A BAD HABIT
A Bad Habit
It was a ghastly habit, that’s what I was told, but it got their attention. Maybe that’s why I hung onto it like a little boy does a slingshot, but that’s far too innocent a comparison to try and peddle. I was a bad man, and not for just this habit, but the attitude in which I lived my life.
Truth is, I was caught between two worlds. The lure of bad can feel good. Stretch the truth, bend a rule, break an oath, and one day I woke up and the fine line I’d crossed may as well have been in China. The exact time and place I crossed over couldn’t be found or recalled.
It’s not so much the act as it is the attitude or perspective. I’ll admit a big part of the reason kids start bad habits is them trying to exercise their independence, show the world they’ve arrived so to speak. To young people it’s all about image, and to mature folks that lack wisdom or who are haunted by a habit that they started by barely inching over the line, with a smirk of mischief on their face.
As a youngster, I was disgusted by the habit. I remember my grandpa, my mom’s dad, when visiting would borrow an empty can out of the garbage and line it neatly with a paper towel or napkin, the edges folded over the top of the can. He’d leave it sitting around with the brown stains of tobacco spit turning the innocent white paper towel into a repulsive sight… Only my mom’s dad could have gotten away with that in her house.
By the time I was in high school, my football coach’s tobacco-stained mouth had little impact on me. I was used to a world that treated boys like men and wasn’t shy about telling them if they were coming up short.
“Where’s the powder puff twins?” He’d yell for the two smallest kids who didn’t have an ounce of aggression in them for the hamburger drill. I recall the tidal wave of tobacco juice that preceded his disgusted tone and words to the timid hearted boys.
You’d think that would have been enough to turn me off from that ugly habit. But I sought the rough and tumble coach’s approval. The smatterings of tobacco rain that flew from his mouth in praise when I’d sacrifice my body to lay someone out was music to my eyes… and my ears as the one note ring played at full volume between my ears.
I wasn’t as blatant when I coached high school lacrosse, but a wad of Redman was usual evident in the bugle in my cheek if someone was paying close attention. I can’t recall how long it’s been since I’ve had a chew of tobacco, maybe two years now.
When the weather is just right and I’m outside, a breeze hits me in a particular way, I find myself reaching for my left pocket. There’s nothing there… there can’t be. If there was a pouch of tobacco there I’d almost certainly fail.
Isn’t that what happens once we cross a fine line and pollute our bodies? Once we compromise or breach the line it becomes like the weak link in our chain. The chain doesn’t keep us in bondage, it keeps us from it.
Funny how this world has that concept backward… No wonder the lines are so easily broken and so many of us live in bondage.
Jason Stasyszen
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 8:47 am
Funny/sad how we convince ourselves we need that certain thing to get others’ approval or to prove manhood or whatever else. It’s a lie and a bondage. Glad we know the one who proclaimed that truth that makes us free. 🙂 Good stuff, Floyd. Thank you.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:44 pm
It is sad, Jason. That’s cost me a lot of pain across my lifetime. What people perceive as freedom is actually bondage. Funny how the world has it so backward. Thanks, Jason.
Lisa notes
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 9:14 am
I appreciate you sharing this, Floyd. Several members in my family either now or have chewed in the past, and I know it’s been a hard thing for them to let go of. Kinda strange that it’s one of those few things that has stayed primarily as a “man” thing and not picked up as much by women. I’m glad you were able to stop; that’s encouragement that it IS possible.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:47 pm
Habits are funny things. We all have them, we just have to try to make sure they’re the good habits! Thanks, Lisa. And yeah, women spittin’ tobacco juice doesn’t appeal to many of them…
ceil
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 9:47 am
HI Floyd! You said a wonderful thing about chains. I do have a bad habit (speak of) of looking at rules as confining. But the personal rules I have for myself do keep me from being something I’m not. And it keeps me from diving back into the habits that will only harm me.
I never chewed, but I did smoke. Kicking that habit was hard, but now I can’t stand cigarette smoke, so The Lord is helping me keep to that promise with his grace.
Sort of like your empty pocket. Instead of being filled with chew, it’s filled with freedom. Pretty good trade, I’d say!
Blessings,
Ceil
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:49 pm
A good trade indeed, Ceil. Well said about the rules, and coming to realize more and more that you and I are cut from the same mold, sister! I often see rules as confining as well. Glad you kicked the habit, not easy, but it is when God’s given the reins. Thanks, Ceil.
