in your words.
Pam
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:19 am
A beautiful post, Floyd. I guess spiritually we never really outgrow the need for God to drive us around. My problem is stealing the keys and trying to take the car out myself!
Floyd
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:50 pm
You too? I think you should share that story! I’m with you in Who it is we need, and nothing in this world can replace or fill that need. Thanks, Pam. I want to hear that story!
Jason Stasyszen
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 7:49 am
Great, great post, Floyd. I have to remind myself (and get reminders like this) that when I’m frustrated for having to take this one there and that one here and interrupting my “important” things, I will truly miss it and having those moments with my kids, even when we’re all a little frustrated. Thank you sir! I appreciate your wisdom and heart.
Floyd
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:51 pm
I’m with you, Jason. We all need reminders in this life, even when we know it’s hard to focus on the truth. Enjoy your time, my friend. Thanks, Jason.
Audra Krell
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 9:16 am
Last year, the middle boy drove his younger brother to school and back every day. Now, I’ve got about two months to drive him to school as the middle boy is off to college and the youngest turns 16 in October. Sometimes I finally get a few things right with the third kid….going to make the most of every trip, because like you, and in the famous words of Trace Adkins, “I’m gonna miss this, gonna want this back, gonna wish these days, hadn’t gone by so fast….”
Floyd
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:52 pm
That’s an anthem all of us sing, sister… just not as well as Trace! Well, except for you maybe! Enjoy your time, Audra. Thanks!
Bernard
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 10:12 am
Excellent post. I know what it is like to be taxi daddy. My oldest son drives me nuts when I go to pick him up and it takes another 20 minutes for him to come out. Next year he is graduating and we both have to make changes.
Floyd
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 4:53 pm
They do really test our patience, don’t they? It’s tough to see a world and grasp it, I didn’t do a very good job at it either! My poor parents… Hang in there, Bernard! Thanks for sharing, I know how it feels!
Jennifer Dougan
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 7:16 pm
Wow, she’s turning sixteen. What nice memories you have of driving her to school, etc. You might get more of those yet. 🙂
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
Floyd
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 5:34 pm
Oh no! I hope I don’t have to teach a grandkid! I really faded in the ten years between the first and the last one! But I’ve learned to never say never! Thanks, Jennifer.
Betty Draper
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 8:21 pm
Our kids love to tell the story of the only wreak I had driving them to school on snow covered roads. We had this pea green ugly small car which the girls ( I car pooled) hated to be seen in. Those stories have stood the test of time for getting a laugh when talked about. Ace left too early for work to be part of those special times. I say special because like all times in our kids lives they pass all too quickly. I am looking forward if God so wills it to being a part of driving our grand children to school some time. Our little five year old Em starts kindergarten next month. She has this little shy smile when we talk about “going to school”. You still have some more special times to put in your memory bank brother, yikes, a wedding. So that why you are taking dancing lessons? Love the way you wove dancing into your post along with memories that stirred our hearts to tears, that is good writing. Moving post.
Floyd
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 5:36 pm
Awe thanks, Betty. And thanks for the reminder of the chapters I have left to be amazed by our Father’s love and grace. Your granddaughter sounds too cute! You are so blessed! I hope you get a picture of her on that first day of school and write a post about it, that would do my heart good, sister. Thanks, Betty.
Nannette and the Sweetheart
Tuesday, July 15, 2014 @ 9:20 pm
I would give anything for those days again, Floyd 🙂 thank you for letting us in your world today. And a wedding! Oh, my! I had three sons and so far only one wedding, what an exciting time. But I have heard about those Father of the Bride’s…lol. Saying a prayer for you today! Beautiful story.
Floyd
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 5:38 pm
You’re welcome into my, not so perfect, world, Nannette. I appreciate the prayers, and I’m sending one up for you and yours while on your mission in Europe. God bless.
Mia
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 3:55 am
Dear Floyd
Oh, I am delighted that you are going to be a father-in-law.I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss these times driving and fetching my children to and from school. I think it is some of the best times of life one doesn’t actually want back. Looking forward to the wedding photos.
Luv XX
Mia
Floyd
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 5:39 pm
Very well said, Mia! “The best times of life one doesn’t actually want back.” It’s bittersweet, but that’s a wise person that can realize the truth in your statement. Thanks, Mia, and I’ll be posting some kind of pictures!
Barb Raveling
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 4:32 pm
Ah, you have lucky girls! My husband can relate to waiting for daughters to be ready to go. He used to say that when one of the girls said they were ready to go, that that was his cue to lie down on the couch and take a nap because it would be another fifteen minutes after they said that. 🙂
Floyd
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
A wise man, your husband. I wonder how many minutes I’ve set in my truck with it running, waiting for one of the girls? I probably really don’t want to know! I’m the lucky or blessed one, Barb. Thanks for reminding me of it!
Joanne Norton
Saturday, July 19, 2014 @ 9:25 pm
This car around and about thing is so true. I have sometimes taken grandkids or kids or others places and just had to focus on that when I’d hoped and planned to do other things. I try to be nice, but even if I SAY something nice, my eyes DON’T look “sweetness and light” and that’s what they stick with. In this 45 years that I’ve been officially driving [did it a little before that when, in my teens, I was rescuing drunkers and driving their car to their place or a safe place], but now, I focus on where to go and what to do and who to take around and about. I really try to be nice, but it ain’t always perfect. Oh, well. Life is life. Bless you. [And I know this isn’t exactly what should fit on your blog piece, but it grabbed me in just MY piece. As I often say: Oh, Well. 😉
Floyd
Sunday, July 20, 2014 @ 4:32 pm
I like your take, Joanne. That’s a good point about what our children see in us, but they also saw you care for all sorts of folks and always at a sacrifice to you. Your actions speak volumes, sister! May God continue to bless your ministry.