A SLEEPLESS NIGHT
image courtesy of photobucket.com
The dense midnight fog blacked out the distant city lights. Only the nearby surrounding lights could be seen and their casted light was dim, struggling to push their image through the heavy mist that accompanied the fog.
With doors and windows open, the fog carried its wetness inside and enveloped me in its body. A shiver shrieked up my spine that was shirtless in the midnight hour. A sleepless night… I don’t get too many of those.
I remembered the nights like that as a kid, and even though I never believed in the Boogey man, I knew there was danger.
As I stood gazing into the night that looked like it was straight out of a Sherlock Holmes mystery novel, I remembered my first nightmare. I thought to myself, “funny, of all the things I’ve forgotten, I still remember this”?
Sometimes a night seems to have a life all of its own, a night that lasts longer than the normal six to eight hours. Those nights are given life by our fears. I can’t recall many nights in my life being awakened in the middle of the night due to joy or happiness. Those are the ingredients of a good night’s sleep. The ingredients for a sleepless night are usually quite the opposite.
Similar to that kid being startled from my slumber by a nightmare, now I get shaken from sleep by the hand of reality.
Standing in the damp night air I refused the warmth of a shirt, searching for something in the creeping fog, glancing from light to light hoping to remember or find what it was that beckoned me in the night.
As I looked down to see the moisture inside, I caught it as I was looking back up. It was me…
Most of the valleys that I walked through in my life were the ones I created for myself or due to the course I chose. How many times have we been delivered from the problems we created for ourselves?
How often have we turned everyday difficulties or setbacks into real life nightmares?
Is the dense fog we strain to see through really there? Or is it conjured up in our minds, making it impossible to see the reality and beauty on the other side of that mist?
Yes, there are Boogey men in the world, but the paths we choose are up to us. If the reader is anything like me, I’ve been far more dangerous with my free will than the Boogey man could ever be.
It seems the danger of this world and the things or people in it are temporary. The actions done by us in our heart and body have eternal implications. Jesus Christ had this to say, “Do not fear those who kill the body, but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy soul and body in hell.-”
Our fight is on the inside, the results of the decisions are manifested on the outside. Often those decisions come back to haunt us at night. Sometimes, even on a gloomy night filled with fog.
Maybe that is a gift from God? If we can see in great detail with distance, we can forget to look a little closer to home, but the fog ensures it. In this case, home is where the heart is, and in most cases that is the heart of the problem.
The problems we have whether created from without or within can only be repaired from the inside out.
A heart filled with thick fog can be chased away by the Light of the world.
That powerful light of God that illuminates the world is our gift.
And it starts from inside us…
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 9:21 am
I am totally my own worst enemy and my own worst nightmare. I can scare myself more than anyone else can for the most part and I totally make situations and events bigger and scarier than they need to be sometimes.
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 9:40 am
I hear you April, we’re all guilty of that one time or another. We let our minds and intentions run away which often causes the sleeplessness… Your not alone!
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 10:49 am
Hey Floyd! I think God and the devil take a lot of blame for things that are of our own making. People DO perish for a lack of knowledge. When someone wants to know “Why, why,why”, it might be a good idea to take a look back at where it is we could have failed God or disconnected ourselves from HIS direction. I know we live in a broken world , so introspecting is often of little use. But, we DO have the precious Holy Spirit. We fail to tap into HIS mighty guidance, the fault is not His but ours. Your post presents us with a hard pill to swallow, but it is necessary!
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 11:13 am
Thanks Nancy, the truth does hurt sometimes, but it always makes us better and wiser. I know lots of people who run from the truth. I guess they forgot that Christ said, “The truth will set you free.”
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 12:02 pm
Oh, wow. I really relate to this, Floyd. I was awake just last night from fears of “what if”. Crazy stuff, thoughts I don’t have in the day. And now that you mention it, the happy thoughts don’t wake me up, just the scary ones.
“Our fight is on the inside.” Yep, you’ve nailed it. Almost everything I worry about in the night are straight from my own imagination. I definitely need the Light of the world to save me from myself.
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 5:43 pm
Your not alone Lisa, thanks for letting me know it’s not just me…
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 7:54 pm
“We have met the enemy … and he is us”. That saying has stuck with me from the time I read it in college. The what ifs, nightmares, self-doubt, even self-sabotage … we all have them and they impact us in various ways. Why do most of us focus on the negative vs. the positive? Why donthe scariest things come from with-in? I guess we know ourself better than anyone and what frightens us! But do we really recognize ourselves from with-in? Can a caterpillar recognize itself as a butterfly? Maybe just maybe it’s the unknown that scares us? Life is full of questions with no real answers. I guess it’s just one more reason to remember … “the danger of this world and the things or people in it are temporary”. Great post Floyd, one that truly has value. Bt
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 10:05 pm
Thanks BT, great points and perspective. I remember many sayings from my past, but never as many as you. Those are great quotes and questions,I think I’ll remember a little better now.
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 8:16 pm
You’ve spoken to several issues in your in-depth analysis, Floyd. I really like the figurative language…the symbolism. “For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face” (I Cor. 13:12). Someday, the fog will lift. When the Lord returns, we will see Him in full revelation. Then, all of our problems will be over! No more night, much less sleepless nights. Oh, for that “day.”
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 10:14 pm
Thanks Effie, it is difficult to walk the earth with all the blind spots due to our fallen nature. The struggle will be worth the payoff for sure. Thanks for the reminder of that fact.
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 9:43 pm
This was beautifully written, Floyd, and so very true. I, too, have created many of the valleys I go through.
I especially loved this line: “The problems we have whether created from without or within can only be repaired from the inside out.”
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 10:17 pm
Thanks Chuck, I find rest in knowing my fellow brothers and sisters are walking those valleys with me. I appreciate the lift, I hope to return it. God is amazing! Thanks for your heart.
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 11:43 pm
Years ago I can remember waking with a start and thought there was a man standing there in a white robe. It was our white bedroom door which was nothing to be frightened of. Many of our fears are just mist as you so brightly put it. When His light is there the darkness must go. I liked the way you stated that the light of God is within us. Sleep well tonight!!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 6:52 am
Thanks Hazel, we do let ourselves get carried away… I find it interesting how when we are at peace with God, regardless of what trials we’re enduring our sleep is sweet.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 7:36 pm
I can identify with the sleepless nights. There are times when it is a fear of my own making. Then there are times when I think God wakes me to spend time with him or pray for friends.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011 @ 8:38 am
Good for you to be awaken by the hand of God. That’s something worth waking up for!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 8:53 pm
I, too, am my own worst enemy. “…home is where the heart is…that is part of the problem.” Beautifully written.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011 @ 8:48 am
Thanks Pat, I guess we all have more in common than we’d like to admit.
Friday, November 4, 2011 @ 12:33 am
WOW—That was deep and so true, it really gave me goose bumps how you told so clear of our human nature.
Thanks, that was great.
Love Ya
Sheral
Friday, November 4, 2011 @ 8:15 am
Thanks Sheral, it’s not difficult to see our fallen human nature if we’re looking is it? Love you too Sister…