Bill (cycelguy)
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 1:43 pm
Hey Floyd! Thanks for the honesty. i was asked recently about some things and the person could not believe that neither me or my wife have either drank, smoked or chewed. Neither one of us had the desire although our fathers both smoked, as well as her mom. I wish I could say I never said a bad word or never looked at stuff my eyes shouldn’t see or got run over by the material bug. We all have chains to break. It starts with leaving the pocket empty. I love that line! Thanks for being an example.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:53 pm
Good for you, Bill, and your wife. I’m thoroughly impressed with the fact that you guys haven’t ever had any of those things! I know you don’t, but for people like me, it’s truly amazing. May God bless you for the heart to strive for His will. The empty pocket has much value, my friend. Thanks, Bill.
Betty Draper
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 2:46 pm
Yeah I was there too brother, smoked three packs a day. To even write it out makes me still say, how stupid could you be Betty? After salvation, every time I would put that cigarette in my mouth I was reminded how it owned me. Quitting was awful, simple awful. I would buy a pack, smoke one, get convicted, throw them in the garbage, dig through that garbage for them later, pick out a coffee drenched cigarette and start the whole cycle over a again, did that for about two months till finally I put it down for good. I was so worried about being with my family who all smoked and how I would do as we sit and played cards late at night. I envied those who said it never bothered them once to quit…bothered me for a good year. And sometimes, where the weather is just right I get that urge again but I will never picked them up again. Now if I could just get that self control thing going for my unhealthy eating. The rebel in me wants to eat what I want, don’t want anyone telling me what to eat. Think I need to chain up the rebel. Great post brother.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:57 pm
I’m with you, Betty. It’s not easy, sister. Those of us with that type “A” personalities and the obsessive behavior have a tough time. You’re not alone! I’m not judging or pointing fingers, I’m in the boat with you… and the company is wonderful! Thanks for sharing your story, makes me smile and gives me hope. Blessings to you and yours, Betty.
Sharon
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 3:07 pm
I have never smoked, but everyone has *lines* that they have crossed. In my case, I am thinking about one particular time when I strayed. Crossing the line didn’t happen in one big intentional leap, but rather in a series of small steps of rationalization and compromise. What I later found out, after the consequences started tumbling like a row of sinful dominoes, was that the conscience can become dulled and desensitized. The Holy Spirit still lived inside me, yes, but as I ignored His pricks of conviction more and more, they became less frequent and so much quieter.
Praise God, He pursues us. And even when we stray, we are never far from His presence, and His sturdy grip never lets go. I’m so thankful for the “Hound of Heaven” who tracked me relentlessly with His love and brought me back to His narrow way. There is freedom in following The Path…
GOD BLESS!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 6:00 pm
Amen, Sharon. The peace and joy that come from walking the straight and narrow is so underestimated. I too am grateful for His relentless desire and love for us. Where would we be without It? Scary to think about. Thanks, Sharon.
Thomas Mason
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 4:30 pm
I’m one of those people who crossed the line I should never have crossed. Still held in bondage to this day despite my feeble attempts to find freedom from it. One fine day I will. It’s so close, I know it.
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
You’re not alone, Thomas. We all have something and I appreciate your desire and determination. I’m praying for you, brother. God bless, Thomas.
Audra Krell
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 5:26 pm
Old habits die hard, but do those kind of addictions every truly die? I find the most hard core ones never do; you’ll probably always reach for your left pocket. That can be a chance however for you to praise God for all He has done to make you whole!
Floyd
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 6:04 pm
You could be right, Audra. I could be reaching for something that’s not there for the rest of my life. I’ll praise God for many things, His grace is to big to be measured or fathomed. Thanks for the input, Audra!
Hazel Moon
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 6:15 pm
My dad smoked cigarettes for MANY years, and when he suddenly quit, the reach for the pack in his pocket was the hardest to break. He started placing lifesavers or wrapped candies in his pocket as a substitute. I am glad you have two years behind you and the way to keep from going “back,” is to go forward and – – never purchase that red label for old times sake. I had a Christian friend who admitted she had a problem with drink. I almost asked her how it ever made it into her house? Just leave it at the store!
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:30 pm
That’s it, Hazel! If it’s not in my pocket, my chances of success are increased abundantly! The Bible calls it, “guarding your heart.” Your dad was a great example for all of his family. I remember you telling me this, funny how some things just stick… Thanks, Hazel.
