Okay, who’s a hopeless romantic? C-mon,’ let’s see a show of hands! Don’t be shy, speak up! Let’s see em.’ I see many of you smiling or nodding… I’ll take that as a show of hands. Aren’t we all hardwired to have a deep, longing desire for a happy ending?
While there are psychological issues as to why some people are prone to self-destruction, in general, we all long for happiness. The big question then becomes how do we find happiness or what defines happiness for each of us?
I believe one of the essential ingredients that make up happiness, at least the way the majority of us define it or strive for it, is our need to be needed. Which can also be called finding significance.
Our society has figured out how to capitalize on our emotional needs. We watch movies, read books, listen to songs that in majority relate to our emotions, to us; the hopeless romantics.
I think the keyword and subject for finding our ultimate happiness through significance is the ever magical and alluring “love.” If we have the undying, unyielding, uncompromising, true love of a partner, according to all of our society, we’re golden.
The not so romantic truth of love is that it’s more than a feeling. When the feeling of magic wanes between people “in love,” what’s left? Maybe commitment, work, perseverance?
Where is the line between infatuation and significance? Where is the line between happy and unhappy? Is it when we lose the feeling of significance fueled by our need to be needed? Would it be fair to say selfishness in our insecurity is a major factor?
From what I’ve seen and know of myself I’d say that is the exact problem. Often when we don’t get what we think we deserve from someone close, especially our spouse, we tend to carry a slight grudge, because society has taught us that it is all about us.
Does that sound like love? The act of love is selflessness, putting others needs and often wants before our own. The Good Book says, “It’s better to give than receive.” I think that means in all aspects of our lives.
Seems to me, especially in this country, God has arranged for us to receive quite a bit more than others around the world. We take our precious gifts, not giving much thought to the cost. Like the gifts of the people who show love, sacrificing their own lives for ours.
We didn’t pay the price for our significance. It was grace. Unmerited favor. A pretty good human example that directs our hearts and minds to the one who sacrificed for us eternally.
Christ’s actions, of which we identify ourselves, were the exact opposite of what we look and act like today. The God of creation loved His us enough to show that it wasn’t all about Him. It was about His love and sacrifice for us; the fallen.
The romantic notion that someone cares so much to give a life for us isn’t a Hollywood movie… It is our reality… the next time things aren’t going my way, I’m going to try to think of the happy ending of my story, written and directed by God.
In our weak flesh, it seems our want to be wanted, is only surpassed by our need to be needed.
When we refocus our minds to a heavenly perspective, things get real clear, real quick…