ANNOYANCES
image courtesy of photo bucket.com
I’ve learned to tune out almost everything when I’m in the scarce writing zone. It doesn’t matter if it’s laughing, yelling, or screaming kids if I’m dialed in they’re all white noise in an all white house. But… with time and experience I’ve learned, there are a few things that can render me as helpless to write as Superman is to save the world with a bucket of kryptonite parked on his chest.
I barely noticed the elderly couple that got seated two tables down from where I was seated for breakfast. My pen was recording my thoughts out its tip while waiting for my six egg white omelette.
Then I heard it. My head lifted along with my pen trying to solve the puzzle of what was having the same effect on me as nails on a chalkboard. Bingo. It was the freshly seated gentleman with the black dress slacks, white Oxford type of dress shirt that was tucked in neatly around his generous torso. His black glasses matched his black hair with natural grey distinguishing streaks.
The man’s wife was talking, but he wasn’t paying much attention. As she chatted comfortably he made the most annoying subtle sound with his mouth drowning her out, mostly. With his lower lip pushed out slightly he made a sound that wasn’t quite a whistle, more like a whispering ‘S’ type of sound, “Sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss,” and non-stop.
My eye began to twitch in annoyance as I watched him make noise while his wife talked. By the time they got their food my muse had long since jumped ship.
The quiet waiting room at my always tardy skin doctor’s office the next day seemed like the perfect setting to summons my fast and fickle muse. With thoughts and ink flowing again the nurse barking names had no effect on me.
That’s when the elderly couple sat just across and down one chair from me. She talked softly to the grim sun-scarred man as he snatched up a magazine to kill time. The man glimpsed the open pages for a few short seconds before reaching for the bottom corner of the page then snapping it like a towel, almost ripping it from the magazine. He’d repeat the angry page turning every four or five seconds in rhythm.
I try to ponder things, to figure out in circumstances like that why my buttons seem so easy to push. Folks who never consider anybody but themselves and lack basic manners is one reason.
The other is the habit that I too might be a little guilty of… My only saving grace is that I’m not nearly as blatant as Whistler’s Brother and the Page Punisher.
After decades with a spouse, we tend to take them for granted and don’t always show them the love and respect they deserve.
There are lessons and reminders from God all around us every day. Sometimes it’s just in everyday interruptions and annoyances…
You know. Like the ones we ignore in ourselves.
Sunday, January 10, 2016 @ 7:34 pm
Who me? Annoy others? Surely you jest. Have to admit though, while I’m not a whistler or a snappy page turner, I do find ways to distract me from intently listening. Then again, all I need is a book, a magazine or something on a TV & I’m gone. My mind can’t split two things.
Sunday, January 10, 2016 @ 8:40 pm
Floyd, when I am journaling, I am like you when you are writing your blog or fiction. I can zone out, which is one thing I love about it. If there is a distraction, I can just pick up where I left off (not so w/ silent prayers). However, you bring up another great point. Do we pay attention? How often do I sit here and keep typing when my daughter or husband is trying to talk to me. I need to come to a full stop, turn, and *listen*! You are talking about relationships, and you always make me think, for which I am most grateful.
have a wonderful new year, and I can’t wait to read more of your fabulous writing!
Love
Lynn
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 12:15 am
This is so true…I had to chuckle at the man making the “sssss” sound. Can you imagine? The poor soul has probably had to learn to do something to drown out the constant drone over the years…but then I have to feel a bit sorry for her, too…she must feel like she is never being heard over his hissing noise. LOL! It is very interesting to sit and watch people and try to figure out their stories. But, back to your real point, I know exactly what you mean about getting into the zone. I have to be careful not to get so lost in my inspiration that I am the one doing the annoying. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your heart here….it is always a blessing to me.
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 3:12 am
Morning, Floyd. As I was chuckling at the diner scenario, I could sense where you were headed. I found my body stiffening. I almost clicked out. But, I hung in there. Tears are streaming down my face. I’ve known Whistler’s Brother and Page Pusher for 44 years. I think that is why I so enjoy blogging. I never have to know who is not paying attention to my words. To my heart….
Thank you, dear friend, for God is using your post to bring another layer of healing…I’ve been asking Him for a while now if it was wrong of me to desire – to need – to be heard…
Tissues please!
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 6:19 am
Oy! I read 2 blog posts today and they both were on this subject, Floyd.
i think God is elbowing me. Great description, my friend.
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 9:51 am
Oh yeah, we’re all guilty. We want to get upset at everyone else’s annoying behavior and dismiss our own most of the time. I see it so prevalent in my kids and I find it laughable most of the time because sometimes the same annoying behavior one is chastising another for will come from the chastiser later. When I point that out, they just give me a sly smile. We are funny creatures. 🙂 Thanks Floyd.
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 10:40 am
I was chuckling at your description of Whistler’s Brother and Page Pusher, but also, I was feeling sorry for those couples. It’s sad when people become reduced to their most annoying and aggravating habits. And, lack of communication? That too.
I remember jokingly telling my sons that they had my permission to put me in a “home” when I got old and annoying. They replied, “Like today?” We all laughed, as it was meant good-naturedly, but later it got me thinking. I can be quite annoying, and yet, it’s hard to see it sometimes. However, I DO NOT want that.
Your wise words are a good caution to be mindful of how we act ourselves. And to always let the Holy Spirit infuse us with His gifts – joy, peace, gentleness, patience, etc. Because the alternative is that pesky sinful nature, and it can be soooo annoying!
GOD BLESS!