Voni
Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 7:28 pm
I do think our American society could do a whole lot better with acknowledging the cross-over from boy to man, girl to woman. Then smoking, chaw, sex and drugs and alcohol wouldn’t have to be the “proof” of growing up. The Jews have it right with bar and bat mitzvahs. Adulthood should be a weight gently settling on the shoulders, not a sudden freedom to act like we want to with no accountability. *Stepping off soapbox*
Blessings,
Voni
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:32 pm
You’re really onto something, Voni. You’ve obviously given this thought, good thought. We as a society cherish worthless things and undervalue the most prized things in this cosmos that you can’t see. The flesh… weak indeed. Thanks, Voni, jump up on that soapbox anytime, sister. I’ll get the microphone!
Pam
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 8:06 am
“The chain doesn’t keep us in bondage, it keeps us from it.” So true, Floyd, so true. I can always count on you to get to the nitty gritty of the matter. Excellent post.
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:35 pm
Thanks, Pam. I’ve lived long enough dancing around the truth, now I try to brace myself and admit it to myself… the first step of rising above! Blessings to you and yours, Pam.
TC Avey
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 9:19 am
It’s interesting how the world defines what is “normal” behavior, what is acceptable and what’s not. Sadly the church has allowed the world to dictate much of its behavior as well…hence so many people inside the church who feel little to no shame in professing Jesus with their lips while in church but then walk out the door and denying Him with the way they live their daily lives.
His Word should be the truth that sets us free and guides our hearts. Psalm 119:105.
I’m not pointing fingers, I’m as guilty as anyone. Thank God for His grace!
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:37 pm
I’m with you in the shadow of His grace, TC. No place I’d rather be and in it we find His truth in all aspects of our life. We definitely have been infected by the world through our weak flesh. Thanks for speaking the hard truth, TC.
Barb Raveling
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 10:13 am
Wow, two years, Floyd – that’s so great! A lot of people chew tobacco in Montana. Every once in awhile I’ll pull up behind someone at the stoplight and watch them open their door to spit. I know how hard it is to break habits. So glad you were able to break yours!
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:38 pm
When you layout the steps in overcoming some of our weaknesses, I get them. Not that I’ve got all mine in check, but I’m getting there! Thanks, Barb. At least I know we don’t have to worry about you doing any chewing!
Nannette and the Sweetheart
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 12:22 pm
My, we all have these bad habits, whether they are wrapped in tobacco juice or not! I remember my mother, years and years ago, was an avid smoker. Winstons were her product of choice! We used to try to hide them from her, to no avail of course. But seriously, one day she gave her heart to God, came home, threw them in the trash (she smoked a pack a day!) and asked God to deliver her from them. That is the honest truth, He completely did just that! We tease her that she didn’t ask Him to take away her Coca Cola addiction, ha, but surely it wasn’t as bad as the damage she was doing to her lungs.
I love everything you said here! Good stuff, I want to be free!
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:40 pm
That’s a great story about your mom, Nannette. We all have weaknesses, it’s just that some of them are easier to see than others, but we all have that thorn of our flesh. I’m with you on being free as well, to be “Free indeed!” Thanks, Nannette.
Mia
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 12:38 pm
Dear Floyd
I have found in my life, and still do, that the only way I can overcome any bad habit in my life, is only when God brings me to that place where I have to admit that if He does not do it in me and through me, I will never be rid of whatever habit I was trying to overcome with so-called willpower.
Blessings XX
Mia
Floyd
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 7:42 pm
Well said, Mia! Will power of this flesh is like trying to drain the ocean with a straw! It is His strength in us after we admit our weakness that lifts above our flesh. Wise words, sister! Thanks, Mia.
Dolly@Soulstops
Thursday, May 15, 2014 @ 10:10 pm
Floyd,
Great insight here about how all bad habits begin with a certain attitude…and the only way to overcome is what Mia pointed out in her reply…it is in acknowledging our inability, our weakness that we can then appropriate God’s strength (2 Cor. 12:9-10)…and you’re wise to not carry what tempts you…thinking out loud here: what else could you put in your left pocket that would be a good habit you’d like to cultivate…Congrats on a clean 2 years 🙂
Floyd
Friday, May 16, 2014 @ 4:52 pm
I’m okay. I keep water with me to drink, which is healthier than anything else I might carry with me! Thanks, Dolly.
Dolly@Soulstops
Saturday, May 17, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
P.S. I hope I didn’t offend you with my “thinking out loud”…sorry if I was giving unsolicited advice…(I only think out loud with my friends…)
Floyd
Saturday, May 17, 2014 @ 6:17 pm
Not in the slightest, Dolly! I appreciate any word of wisdom, I truly do. It means you do care and that means a great deal to me! I do appreciate you treating me like a friend and brother. You’re too kind, Dolly. What a heart! Bless you, sister!
