A NO WIN SITUATION
At the age I am now, right or wrong, I generally figure I’ve pretty much seen it all. Things rarely happen in my life that take me by surprise. When the unexpected happens, I react without too much emotion. I’ve usually been there, done that, bought the hat…
Occasionally, though, I get thrown the analogical curveball or change up. Even then, with years of practical experience dealing with surprises, I’m rarely left struggling with what the right course of action to take might be.
That was not the rare case this particular Sunday. It was a no-win situation. While out of town we found a friendly little church a few years back while on vacation. We try to make it a point to attend if we have time between travels even now.
We were sitting about four rows back on the south side of the church closest to the front door, which is typically my style. There were only a couple of rows behind us. Several minutes after the service started a very elderly man shuffled into the church, having a more legitimate use for a cane than anybody I’ve witnessed.
As the late comer eyed the seat directly in front of me, he hobbled, lost a bit of balance and bumped into me, helping to keep him upright. The elderly gentleman settled into the seat directly in front of me.
I knew that my new neighbor wasn’t going to be doing any standing for praying or singing… The old guy knew everyone. When the worship leader invited everyone to greet one another, I think every single person in the church came by to greet him.
Though frail, I can’t remember a person singing with as much enthusiasm as the old timer. I’m not sure if the old guy knew he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket or not. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have mattered to him one way or the other. Just one of the gifts of being very elderly, I’ve heard.
The old fella had long, past his shoulders scraggly hair extending from the sides of his head with a worn, sun-spotted, round, bald spot on top. When I shook his hand during the greeting portion of the service I found he lacked no grip strength.
During the middle of the service, while glancing either down or up, to or from my Bible, something caught my eye on the old guy’s faded black windbreaker. I first thought it was a fly. It quickly crawled from under his collar, just above his left shoulder, and as I saw it- then did a double take, it moved quickly around the top of the old guy’s back and over his right shoulder, where it disappeared from my view.
After it was out of sight I realized what it was… It was black, about a size and a half bigger than a horse fly with short, quick, legs. It was hard to spot immediately due to its color and my mind not expecting it… It was a black spider…
There I was, at a loss for what to do or how to react. It was a foreign feeling to me now. I knew the spider wasn’t a black widow, but I wasn’t completely positive it wasn’t poisonous.
In a church where no one knows me, I’m not sure how they would have reacted if I’d got up and announced something like, “OK”!!! – “TIME OUT”!!! – “I’ve spotted a black spider on the old guy in front of me”!!! – “I think you’ll find the culprit hiding under his collar”!!!
Their first thought would possibly have been that I was some kind of demon possessed weirdo. What if they searched and the spider had got away? They certainly would have asked me to leave with my family!
I thought about using my bulletin as a spider swatter, but what if I slapped a little too hard and broke a bone on the old guy? No – That wouldn’t do. Even if I slapped at him to shoo the spider away it may have startled the old guy and caused him to have a heart attack!
This was a no-win proposition. What did I do? … I didn’t do anything except keep an eye out for the church going spider…
Then I prayed for the old man’s protection…
It’s all I could think of. Maybe that’s the problem with many of us…
We wait until there’s nothing else to do, but pray…
Cindy Holman
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 9:53 am
This is great! Did you ever find the spider? Some people are completely WEIRD about spiders – my daughter was like that – my sister about snakes – and I don’t like wasps because I was stung SO MUCH as a child. I had a black bug living in my hair for several hours a couple of years ago. I had gone to teach theater class and heard and felt a funny “buzzing” sound that I could never identify – so I just thought it was my imagination and forgot about it. Several hours later I was home sitting at my desk talking to my daughter and out crawled this HORRIBLE black BUG! She screamed and I was Stunned and completely freaked out – I mean – how long HAD he been there? It was awful. It creeps me out a little when I find a crawly bug or spider in my bed too – because the first thing I think of is – “how long have they been there while I was sleeping?
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:46 am
Thanks Cindy! Interesting the most green and beautiful places on earth have the most insects. I had a few small spiders in my hair this summer from ducking through trees and brush. I never did find the spider in church. It was the most bizarre thing to have that happen in church!
Helen
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:37 am
Did you ever notice that ladies are always tucking labels in for one another after whispering in other ladies ears that her label is sticking out? I’d have probably asked if he minds if I “fix” his label, and would have proceeded to fix it by removing the bug. (I’m not afraid of spiders, but I am afraid of mice. It a mice crawled down his neck I’d have ran out of the Church screaming…)
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:52 am
I think I might have ran out too! It happened so fast, my mind just couldn’t catch up with reality! To straighten his collar would have been a little weird, he didn’t care much about what he looked like. My first reaction that I kept myself from, was slapping at his chest area. That wouldn’t have been good… Just goes to show me, when you think you’ve seen everything, I haven’t… Thanks Helen, I’ll keep that advice in mind in case there’s a next time.
Jason Stasyszen
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:45 am
Definitely the definition of a ‘no win situation.’ That’s crazy! I wondered if you were going to say it was his pet because of the tarantula picture. 🙂 Great story, Floyd.
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:59 am
Thanks Jason, I mean right?! Nothing would be truly acceptable in that setting! You know, I never thought of a pet… I guess crazier things have happened? Leave it to your mind to go there!
SethC
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:52 am
Floyd, I was reading along enjoying your humorous tale, when BOOM. You slapped me with a life lesson at the end. So good, such a great tale. Such a great point.
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:56 am
Thanks Seth, I think God used something out of the ordinary to wake me from my smug state of thinking I’d seen it all. With God, I’m not even close, but thankful for the things He has shown me. Mostly His grace and mercy.
