A JERK
As I get older I learn more about myself. For example, I’m discovering one of the reasons I enjoy writing is that I can temper my words, even when I’m excited.
It’s different for me when I’m in a conversation. Words can come out of my mouth long before I understand the impact of them. Some might consider a person with actions like that a jerk. Yes, sometimes I’m a jerk.
It’s taken me longer than it should have to realize that, but how many jerks really know they’re jerks? I’m not a jerk all the time. I’m a pretty good guy when I’m asleep!
A couple days ago while at the gym I was having an ongoing discussion/debate over some Christian doctrinal issues. You know the ones, there are about five really divisive issues for us Christians.
This probably isn’t the biggest divider and I’ll remain vague to avoid an on-line argument.
My friend Tim and I were lobbing Christian shots at each other that were dripping with sarcasm. (which us jerks really enjoy) – (Oh, and for the record Tim is a jerk too!) There was a friend of Tim’s that he goes to church with close by. Tim drew him into the crossfire.
Tim’s friend was caught off guard. Tim posed the question of our debate to him without preparing him mentally for our “rough around the edges” style.
His friend, a mild-mannered guy, starts to quote some scripture to enlighten us on the subject we’ve been debating for years. In fairness to Tim’s friend, neither Tim nor myself look like the studious type. He continued to speak as if talking with a couple of ignoramuses.
The verses he quoted to us didn’t have much bearing on the subject in question. Being mere mortal, my tongue could take only so much pain from the teeth piercing it. I let go…Not in anger, but not in God either. Human emotion overtaking my self-control.
I’m very proud of the studying I’ve done on this particular subject. I’ve read books, done Bible studies, spent countless hours with my Hebrew and Greek concordance. My reaction was more that proud, it was pride. You know, the thing that cometh before a fall?
I made my points and my competitors countered with arguments that were also in human emotion. You know the ones, “Well my preacher says…”! The conversation’s well out of hand at this point and a wise man of God would honor Him and walk away. Not me, no sir. At this point I’m rolling, I’ve got the enemy on the run. I have my foes against the ropes.
There is no sign of wisdom, only folly. I continued to disrespect God’s word by using it against, instead of for His beloved.
They soon both retreated and headed for the door. In truth, I love to talk about God’s word. What else matters more than that?
That night as I prayed God laid on my heart the reality of my actions. “God please forgive me for being such a jerk.” I didn’t bring God honor, I was trying to honor myself. I got railroaded by my flesh.
If to be a “Christian” is “Christ-like” or followers of Christ, what was I? Who was I following?
Saying sorry will help ease my conscience, but probably won’t get me another in-depth conversation with this solid man and fellow believer.
I gotta be honest with you though… In my heart, I still really don’t want to wash this guy’s feet…
Friday, December 10, 2010 @ 5:47 am
Floyd:
I find it refreshing to hear anybody these days (especially men) discussing
religion. I’m sure all the people involved respect each other for their attempts
to express their own beliefs – or that they have any at all–
Friday, December 10, 2010 @ 6:49 am
Thanks for the support as always, it is appreciated!
Friday, December 10, 2010 @ 6:24 pm
Even “jerks” are on a journey that comprises many steps, taking each of us down a path of winding constant evolution. God has a path for you … one moment you are presented with a chance to react differently when someone in your life rubs you the wrong way; at another you may find yourself wanting to walk away from a paqrticular situation but unsure if you can. I believe God helps each of us evolve in our own way. Your writings are helping you evolve to your fullest. I see a differnt Floyd in each of your writings. Pretty impressive for a “jerk” …. LOL. Bt
Saturday, December 11, 2010 @ 8:51 am
That was good! Almost as if you knew the subject matter personally!!! LOL! NO, I”M LITERALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD!
Friday, December 10, 2010 @ 6:47 pm
We all can be jerks sometimes, it’s called being human. I’m right there with you because I’ve don’t it a million times.
Saturday, December 11, 2010 @ 8:52 am
Well, at least I know I’m in good company!
Saturday, December 11, 2010 @ 10:40 am
I’m glad to hear somebody admit that they’ve been jerk. I’m not saying that you are. I’m just saying that it takes a mature person to admit it. Heck, even Robert admits whether he’s been a jerk or not. I still enjoy your writings.
Saturday, December 11, 2010 @ 4:45 pm
Thank you Brenda, perhaps you may have seen be a jerk. There is no question that Tim is jerk for sure!!! And most of the time!
Thursday, December 23, 2010 @ 11:34 am
I agree with Bt, sanctification is a process. Looking in the mirror is not always pleasant; seeing something less than God’s image – painful. The good news is, it’s part of the process of growing in God’s marvelous grace. Whether we find ourselves in a quiet moment or in a refining fire the object of the game is always to find ourselves taking on the aroma of Christ. I find your blogs refreshing because you hold nothing back; you share the good, the bad and the ugly – in all of us.
Friday, December 24, 2010 @ 8:09 am
The bad and the ugly part are easy, the good part, not so much. “The aroma of Christ,” an amazing word picture. Thanks Pat.
Friday, December 24, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
2 Cor. 2:15 (NIV)
Saturday, December 25, 2010 @ 7:48 am
I’ve read Corinthians literally at least 20 times in my life, I don’t know if I just forgot or never even caught it. Very strange. It certainly is revealed to me now through your words quoting it. Thanks for the lesson. Merry Christmas!
Sunday, February 13, 2011 @ 6:57 pm
I just sat down at my computer, feeling rather blah and low and forgetting about all of the wonders God has placed in my life. Just this morning- I woke up! That is a blessing right there! I felt like I was being a jerk to God and so into my search engine I typed ” God, forgive me for being a jerk” and this is what popped up. I love how God uses the moments in my life to teach me and connect me with other Christian “jerks” out there. Thank you for your honesty. I find that it helps me to have a plan so that the next time I’m in a scenario where I could potentially be a jerk- I’m preprayered…no, that wasn’t a typo 😀 …something along the lines of ” I don’t know about Tim but I think I’m being a jerk Let’s change the subject/go get lunch/wash someone’s dog/paint a house. If you thought that was a jerky reply then I apologize to you and to God.
Sunday, February 13, 2011 @ 8:42 pm
Welcome, that wasn’t a “jerky reply” it was perfectly honest. I am blown away at the wonder of how God connects His chosen in order to reveal Himself and His will. It’s not a coincidence you’re here and thanks for sharing your heart as I have. God is glorified in our confessions. By the way your in good company here, my friends and family lift me up and you as one of “us” will be lifted up. You too will be called on to do some lifting of your own. You read my post so you already know the lifting is gonna be heavy friend! WELCOME!