Dan Erickson
Friday, May 16, 2014 @ 5:48 am
I smoked in my late teens and early twenties. Then I quit smoking and chewed for a few years. Yuk! It’s been over twenty years since I’ve touched any tobacco products. I’ll admit, sometimes the smell of cigarette smoke is tempting.
Floyd
Friday, May 16, 2014 @ 4:53 pm
I hear you, Dan. It’s when you least expect it when the temptation comes to you, but that’s not worth it, not anymore. Thanks, Dan.
Jennifer Dougan
Friday, May 16, 2014 @ 5:50 pm
Hi Floyd,
This line “Once we compromise or breach the line it becomes like the weak link in our chain” is what resonated with me most tonight. True is so many ways. Trying to breech up and strengthen that part of the line is the ongoing battle then, huh?
Have a great week,
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
Floyd
Saturday, May 17, 2014 @ 10:23 am
It sure is, Jennifer. Once the nail bends, it’s prone to bend in the same spot every time there after. Better to walk the path directed by our Father that leaves us free of bondage. The world struggles with what true freedom really is. Thanks, Jennifer. A great week to you and your clan too, sister.
Ngina Otiende
Sunday, May 18, 2014 @ 5:53 am
Floyd, i come from that line that once believed that all bad habits get broken automatically the moment you are in relationship with Jesus. Completely naive. It’s it’s taken being in a new culture the last 3 years (this July) to understand on a much deeper level that having a relationship with the Lord is the beginning, not the end of inner change. We are all so off in our ways, in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend – only God can show us the depths of our issues. And that doesn’t happen on day 1 or year 5 of salvation, it’s just a lifetime journey. Grateful for your honesty as always, always helps me great deal.
Floyd
Sunday, May 18, 2014 @ 12:27 pm
You have such an insightful way of summing God’s truths up in a way that makes them easy to grasp. That’s a gift. I’ve told you before, but you are wise beyond your years, sister. Thanks so much, Ngina.
Dan Black
Sunday, May 18, 2014 @ 6:38 pm
“And the Truth will set you free.” Amen about that! God’s Word breaks the chains of bad habits. When we are young the habits we form really stick with us when we become older, either for good or bad. The key, like we both know, is to allow God’s truths found in the Bible to break us from those that separate us from Him. Great post!
Floyd
Monday, May 19, 2014 @ 7:13 pm
Very well said, Dan. You do have a way with words, my friend. Thanks!
Lincoln Parks
Monday, May 19, 2014 @ 7:43 am
So timely, I was just listening to a song by Jesus Culture called Break every Chain. I play it over and over in my head. Breaking the chain of mistakes that stayed with us over the years is a beautiful thing. I can’t tell you how amazing this is to hear and also walk through at the same time. Its a double blessing.
Floyd
Monday, May 19, 2014 @ 7:15 pm
I’ll have to get that song. God really does make beautiful things out of our ugly ways. Good call, Lincoln. Thanks for your encouragement, it is a blessing to me as well. Thanks, brother.
Caleb Suko
Saturday, May 24, 2014 @ 4:47 pm
I’m thankful that I grew up in a home where I didn’t see many of these bad habits. Yet you don’t need a bad example to start a bad habit yourself. My bad habits have to deal mainly with food and that can be hard to get rid of because unlike tobacco you still have to eat. Ultimately I find that when I am disciplined in my walk with the Lord it’s easier to kick those bad habits.
Floyd
Sunday, May 25, 2014 @ 9:11 am
You make some great points, Caleb. Not surprised at your wisdom, brother. The fact that it’s easier to kick the flesh when we’re striving to walk with our Father is one, as well as the starting a bad habit without the example of one, but the big one that stuck out to me is the fact that food is a harder concept to shake since it’s one we all have to have. Never thought about it like that. Thanks for the light bulb!
Linda
Sunday, May 25, 2014 @ 9:57 am
Floyd, this is such a heartfelt post, thank you so much for sharing.
Floyd
Sunday, May 25, 2014 @ 5:19 pm
Thanks, Linda. The hardest things to write about are often the most needed. For me for sure!
Dolly@Soulstops
Tuesday, May 27, 2014 @ 4:25 pm
Hi Floyd,
I can reach this post from an old link but when I hit home, I get the same blank white page that I’ve gotten for the past several days every time I try theregoi.com…same thing when I used your link in your tweet from today…Sorry…will try again.
Floyd
Tuesday, May 27, 2014 @ 5:53 pm
Sorry, Dolly. I have April checking on it for me. If it’s on my end I’ll get it fixed, and thanks for the heads up.