A DESERT RAT

a desert ratThe icy winds seem to whip through the clear desert air much colder than the thermometer claims. It’s rare, but when the desert winds blow, no amount or style of clothing can keep the fierce gusts  from reaching through the clothes and skin – ripping into the soul of a desert rat.

I remember trudging through the desert, leaning forward into the almost constant gale forces, walking “as the crow flies, ” to shorten my alone time with the punishing wind. My long shadow of winter worked as my entertainment as I pushed slowly forward. I loathed the exaggerated physical attributes from the long shadows, but was too captivated, bored, and self-centered to glance away.

I hated being skinny… but the mighty and low flying sun, along with the freezing cold teased me without a glimmer of mercy. The in-fashion-at-the-time bell bottom pants blew behind me, whipping in the wind like rugged flags pulling tight against my shins that exposed the skinny flagpole like calves that popped up and down like pistons in the days of the long shadows.

Even a turned up collar being held with one hand to keep as tight as possible to block the wind that poured in like being submerged in water, wasn’t enough girth to hide the thin neck that resembled a human giraffe to a self-conscious junior high school kid. Humans always seem to want what they don’t have…

My only saving grace was my shirt tails whipping in the long shadows. It hadn’t been too many years previous to that time that I had to tuck my shirts in. It was one of the rules… and kids love to break rules… Years after I spent a significant amount of time trying not to be skinny, tucking in shirts and wearing ties, trying to look cool, wearing my hair the way I thought would create the best image, trying to change that image seared into my mind by the cold and calculated desert winds along with the seasons of the long shadows from days of my youth.

The physical laws of this cosmos are given by God. The winds blow seeds – The rain waters the soil and the sun brings forth life. The elements have their way. They have the power from God to give life and with time they wear down and take life and the time in between is filled with stages of our lives. The wind and long shadows God uses to reveal the human condition. We are self-centered and fallen.

I’ve outgrown some of those childlike ways. I know in my heart that people don’t care nearly as much about what I look like as much as what they look like, but I’m not completely immune even still… The cold February wind blew – reminiscent of the extra cold desert winters from decades fading that I trudged through as a kid.

Those lonely and cold desert winds exposed the pride and insecurity of another human walking the earth. This season of the long shadows mixed with the cold wind revealed the same boy… Still too much pride and insecurity, but not as much as days gone by. I spend time now longing to look more like I did then… Humans always seem to want what they don’t have…

The fads are behind me now. The wind once again blows the untucked shirt tail… The season of the long shadows and vicious winds are a little more flattering than they used to be…

Although they still reveal the pride and insecurity of a fallen man…