A VERY SHORT TIME
I’ve misplaced and lost things along the way. Some I’ve found, others just a memory now. I used to think the most important things I lost were things I could put a dollar value on. Life has a way of teaching us that the things that have the most value can’t be bought or replaced.
When dusk settled on that fall evening and I heard my mom calling me, I knew the best part of my day was over. I grabbed my homemade flag; an old garage towel duct taped to a seven-foot crooked tree branch by my eight-year-old hands and headed home.
I shot a wary glance around our neighborhood to make sure no one was watching when I nestled my flag into the snail laden and unmaintained flower bed in front of our house.
The next day I found the kid that stole it. I beat him up and took my flag back. I discovered that a flag isn’t near as fun when you’re all alone.
I wasn’t as lucky with my Christmas bike. Once it was gone it was gone forever. Same with some guns and trucks later on in life.
Some things you lose and don’t even realize it… at first. That happened with my wallet once. Same with my innocence. I didn’t even know it was gone or missing until it was too late. It’s the inevitable taste of regret that you can’t spit out. You have to swallow it whole. Not knowing it’ll take a lifetime to digest.
A few months back I came up missing something else, not realizing the underlying cause. It was like when you go looking for your favorite book. You search high and low to no avail.
Over the last few months, I periodically posted portions of an old unfinished manuscript. It was sorta like the MC tap dancing to fill time till the main act shows up. Problem is, I lost my muse.
image courtesy of photo bucket.com
Sometimes it’s not the desire or passion that keeps us going. Now and then we have to rely on perseverance… because there is nothing else.
In the down times were forced to reflect. It is in the rough patches we tend to ponder, to reflect, to count the cost, consider the reasons for our droughts.
Seven years ago this month was another time of loss. The worst kind of loss – that of a loved one. It was May 7th, 2010. My dad was taken not only to a “better place”, but the Best place. That doesn’t mean there is no sadness.
There is grieving in this life. It’s God’s way of reminding us that no one gets out alive. It’s our sad understanding that there is no perfection in this flesh. That comes after this is past.
In times like these we remind ourselves, as Believers, that the things of the greatest value can’t be lost, only Divinely separated for a very short time.
Sunday, May 14, 2017 @ 5:32 pm
“as Believers, that the things of the greatest value can’t be lost, only Divinely separated for a very short time.” The longer I walk this heavy earth I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, people should be at the top of our bucket list. This past year has been a hard one for me due to health issues and I have had to let my heart for people take second place a lot. Each month last year I felt my energy level drop, others seen it in me and knew I was not my normal self which made them worry. It’s wonderful to have folks love enough to worry. Since Jan 9th, my bypass surgery my energy is coming back, this past week I was back in the YMCA pool doing exercise, swimming a few laps. And I am renewing my old habits of staying in contact with those I love near and far more often. I feel a fresh determination to connect with some old friends. My best friend from my teen years lives near you, Peoria, Az. She is top of my list to contact. I too have lost some valuable item through the years, all of which I have lived without and the regrets has subsided. Perseverance is a Godly trait, thank God you have it brother or you would not be writing this blog, own your own business, give life another try and continue to write those stories that will be publish someday. You are a blessing to those of us who read your blog, your open honest way of communicating bring good things out of us. It’s a good trait to be real. As for the grieving, what a gift to love enough to grieve.
Sunday, May 14, 2017 @ 8:15 pm
Oh, I feel your loss, my friend. Next month, it will be 17 years (hard to believe) that God called my Daddy home to Heaven, and I just passed the 5 year marker for my sweet Mom’s homegoing. I don’t suppose the pain ever totally lets up, does it? I appreciate your blog and all you do here,. God bless you, brother. Keep encouraged!
Sunday, May 14, 2017 @ 10:29 pm
I’ve lost many things in my life. Some replaceable, some not. Once when I was in grade school I took my dad’s tennis racquet to school. Only to leave it behind in the gym locker. It was gone. Yeah I regretted it. But then I lost him…and I really regretted it! Life is precious, because it’s the only thing that we consistently lose.
Monday, May 15, 2017 @ 4:01 am
Relationships with others really are our greatest treasures in this life. Just yesterday, I lost my Uncle Junie, the last of my dad’s family of 11 children. Uncle Junie was my favorite uncle, the one who let me and my cat ride in his car when we went on vacation (and then the cat puked all over it), the one who drove a distance to visit me when my cat suddenly passed away, the one who lived the the example of a truly self-less man. I will miss him immensely but find comfort in knowing, he is another treasure in Heaven.
Monday, May 15, 2017 @ 5:49 am
I like this piece a lot, Floyd. Well modulated and nicely climaxed, insofar as the writing is concerned. Beyond that, I am drawn to you as a man and a friend due to the subject of the piece. As others have replied above, what grace it is that you have the heart to grieve the loss of your father. And, as a writer colleague, what grace to grieve the loss of your muse. My belief is that the muse, being ephemeral, does waft away. But there’s good news, too. Being ephemeral, the muse wafts back.
Monday, May 15, 2017 @ 12:06 pm
I’m thankful too that we didn’t lose our dads; we are just separated for a bit. I know you’ll continue to persevere until the muse sits on your shoulder again. Keep writing, Floyd!
Monday, May 15, 2017 @ 8:18 pm
Floyd,
I like that line about only being divinely separated for a bit; what a reunion it will be. And yet, as you point out, we still feel sad because we miss our loved ones. Praying God holds you close and comforts you. And God guides you to find your writing muse. Keep writing or not as God’s Spirit leads you. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself, my friend. God is kind, as you know…Appreciate you and your writing, my friend.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017 @ 8:01 am
I never say goodbye; I always say, “See you later.” I am a firm believer in eternal life for the follower of Christ. I mourn their passing but know I will see him/her again. My mother died in 2004 after a short battle with cancer. I KNOW I will see her again. Temporary indeed.
Thursday, May 18, 2017 @ 3:35 pm
Floyd, your words stir so much in my heart. It is one thing to lose earthly goods, but when it comes to losing relationships it hurts! Grieving hurts. Yet, it is bittersweet. Believers know it’s just a separation for a time and the ending will be better than anything we can imagine! My sister’s body is shutting down as I write this and death will break the soul tie I have with her. But it is well with my soul. I try to think how blessed I am to have had a big sister to love and share faith and life with and even envy because she got the small feet and red hair. Thank you for your loving comment on my blog and the way you encourage me. Sending you a hug, a big hug, with a wish that everything you have lost in the muse will come back with a writing flurry and the story will be twice as good as the original.
Friday, May 19, 2017 @ 1:30 pm
I’m so thankful that we will see our dads again, Floyd! It doesn’t lessen the pain of the loss, much, but it does spike it with hope for the future, amen?