Bt
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 5:47 pm
One can never assume that they’ve seen it all, not sure any of us live long enough. I can certainly understand the “what if” situation you found yourself in. Did you ever wonder if God placed all the participates (the old man, the spider and you) in the church to see how you would react? Maybe it was a test … maybe “A no win situation”. Bt
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 6:12 pm
I certainly felt like God caused or allowed the whole thing. If it was a test, pretty sure I failed… I was just shocked, even though we come across new situations and scenarios, most of us who have been around a bit, usually aren’t caught off guard. I was this time.
Hazel
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 5:50 pm
And then you prayed for the old guy’s protection! Awesome. That was all you could do! Prayer is often something we do when all else fails. Good point there. By the way, when readers tweet your post or share it with others, you just never know who will read it. Discovering that a guy who has seen it all, and can write about prayer will often turn the reader to trust in Jesus. If for any of you there is nothing new under the Sun, Try the Son – – He makes every thing new.
Floyd
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 6:16 pm
Wow Hazel! Your wisdom and passion move my spirit! God speaks boldly through you my sister! I need to learn how to start tweeting, you make a good point. Very, very, well said! “If for any of you there is nothing new under the sun, try the Son”!
Jo_of_TSN
Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:27 pm
LOL wow, what a story, and what an application, too! Sometimes it’s easier to pray than to intervene.
This has nothing to do with your “takeaway,” but one time a gnat decided to drop out of the sky and die in my friend’s communion cup. What did she do? Fished it out with her pinky, prayed extra hard, and drank.
Floyd
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 7:04 am
What a great story! Yeah, I probably did the easiest thing, but I finally did come around to praying at least! Thanks for sharing Jo, always enjoy your upbeat comments.
April
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 7:08 am
OMGoodness! I would have FREAKED OUT! I HATE spiders; like scared to death, pull the car over, hate spiders!! I would have had to move…get up, go to the bathroom, compose myself, sit on a pew further back when I got back in. UGH, even now I’m cringing…Thanks, now I’ll be looking for spiders all day.
Floyd
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 9:39 am
Sorry April! I looked up the spider on the internet afterward and it wasn’t poisonous. Still, I hear you. Sometimes we just get caught off guard!
Jason Gangwish
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 11:40 am
Great post Floyd, Love the perspective! You’re right, we often pray last! I’m definitely guilty more often than not.
Floyd
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 5:29 pm
Thanks Jason. Yeah, we’re all guilty of it once in a while…
Jennifer
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 1:24 pm
Wow, Floyd! Great story, although kind of crazy! I didn’t know where you were going with it–I, too, thought that perhaps the man had a pet spider–and then you gave us a great life lesson. 🙂
Floyd
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 5:31 pm
Thanks Jennifer. Great to hear from you again! Hope the summer is going well and the family is good.
Nancy Kehr
Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 10:49 pm
Funny and creepy all at the same time. You reminded me of a few situations in which I found myself at a loss! I have always heard people say ” well there’s nothing left to do but pray”… The Holy spirit would rise up in me and say ” That’s the FIRST thing people should do”. What a lesson! Glad you keep an eye out . Some people coudn’t have been bothered and would have moved elsewhere. You go Floyd!
Floyd
Friday, August 19, 2011 @ 7:05 am
Thanks Nancy. I agree, praying should always be the first thing we should do, especially if our instinct is lacking.
Lenna Wyatt
Friday, August 19, 2011 @ 6:02 pm
Your writings remind me so much of a wonderful old gentleman from many years ago. I think his name was Walter Wilson. He could take almost anything and apply it to someone’s situation to witness to them. For instance, he was waiting for a bus on a bench one day along with a young woman who was looking at herself in a compact. He managed to win her to the Lord right there with the Scripture “…. for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face…” He was full of these wonderful ways to bring everyday things into a way to share the gospel with people. You do, too.
Floyd
Friday, August 19, 2011 @ 6:22 pm
Thanks Lenna. That’s quite a compliment. Although mine are usually about me coming up short and learning a lesson! You’d think I’d be a little sharper by now!
jake
Tuesday, August 23, 2011 @ 7:33 pm
Holy crap. Gross. I hate spiders. I’d want you to stop church and get that thing the hell outta my jacket. Good job praying though. I think you’re right, sometimes we don’t have our crap together and we wait until we can’t do anything but ask God to pick up our messes… which He doesn’t seem to mind doing, just not all of the time 🙂
Floyd
Tuesday, August 23, 2011 @ 8:54 pm
I was completely caught off guard, which was as big a shock for me as the spider itself! That’s what I get for thinking I’d seen it all!
Pat Bowling
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 7:33 pm
I once taught an entire Sunday School class wearing only one earring and no one said a word – it’s not like I’m a one earring kinda girl!
A friend of mine went all through Sunday School and church with 2 different shoes on – one black and one navy – no one said a word.
It makes me wonder how many times I’ve had lipstick on my teeth, or worse, something hanging from my nose…! (You know you thought about it!)
Heading back to the spiritual perspective…the question I always ask folks is: How much to you love your friend? Do you love them enough to tell them the truth (even if it means being asked to leave)? Accountability is one of the things we’re missing; speaking the truth in love.
Floyd
Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 10:02 pm
Friends I probably wouldn’t have a problem with, being a visitor in a strange church left me in a position I rarely find myself in; at a loss of what to do. I’m still not sure what the right thing was, I also didn’t want to embarrass the old guy either. I hear you, and respect your take. It could very well have been a mistake.