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 10:51 am
Isn’t it odd how obvious other peoples’ little tics are, but ours are hardly noticeable at all? 🙂 You’ve got better focusing powers than I do, Floyd. I can hardly read in a waiting room anymore if the TV is on and people are talking, not to mention the little quirks you were hearing. God bless the spouses that put up with our own quirks for years and years without hounding us everyday to stop it.
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 11:43 am
Just reading about Whistler made every hair on my neck stand up. I get so easily overstimulated in this day and age of utter narcissism! If someone gently took me aside to tell me a couple (now, just a couple mind you!) of the annoying things I do, I’d like to think I’d try to curb them…..but my boys would probably disagree. Ha!
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 4:32 pm
I can picture you writing in these cafes, Floyd. My coffee shop was hopping this morning with noise and activity, mostly people working but a few tables visiting. I love being involved with it all, but then came home and have had a hard time getting anything done since. Our youngest daughter just left to go back to college this morning, so our house is NOT hopping anymore with activity! It always takes a day or two to adjust after everyone leaves as I miss them so much. Hopefully, I’ll be back to my regular self tomorrow.
Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 10:32 pm
It is sad when couples are so self centered, they can only think of themselves, and not their mate. The couple in the diner, the woman needed to hear her own voice, and her husband wanted peace and quiet so he tried to drown out her voice in his way. The other couple the husband had an anger problem, and took it out on his wife by turning pages. Why do we fail to be courteous to one another and accept each other even with our annoying habits? ROBERT WILL YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE TV !! (Just kidding.)
Thank you for sharing your post with us here at Tell me a Story, – – that causes us to look inside to see what we are doing to annoy someone else.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016 @ 3:26 pm
It was good that you picked up on those annoyances in public and can describe it so well with words. It is easy to take our spouses for granted after so many years and your point is well taken. I like the cartoon graphic, too! Made me smile. Six egg white omelette. Wow. Now that would catch my attention, brother.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016 @ 7:50 am
This is awesome and so true. Nicely done! I hope we all learn something from your insight
Wednesday, January 13, 2016 @ 2:31 pm
Now this post hit a nerve brother. Ace and I have both grown in this area but since we are not perfect it still happens at time. I am talking away and realize he is not listening to me. I use to get just plan mad and let it happen more then once and then it would boil over and I would hit him with some strong words. Neither way was a good way to handle these issues. It’s usually easy to spot those who are stuck way back into themselves. I was in a store once and seen a lady crying in the fruit section. I went up to her and shes through her tears said she was going to be in trouble with her husband because it was taking her so long. She told me she had cancer and could not think clearly so it took her longer to shop, she did not really have the strength to shop. It broke my heart and I wanted break that husbands neck. As you can see, I still have full use of my anger. I prayed for and she thanked me. I offered to help her but she was through shopping , so I offered to help her out to her car but she said it would make him mad for someone to help her, he told her she needed to do it herself, she said he never helped her shop. Because I did not want more hurt to happen I restraint myself and did not help her. Besides I probably would have made it worst on her because I was angry with the husband. I try on purpose to associate to much with those are living for themselves except to witness to them. I actually am working with a young women who is like that. she said she was a believer but there is no evidence the HOly Spirit lives in her. But then I am not the judge of that, but discernment and wisdom tells me I am throwing the truth to the pigs. I pray God brings her to a place where she will repent or get saved. Bless you brother for writing on this…it hits home for all of us who read you. And we all need reminding over and over again how hurtful we can be at times. I was just with my mother for a few days and it’s been a trial to just be patience and not do as that man did. Her dementia is so much worst, its making her be mean with her words and she talks all the time, over and over saying the same things. I found I could just sit there and listen and tune her out instead of working to change her thought patterns instead of not responding. God always teaches me something with my mother. and it’s not pretty sometimes. Pray for my mother please, they have put her on some meds to calm her down, but it is not helping much. Two weeks ago she escape from the nursing home, and was almost to the highway in her wheelchair, someone seen her, took her to the hospital then back to the nursing home. It is so sad to see her like this, pray for her protection and also for the staff that takes care of her. Opps, did not see this much comin from me but you touch a raw place in my heart. Blessing Floyd.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016 @ 6:58 pm
As usual, Bro, you have many strong words and you have many strong friends who are making their comments. Greatly appreciate that. AND, as your kindness, I greatly appreciate YOU! Bless you, Dear Brother. 😉
Friday, January 15, 2016 @ 10:27 pm
A great lesson! I love that you were able to see the lesson in your own annoyances! That’s letting Jesus speak through all things! 🙂 Thank you for the smile tonight!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Saturday, January 16, 2016 @ 6:53 pm
Floyd,
Oh, I know what you mean about being in the zone. And I like how you were able to listen to God’s still small voice and consider yourself and how you treat your spouse…Precious 🙂 It’s so true what you observed and also sad…I think it takes even more grace to continue to treat your spouse with love and tender attention the more time goes on….and we’ve only been married 24 years 🙂
Thursday, January 21, 2016 @ 4:07 pm
Deep. This is giving me pause… I find I’m unable to write with activity around me. I can’t write in public places unless I have headphones and wordless music (classical usually – weird, I know). And so when I write at home I notice, sometimes, that I’m so protective of that sort of perfectly still headspace I need that I don’t lock back into the present when I should. Like when my wife wants to talk to me sometimes. I may not be whistling and snapping pages, and my eyes may even be looking at her and nodding as she speaks, but inwardly I’m not fully present always. Not totally there… I dunno. I guess I’m kind of convicted reading this post. The habit is not something that happens often but I can feel, now, that it is wrong when it does. Like a brother to the whistler’s brother. Anyway, I guess this is a bit of a weird (and longish) comment so I’ll stop there. But thanks for writing this, Floyd. Going to be trying to live more in the present with loved ones from now on.